Episode 31: Devil on Your Shoulder

The Agents are half way through the trials of the Fey, and now they are face to face with Big Betty and whatever horrid culinary abominations she can serve. Can they stomach Betty’s trial, and whatever else the trials have in store for them.

Transcript

Coming soo

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[Music]

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hello everyone

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and welcome back to agents of damned

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our let’s play d d podcast featuring

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myself

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your sometimes benevolent often

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malevolent dungeon master

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jordan roman and as always i am joined

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by my

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fellow players hi guys i’m katie and i

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play safe

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hey everyone i’m christina and i play

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wintera and i’m drew mclean and by the

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quantity and quality of bahamut’s

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quotable quips

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i play the good dr arlo aegon actually

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freaking on par for

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your little stick you’re welcome

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and you don’t even have to enter it into

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your list of things you’re keeping track

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of jordan

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no because i i’ve given up on that

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because

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you’ve gotten too elaborate with them

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what no i’m like i’m still in the early

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parts of my list

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i’m just saying like in the beginning it

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was like by the

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and then two words of bahamut or

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something or by his

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and then like one thing now it’s like a

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[ __ ] sonnet oh yeah it’s gonna be

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like an epic poem by the time

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we actually get any contact with bahamut

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i assume

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uh the finale episode is going to be

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half drew’s intro i’m just going to like

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die because like bahamut’s going to be

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like

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listen i i’ve been there the entire time

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listening to all of these

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just just just stop this this isn’t

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arlo saying it yeah it’s not to say

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that’d be real weird because that would

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imply

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that bahamut has an issue with drew

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my god hashtag break the floor like look

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there are beings beyond your

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understanding that

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have more control over your existence

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than even i

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and one of them just like won’t stop

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making [ __ ] up

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oh my goodness none of this is true i

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need you to understand

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i’m just a dragon man i mean a god

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dragon but a dragon

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i’m just trying to live my life man i’m

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not a small business owner i don’t own

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all this property i don’t know why he

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keeps i’ve never even heard of a tgi

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fridays

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oh boy all these employees keep like

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coming up to me asking about 401k i

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didn’t know i had employees

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the worst part is these teenagers they

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won’t leave me alone

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okay all right all right all right give

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us the recap

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give us the recap fair enough

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last time the agents began the arduous

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task of

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facing the trials of the fae

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they faced many challenging and bizarre

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oppositions

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including a dating game where they

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needed to find the fey lord who held the

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key to advancing

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and solving the puzzle of the booty

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riddlers

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now they continue towards their next

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trial unaware

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of what next curious task awaits them

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and thus we resume our tale

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you guys are as i mentioned last time

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in this large open dining area

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big betty has just kicked in

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the doors saying who’s hungry [ __ ]

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arlo like very apprehensively

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slowly raises his hand damn straight you

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are

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sit your ass down oh boy

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oh no peggy’s very meta today

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oh no so as you all

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either willingly or reluctantly take a

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seat at this ginormous

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table spib hops up onto the table

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and addresses audience so for this trial

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we will be testing your constitution as

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i am sure you have occasionally

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experienced betty’s food can be

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challenging at times

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[ __ ] off i’m just saying betty

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we do not have good return on customers

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this may be reason maybe some are dead

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who knows

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anyway for this trial you are going to

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need to overcome betty’s most sinister

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recipes

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ever conducted any questions

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um excellent let us begin

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for the 10

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course soon enterprise endurance feast

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i [ __ ] hate you you picked that one

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on purpose

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no [ __ ] so becky rolls

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out the first set of cartouche or for

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anyone who is unfamiliar with that and

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has not seen the dairy queen ad that

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pokes fun at these things which is the

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only reason i know what that is

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uh is that fancy tray thing with the

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covering

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that you see rich people use to hold

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their food

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okay fair enough i mean i think that

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like if you have a butler and a cartoon

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and they

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give you food in it yes okay very same

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can i just say i heard witch people and

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not rich people at first so i was

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picturing something very different i

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actually too heard witch people and i

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was like

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wait in today’s day and age is there

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really a difference

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anyway so allow me to explain

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the way that this contest will work in

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game

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you will have to survive each of the 10

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different courses

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of the ultimate sunnah endurance course

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you’ll make a constitution save equal to

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the standard khan save for big betty

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however

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instead of gaining any sort of a benefit

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or a boon if you pass

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you gain a temporary plus one to your

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overall constitution score

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neat if we fail i’m getting to that

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oh god for each failure your

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constitution score

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hits minus three

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oh boy if your constitution score ever

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hits

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zero you fall unconscious and you’re out

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do all of us need to pass this just one

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of you

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oh god all right come here blood dice

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i’m gonna need you oh i hope they betray

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you today

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so beggy has her hands on two

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of the trays spib somehow despite his

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minor stature also manages to do this

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and beggie says for the first cause

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the spicy sooner

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sticks and she lifts them up and there

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are just deep fried

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presumably sooner you can’t tell they

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almost have a bit of a mosaic filter

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over them because god knows what

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with a literal stink line forming a

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skull and crossbones over them

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oh boy wait wait wait wait hold on so

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you said

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presumably sooner is soon a thing that

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we know what the [ __ ] it is

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sooner like a [ __ ] fish in this world

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are you just like

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is that like a cheeky thing or is it

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like no sun is a

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a fish in fantasy world that we know of

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now

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it’s the fish that saith is named after

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the one that

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uh well first of all no it’s not because

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your name isn’t sunnah

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new head cannon’s safe name is suna and

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she picks something edgier

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all i will say on that is all i will say

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is there is an answer to that question

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however you guys have never heard of

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suno prior to big betty’s

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okay oh boy god

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[ __ ] damn it jordan what happens if i

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crit failed

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christina i hadn’t considered that [ __ ]

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i get to be a dick

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in a con save right yeah i can’t save

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can we do things before we do the the

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the trial

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like can we do magics you’re in the

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trial but if you would like to

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cast a spell before you do your save

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that is okay okay

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you were able to do spells in the other

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trials i see no reason why i wouldn’t

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let you be silly in these

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please tell me i stalk the spell that i

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want for

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today [ __ ]

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never mind

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i was hoping i sucked purify food and

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drink i didn’t

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oh that wouldn’t have helped i would not

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have let that happen not on your life

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that dice is immediately fired i will

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say

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that in the case of a critical success

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or a critical failure

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the reward punishment is doubled

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oh boy so i have a minus six now

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it is to your overall score so in your

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case since you have a 14

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you now have an eight

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oh boy oh boy there’s 10 of these

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oh boy there’s 10 of these 19.

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okay you’re good you get a plus one to

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your overall score okay

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uh 16. okay

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you two are good let me see

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how our sweet baby bookworm handles this

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bookworm just spontaneously dies

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no she actually handles it pretty well

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surprisingly when tara previously hating

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the spicy suna

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when we were back in thai anther like

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literally shoves it as far away from her

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as she can when she tries eating it

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she’s like this did not get any better

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oh oh yeah that’s right you do have a

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thing against suna don’t you

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yes no arlo’s like leaning over at her

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like a mouth full of uh sooner like are

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you all first

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no harlow eats the winter

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sooner i’m not going to make you do

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another save on that one there’s enough

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torture left

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so as this goes on beggie brings out the

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next seg of dishes this is all chef

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becky by the way just to be clear

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okay you have not seen any other betty

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ah the other two buddies aren’t present

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you do not see

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any other baggies aside from chef betty

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god damn it i wanted to trick you into

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revealing things i’m not that stupid

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look man i might be sipping on some wine

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here but i’m not so far gone that i’ll

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just reveal all my secrets

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some maybe but not that one i’ll get you

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one day

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and your little dog too anyway so

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she puts the next ones down and as she

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lifts it she says

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the second cause the spicy

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sooner and she lifts it up and

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you might expect a spicy dish to be

270
00:11:00,240 –> 00:11:05,839
reddish in nature

271
00:11:02,079 –> 00:11:08,720
it’s just black and bubbling

272
00:11:05,839 –> 00:11:09,760
with visible bones sticking out of it

273
00:11:08,720 –> 00:11:12,959
you

274
00:11:09,760 –> 00:11:17,120
roll your saves

275
00:11:12,959 –> 00:11:20,079
or do your spells whatever oh 18

276
00:11:17,120 –> 00:11:21,600
would healing help with people getting

277
00:11:20,079 –> 00:11:22,399
minuses in their constitution in this

278
00:11:21,600 –> 00:11:25,200
context

279
00:11:22,399 –> 00:11:26,480
no damn the only spells that will really

280
00:11:25,200 –> 00:11:28,399
make a difference will be things that

281
00:11:26,480 –> 00:11:30,079
might help you with the rolls if you

282
00:11:28,399 –> 00:11:31,600
fail a roll you fail a roll i’m not

283
00:11:30,079 –> 00:11:35,120
gonna give you all that

284
00:11:31,600 –> 00:11:38,240
it’s a minus three normally right four

285
00:11:35,120 –> 00:11:39,680
oh uh for a failed save yes yes okay no

286
00:11:38,240 –> 00:11:42,880
i got a 13 on the die

287
00:11:39,680 –> 00:11:45,760
so uh minus my uh

288
00:11:42,880 –> 00:11:47,760
negative one at the moment yeah that’s

289
00:11:45,760 –> 00:11:51,040
not gonna do it

290
00:11:47,760 –> 00:11:53,600
i have a new spell from tasha’s that i

291
00:11:51,040 –> 00:11:56,959
have not gotten to use yet that i might

292
00:11:53,600 –> 00:11:59,920
be able to use helpfully okay

293
00:11:56,959 –> 00:12:00,560
so it’s it’s betty and sweetie puffy boy

294
00:11:59,920 –> 00:12:03,680
who are

295
00:12:00,560 –> 00:12:06,079
bringing us the food right yes

296
00:12:03,680 –> 00:12:06,800
well really it’s just betty she’s like

297
00:12:06,079 –> 00:12:10,079
walking

298
00:12:06,800 –> 00:12:11,920
presumably she’s leaving the room and

299
00:12:10,079 –> 00:12:13,360
coming back with it but you never see

300
00:12:11,920 –> 00:12:15,040
this happen because it happens while you

301
00:12:13,360 –> 00:12:16,639
guys are eating and she is somehow able

302
00:12:15,040 –> 00:12:17,680
to avoid eye contact at all times with

303
00:12:16,639 –> 00:12:20,000
you guys

304
00:12:17,680 –> 00:12:21,120
oh i am not casting magic on betty never

305
00:12:20,000 –> 00:12:26,639
mind

306
00:12:21,120 –> 00:12:29,600
we’re we’re not to try and cast a spell

307
00:12:26,639 –> 00:12:31,279
on betty no i was going to try to cast a

308
00:12:29,600 –> 00:12:32,959
spell on sweetie puffy boy

309
00:12:31,279 –> 00:12:34,720
but you just said like no he only helped

310
00:12:32,959 –> 00:12:37,200
with the first one it’s just betty

311
00:12:34,720 –> 00:12:38,720
not like oh no never mind i mean he’s

312
00:12:37,200 –> 00:12:39,839
lifting the food up but he’s not

313
00:12:38,720 –> 00:12:41,040
bringing it out

314
00:12:39,839 –> 00:12:42,959
i’m just saying like is he like

315
00:12:41,040 –> 00:12:46,160
presenting us with the food

316
00:12:42,959 –> 00:12:47,920
in some context he’s lifting the lids

317
00:12:46,160 –> 00:12:49,279
for two of them because he only has the

318
00:12:47,920 –> 00:12:52,320
two arms

319
00:12:49,279 –> 00:12:56,160
i would like to cast

320
00:12:52,320 –> 00:13:00,320
fast friends on sweetie puffy boy

321
00:12:56,160 –> 00:13:03,600
with the aim of doing what asking him

322
00:13:00,320 –> 00:13:06,040
to like help wintera

323
00:13:03,600 –> 00:13:08,320
fake eating the food

324
00:13:06,040 –> 00:13:10,399
[Music]

325
00:13:08,320 –> 00:13:11,920
listen golden dragon boy i understand

326
00:13:10,399 –> 00:13:13,600
what you’re trying to do i feel like

327
00:13:11,920 –> 00:13:14,959
we’ve been friends forever honestly it’s

328
00:13:13,600 –> 00:13:16,880
a pretty quick friendship that we have

329
00:13:14,959 –> 00:13:18,480
established here

330
00:13:16,880 –> 00:13:19,839
but the trials the trial and i cannot go

331
00:13:18,480 –> 00:13:21,760
against that literally no one can go

332
00:13:19,839 –> 00:13:23,279
against that if you try to go against it

333
00:13:21,760 –> 00:13:24,880
it just will not count sorry that is the

334
00:13:23,279 –> 00:13:25,200
way it works cannot do anything about

335
00:13:24,880 –> 00:13:27,360
that

336
00:13:25,200 –> 00:13:28,800
but you are new best friend don’t know

337
00:13:27,360 –> 00:13:29,120
why i feel you’ve always been new best

338
00:13:28,800 –> 00:13:31,760
friend

339
00:13:29,120 –> 00:13:34,240
new love you love best friend yes you

340
00:13:31,760 –> 00:13:37,279
know what i’ll take that

341
00:13:34,240 –> 00:13:39,920
take it so for the rest of this sweetie

342
00:13:37,279 –> 00:13:40,240
puffy boy is your bff but he cannot help

343
00:13:39,920 –> 00:13:43,040
you

344
00:13:40,240 –> 00:13:44,160
like not do the trial if you don’t do

345
00:13:43,040 –> 00:13:47,680
the trolley then you

346
00:13:44,160 –> 00:13:48,160
auto fail it oh boy how long does this

347
00:13:47,680 –> 00:13:49,680
last

348
00:13:48,160 –> 00:13:51,360
is it will it last long enough for us to

349
00:13:49,680 –> 00:13:54,480
get matching tattoos

350
00:13:51,360 –> 00:13:59,120
no so well no it’s not here

351
00:13:54,480 –> 00:14:01,680
so so this time when tara takes a sip of

352
00:13:59,120 –> 00:14:04,480
it and she just knocks the soup over

353
00:14:01,680 –> 00:14:06,320
you hear bookworm also have an equally

354
00:14:04,480 –> 00:14:07,199
visceral reaction she did oh [ __ ] i have

355
00:14:06,320 –> 00:14:11,199
to roll

356
00:14:07,199 –> 00:14:13,360
yes you know what saith is enjoying it

357
00:14:11,199 –> 00:14:14,800
she she’s uh she drank down the whole

358
00:14:13,360 –> 00:14:18,000
bowl what’d you guys

359
00:14:14,800 –> 00:14:18,800
i the 16 18. okay you you both are good

360
00:14:18,000 –> 00:14:21,519
you get another plus

361
00:14:18,800 –> 00:14:21,920
one the druids are not doing great yeah

362
00:14:21,519 –> 00:14:25,120
oh

363
00:14:21,920 –> 00:14:27,199

  1. it still passes okay

364
00:14:25,120 –> 00:14:28,800
i forgot about the plus one my con is

365
00:14:27,199 –> 00:14:32,480
high i’m a cleric

366
00:14:28,800 –> 00:14:35,519
it’s okay it’s fine

367
00:14:32,480 –> 00:14:38,880
okay as you all finish

368
00:14:35,519 –> 00:14:41,920
guzzling down your soup slash upending

369
00:14:38,880 –> 00:14:43,360
your soup the next seg of dishes

370
00:14:41,920 –> 00:14:47,519
immediately slammed down

371
00:14:43,360 –> 00:14:50,800
in front of you as beggy exclaims next

372
00:14:47,519 –> 00:14:54,399
the spicy sooner

373
00:14:50,800 –> 00:14:57,199
salad and lifts it up and

374
00:14:54,399 –> 00:15:00,639
you’ve seen fresher greens admittedly

375
00:14:57,199 –> 00:15:02,160
you’ve seen greener greens

376
00:15:00,639 –> 00:15:03,680
you don’t know what exactly you’re

377
00:15:02,160 –> 00:15:06,639
looking at but it looks more like it

378
00:15:03,680 –> 00:15:08,560
belongs in a dumpster than on a plate

379
00:15:06,639 –> 00:15:09,920
when tara looks as disgusted as possible

380
00:15:08,560 –> 00:15:12,079
she’s just like

381
00:15:09,920 –> 00:15:13,199
i don’t know what forest these came from

382
00:15:12,079 –> 00:15:15,790
but

383
00:15:13,199 –> 00:15:17,810
there’s something wrong going on there

384
00:15:15,790 –> 00:15:18,959
[Laughter]

385
00:15:17,810 –> 00:15:21,600
[Music]

386
00:15:18,959 –> 00:15:23,600
i rolled a nat 20 on this one okay you

387
00:15:21,600 –> 00:15:27,920
get a plus two on that one

388
00:15:23,600 –> 00:15:29,680
oh god [ __ ] me arlo sees a salad and

389
00:15:27,920 –> 00:15:31,360
he looks of a bet he’s like uh i think

390
00:15:29,680 –> 00:15:33,120
there’s been a mistake uh there’s

391
00:15:31,360 –> 00:15:35,040
vegetables in this

392
00:15:33,120 –> 00:15:36,399
oh [ __ ] you’re right and she scoops out

393
00:15:35,040 –> 00:15:36,880
all the vegetables and all that is left

394
00:15:36,399 –> 00:15:40,240
is just

395
00:15:36,880 –> 00:15:44,959
the nasty dressing in the fish thank you

396
00:15:40,240 –> 00:15:47,199
[Laughter]

397
00:15:44,959 –> 00:15:49,600
dude i have that [ __ ] in there i

398
00:15:47,199 –> 00:15:53,440
apparently ought not to have done that

399
00:15:49,600 –> 00:15:56,880
the greens are what saves you okay so

400
00:15:53,440 –> 00:16:01,920
this is a con save and i have plus two

401
00:15:56,880 –> 00:16:05,040
right so far okay so it’s four plus

402
00:16:01,920 –> 00:16:07,360
okay so so subtract three

403
00:16:05,040 –> 00:16:08,079
nine subtract three from your overall

404
00:16:07,360 –> 00:16:11,759
con

405
00:16:08,079 –> 00:16:14,160
oh we’re in a room right yeah

406
00:16:11,759 –> 00:16:14,959
when tara picks up her plate and she

407
00:16:14,160 –> 00:16:18,079
throws it

408
00:16:14,959 –> 00:16:23,199
across the room and screams angrily

409
00:16:18,079 –> 00:16:25,120
god i liked it no it was disgusting

410
00:16:23,199 –> 00:16:26,399
arlo like takes a bite of his and he’s

411
00:16:25,120 –> 00:16:29,360
like on the on the

412
00:16:26,399 –> 00:16:31,040
like hunter of the table

413
00:16:29,360 –> 00:16:36,240
[Music]

414
00:16:31,040 –> 00:16:39,519
just hunched over the table just ah

415
00:16:36,240 –> 00:16:41,360
i’m fine i’m good and

416
00:16:39,519 –> 00:16:43,519
i maybe we may i maybe needed the

417
00:16:41,360 –> 00:16:44,639
vegetables that was on me that was a

418
00:16:43,519 –> 00:16:47,120
tactical

419
00:16:44,639 –> 00:16:48,160
dad glare you guys look over at bookworm

420
00:16:47,120 –> 00:16:51,120
and she has taken a

421
00:16:48,160 –> 00:16:52,800
she attempted to eat it but the second

422
00:16:51,120 –> 00:16:56,079
it got close to her mouth

423
00:16:52,800 –> 00:16:59,279
she immediately turned green and

424
00:16:56,079 –> 00:17:01,279
was unable to do it she also failed what

425
00:16:59,279 –> 00:17:03,120
wait what when tara like you look over

426
00:17:01,279 –> 00:17:04,640
and look or arlo looks over at you and

427
00:17:03,120 –> 00:17:05,679
like his eyes are teared up and he has a

428
00:17:04,640 –> 00:17:06,079
little bit of drool coming from his

429
00:17:05,679 –> 00:17:08,640
mouth

430
00:17:06,079 –> 00:17:09,439
like from coughing up food and he looks

431
00:17:08,640 –> 00:17:12,640
like somehow

432
00:17:09,439 –> 00:17:15,280
paler and there’s a bead of silence

433
00:17:12,640 –> 00:17:16,640
and he says are you gonna finish your

434
00:17:15,280 –> 00:17:18,959
salad

435
00:17:16,640 –> 00:17:19,650
the one i already threw across the room

436
00:17:18,959 –> 00:17:21,600
no

437
00:17:19,650 –> 00:17:23,520
[Music]

438
00:17:21,600 –> 00:17:25,760
the one that also physically hurt you to

439
00:17:23,520 –> 00:17:25,760
eat

440
00:17:26,640 –> 00:17:31,120
i’ll make you reroll that one don’t test

441
00:17:28,640 –> 00:17:32,160
me if it’s just sitting quietly in her

442
00:17:31,120 –> 00:17:33,840
chair like

443
00:17:32,160 –> 00:17:37,520
dabbing the side of her mouth with a

444
00:17:33,840 –> 00:17:39,760
napkin just completely unfazed

445
00:17:37,520 –> 00:17:41,919
them street kids and they’ll just eat

446
00:17:39,760 –> 00:17:43,520
anything i tell you

447
00:17:41,919 –> 00:17:47,200
she’s like i’ve had to eat people before

448
00:17:43,520 –> 00:17:50,080
we’re like what she’s like what

449
00:17:47,200 –> 00:17:50,080
i said garbage

450
00:17:51,360 –> 00:17:54,559
yeah so i can do one more of those

451
00:17:52,880 –> 00:17:55,520
before i am doubt i’m just letting you

452
00:17:54,559 –> 00:18:00,080
guys know

453
00:17:55,520 –> 00:18:00,960
that i’m feisty sooner it’s people i

454
00:18:00,080 –> 00:18:04,240
have a uh

455
00:18:00,960 –> 00:18:06,080
a minus four mod right now so wait is

456
00:18:04,240 –> 00:18:09,760
spicy soon a people

457
00:18:06,080 –> 00:18:11,360
jordan no okay i’ll alleviate that one

458
00:18:09,760 –> 00:18:14,960
because no i’m not gonna make

459
00:18:11,360 –> 00:18:18,400
beggy like a secret cannibal

460
00:18:14,960 –> 00:18:19,760
surprise that’s a surprise

461
00:18:18,400 –> 00:18:21,679
that’s such a problem that’s the

462
00:18:19,760 –> 00:18:25,360
surprise part

463
00:18:21,679 –> 00:18:27,360
the secret is i killed you in the future

464
00:18:25,360 –> 00:18:29,200
it fed you to yourself

465
00:18:27,360 –> 00:18:31,520
how’s that for your mind did i freak

466
00:18:29,200 –> 00:18:35,360
your [ __ ] bean

467
00:18:31,520 –> 00:18:35,360
those suna sticks your fingers

468
00:18:35,760 –> 00:18:42,720
anywho the next dish comes out much

469
00:18:38,640 –> 00:18:46,160
through the dismay of one dying shifter

470
00:18:42,720 –> 00:18:50,160
before this spicy

471
00:18:46,160 –> 00:18:51,120
sooner souffle and as she lifts it this

472
00:18:50,160 –> 00:18:53,600
thing has sunk

473
00:18:51,120 –> 00:18:57,360
all to hell it’s basically like a crust

474
00:18:53,600 –> 00:19:01,039
around the plate ugh

475
00:18:57,360 –> 00:19:02,480
it did not rise for [ __ ] please 19 or

476
00:19:01,039 –> 00:19:05,919
higher

477
00:19:02,480 –> 00:19:09,679
oh good bookworm crit failed oh

478
00:19:05,919 –> 00:19:12,880
baby she has a constitution score of

479
00:19:09,679 –> 00:19:14,960
one oh thank you what what’s fair the

480
00:19:12,880 –> 00:19:18,160
dying do

481
00:19:14,960 –> 00:19:20,640
to someone about to pass out jordan

482
00:19:18,160 –> 00:19:25,840
read me the language and spare the dying

483
00:19:20,640 –> 00:19:25,840
you touching

484
00:19:27,520 –> 00:19:33,039
is everyone having fun yet is this as

485
00:19:29,280 –> 00:19:35,360
wonderful because i’m loving this

486
00:19:33,039 –> 00:19:37,360
you touch a living creature that has

487
00:19:35,360 –> 00:19:39,600
zero hit points

488
00:19:37,360 –> 00:19:40,880
the creature becomes stable the smell

489
00:19:39,600 –> 00:19:44,480
has no effect on

490
00:19:40,880 –> 00:19:46,559
dinner constructs i will say if you do

491
00:19:44,480 –> 00:19:48,880
that to someone who passes out

492
00:19:46,559 –> 00:19:50,840
they will pop back up to a con score of

493
00:19:48,880 –> 00:19:54,320
one

494
00:19:50,840 –> 00:19:58,640
okay that is a fair trade

495
00:19:54,320 –> 00:20:01,039
well what is this a souffle supposedly

496
00:19:58,640 –> 00:20:02,320
yeah this time when tara just vomits

497
00:20:01,039 –> 00:20:06,720
into it

498
00:20:02,320 –> 00:20:09,520
oh so go ahead and cast spare the dying

499
00:20:06,720 –> 00:20:10,799
yeah um so first first and foremost 19

500
00:20:09,520 –> 00:20:15,919
hell yeah you boy

501
00:20:10,799 –> 00:20:15,919
um and uh yeah we’re gonna casper

502
00:20:16,240 –> 00:20:19,360
but like arlo was like shoveling the

503
00:20:18,000 –> 00:20:21,200
souffle into his mouth

504
00:20:19,360 –> 00:20:22,720
it’s like he sees wood tear just like

505
00:20:21,200 –> 00:20:23,440
slump over into a chair and he kind of

506
00:20:22,720 –> 00:20:25,919
like

507
00:20:23,440 –> 00:20:26,720
magically summons up some holy energy

508
00:20:25,919 –> 00:20:28,720
and then like it

509
00:20:26,720 –> 00:20:30,400
concentrates on a point in his finger

510
00:20:28,720 –> 00:20:31,919
and he just like jabs her real hard in

511
00:20:30,400 –> 00:20:32,960
the ribs with it and she like pops back

512
00:20:31,919 –> 00:20:35,360
up like

513
00:20:32,960 –> 00:20:36,799
yeah she punches you arlo angrily like

514
00:20:35,360 –> 00:20:37,500
why would you make me go through with

515
00:20:36,799 –> 00:20:40,240
more of this

516
00:20:37,500 –> 00:20:41,520
[Music]

517
00:20:40,240 –> 00:20:43,840
honestly i think you need to tough

518
00:20:41,520 –> 00:20:45,039
enough about your uh your palette there

519
00:20:43,840 –> 00:20:47,120
or when you take three points of

520
00:20:45,039 –> 00:20:48,400
blushing damage ah what

521
00:20:47,120 –> 00:20:50,240
i think you need to toughen up about

522
00:20:48,400 –> 00:20:54,320
your knees and watch them

523
00:20:50,240 –> 00:20:55,600
oh boy joke’s on you my knees are

524
00:20:54,320 –> 00:20:57,600
my knees aren’t even where you think

525
00:20:55,600 –> 00:21:00,240
they are i got them weird

526
00:20:57,600 –> 00:21:00,960
backwards legs the blood dice is doing

527
00:21:00,240 –> 00:21:04,080
me well

528
00:21:00,960 –> 00:21:05,280
it’s it’s rolled me a 19. okay so that’s

529
00:21:04,080 –> 00:21:08,720
another plus one for you and

530
00:21:05,280 –> 00:21:10,080
you two are doing great huh

531
00:21:08,720 –> 00:21:11,280
german nature people as it turns out

532
00:21:10,080 –> 00:21:12,159
don’t like hag food who would have

533
00:21:11,280 –> 00:21:15,120
thought

534
00:21:12,159 –> 00:21:16,159
specifically this particular meal we’re

535
00:21:15,120 –> 00:21:19,760
not a fan of spicy

536
00:21:16,159 –> 00:21:21,919
sooner apparently no as it turns out as

537
00:21:19,760 –> 00:21:23,919
you and bookworm both have a

538
00:21:21,919 –> 00:21:25,200
constitution score of one which means

539
00:21:23,919 –> 00:21:28,480
you guys have a minus

540
00:21:25,200 –> 00:21:30,400
five modifier wait wait you guys need to

541
00:21:28,480 –> 00:21:31,760
you guys need to crit succeed in order

542
00:21:30,400 –> 00:21:34,640
to keep on going

543
00:21:31,760 –> 00:21:36,480
i love the the the head cannon of like

544
00:21:34,640 –> 00:21:38,640
you know bookworm and when tara used to

545
00:21:36,480 –> 00:21:40,159
eating like fresh fruit and like berries

546
00:21:38,640 –> 00:21:42,559
and fish from nature

547
00:21:40,159 –> 00:21:44,159
their entire lives meanwhile like safe

548
00:21:42,559 –> 00:21:46,240
lived on the streets and like had the

549
00:21:44,159 –> 00:21:49,039
literal garbage and like arlo is used to

550
00:21:46,240 –> 00:21:49,840
like the shittiest of shitty military

551
00:21:49,039 –> 00:21:52,080
rations and

552
00:21:49,840 –> 00:21:54,400
they’re just like hell yeah this was

553
00:21:52,080 –> 00:21:54,400
warm

554
00:21:56,640 –> 00:22:00,799
that’s so sad because that implies you

555
00:21:58,640 –> 00:22:02,799
guys haven’t upgraded since then and

556
00:22:00,799 –> 00:22:06,000
that doesn’t sound right to me

557
00:22:02,799 –> 00:22:07,919
oh boy just ingrained in them

558
00:22:06,000 –> 00:22:10,400
god they’re like there wasn’t even rain

559
00:22:07,919 –> 00:22:12,559
on my food are you kidding me

560
00:22:10,400 –> 00:22:13,440
so just just to clarify is spare the

561
00:22:12,559 –> 00:22:16,799
dying a

562
00:22:13,440 –> 00:22:20,000
spell or a can’t trip can’t

563
00:22:16,799 –> 00:22:22,240
okay what i will say is

564
00:22:20,000 –> 00:22:23,600
in the instance of both bookworm and

565
00:22:22,240 –> 00:22:25,600
winterra failing

566
00:22:23,600 –> 00:22:26,880
since you can only cast one spell per

567
00:22:25,600 –> 00:22:28,640
turn you have to pick one of them if

568
00:22:26,880 –> 00:22:31,120
they stay down for longer than that

569
00:22:28,640 –> 00:22:33,200
particular round you can’t do it

570
00:22:31,120 –> 00:22:35,120
all right i’ll do spare dagger on when

571
00:22:33,200 –> 00:22:36,960
tara this turn and then next turn

572
00:22:35,120 –> 00:22:39,120
i’ll do it well i mean she might crit

573
00:22:36,960 –> 00:22:40,880
you don’t know

574
00:22:39,120 –> 00:22:43,120
it’s her literal only chance hers and

575
00:22:40,880 –> 00:22:44,559
bookworms i’m just gonna keep

576
00:22:43,120 –> 00:22:46,240
ping-ponging between the two of them to

577
00:22:44,559 –> 00:22:47,520
keep them alive well again that’s

578
00:22:46,240 –> 00:22:49,120
assuming that they both don’t

579
00:22:47,520 –> 00:22:51,679
immediately fail this they have to both

580
00:22:49,120 –> 00:22:55,200
roll in that 20s for that

581
00:22:51,679 –> 00:22:57,840
and on that note big maggie brings out

582
00:22:55,200 –> 00:23:01,280
the next one

583
00:22:57,840 –> 00:23:03,679
for the fifth dish the halfway mark for

584
00:23:01,280 –> 00:23:06,880
those keeping count

585
00:23:03,679 –> 00:23:10,559
the spicy sounder

586
00:23:06,880 –> 00:23:12,240
sandwich and as she lifts the trays

587
00:23:10,559 –> 00:23:13,840
you’re not even sure that’s bread

588
00:23:12,240 –> 00:23:15,200
holding together whatever the [ __ ] is in

589
00:23:13,840 –> 00:23:16,799
the middle of it

590
00:23:15,200 –> 00:23:18,720
i have only recently become familiar

591
00:23:16,799 –> 00:23:20,559
with sandwiches and i’m fairly certain

592
00:23:18,720 –> 00:23:23,600
that is not one

593
00:23:20,559 –> 00:23:24,240
all right down the hatch well bookworm

594
00:23:23,600 –> 00:23:27,760
failed

595
00:23:24,240 –> 00:23:30,480
when tara failed well pick one

596
00:23:27,760 –> 00:23:31,919
i rolled my purple dice this time it

597
00:23:30,480 –> 00:23:35,039
gave me an 18.

598
00:23:31,919 –> 00:23:37,120
god bless it i was so hoping you were

599
00:23:35,039 –> 00:23:40,720
gonna say it failed you

600
00:23:37,120 –> 00:23:42,559
so now that we’ve hit the halfway mark

601
00:23:40,720 –> 00:23:44,799
i would like to go ahead and take

602
00:23:42,559 –> 00:23:46,720
inventory on where everyone is at

603
00:23:44,799 –> 00:23:48,080
constitution score wise we know bookworm

604
00:23:46,720 –> 00:23:51,200
is out

605
00:23:48,080 –> 00:23:51,600
i’m at 22. okay i need to stop you right

606
00:23:51,200 –> 00:23:54,799
there

607
00:23:51,600 –> 00:23:56,320
max 20. oh yeah i’m at 20.

608
00:23:54,799 –> 00:23:58,159
okay which means you have a plus five to

609
00:23:56,320 –> 00:24:01,279
all your concepts so i

610
00:23:58,159 –> 00:24:03,440
did good the first two and then one loss

611
00:24:01,279 –> 00:24:04,559
and so i’m i’m at the same as when i

612
00:24:03,440 –> 00:24:07,039
started oh

613
00:24:04,559 –> 00:24:08,240
cool that tracks well wait no you should

614
00:24:07,039 –> 00:24:10,960
be at a plus one

615
00:24:08,240 –> 00:24:12,640
from where you were no i had two good

616
00:24:10,960 –> 00:24:13,919
and then one bad which took me down

617
00:24:12,640 –> 00:24:16,640
three and then one good

618
00:24:13,919 –> 00:24:17,279
and so that’s we’ve had five we’ve had

619
00:24:16,640 –> 00:24:19,919
five

620
00:24:17,279 –> 00:24:21,520
yeah that was round five oh yeah i might

621
00:24:19,919 –> 00:24:23,200
have lost one

622
00:24:21,520 –> 00:24:24,559
about to say i i’ve been keeping track i

623
00:24:23,200 –> 00:24:26,720
have a list in front of me of all these

624
00:24:24,559 –> 00:24:28,799
things we’re almost at my favorite

625
00:24:26,720 –> 00:24:30,559
well did you spare the dying me or

626
00:24:28,799 –> 00:24:34,799
bookworm

627
00:24:30,559 –> 00:24:38,880
oh god that’s right um so did you die

628
00:24:34,799 –> 00:24:40,640
yes do you want to stay dead or

629
00:24:38,880 –> 00:24:42,000
that’s an arlo decision i don’t know if

630
00:24:40,640 –> 00:24:43,760
mere bookworm is doing

631
00:24:42,000 –> 00:24:46,240
either like any better we’re both just

632
00:24:43,760 –> 00:24:49,200
as likely to fail or succeed i think but

633
00:24:46,240 –> 00:24:50,640
one is probably going to punch you yep

634
00:24:49,200 –> 00:24:52,559
bookworm has been doing

635
00:24:50,640 –> 00:24:53,919
awful on her diet like even with the

636
00:24:52,559 –> 00:24:55,600
negative modifier she’s been doing

637
00:24:53,919 –> 00:24:57,520
atrocious on her con saves

638
00:24:55,600 –> 00:24:59,120
oh arlo is like looking at like bookworm

639
00:24:57,520 –> 00:25:00,960
who is a precious bean and

640
00:24:59,120 –> 00:25:02,480
and like when tara who is like a member

641
00:25:00,960 –> 00:25:03,840
of his team that he’s responsible for

642
00:25:02,480 –> 00:25:05,200
and he looks like that like

643
00:25:03,840 –> 00:25:06,559
that meme of the guy with the two

644
00:25:05,200 –> 00:25:08,400
buttons and he’s like dabbing his

645
00:25:06,559 –> 00:25:10,159
forehead with sweat

646
00:25:08,400 –> 00:25:12,480
you could also just be a mercy angel and

647
00:25:10,159 –> 00:25:14,960
not worry about either one of them

648
00:25:12,480 –> 00:25:16,400
spare them from the next bite you know

649
00:25:14,960 –> 00:25:19,120
that’s probably for the best

650
00:25:16,400 –> 00:25:20,960
i’ll just i’m gonna write them both a

651
00:25:19,120 –> 00:25:23,840
note

652
00:25:20,960 –> 00:25:25,360
with my prescription pad and say hey my

653
00:25:23,840 –> 00:25:26,400
bad like hey i thought you just wanted

654
00:25:25,360 –> 00:25:31,600
to wait this one out

655
00:25:26,400 –> 00:25:31,600
my bad here’s a here’s a lollipop

656
00:25:32,400 –> 00:25:38,159
that’s adorable

657
00:25:33,440 –> 00:25:41,520
[Laughter]

658
00:25:38,159 –> 00:25:42,960
arlo aegon the military doctor has

659
00:25:41,520 –> 00:25:47,039
lollipops on

660
00:25:42,960 –> 00:25:48,720
deck okay so you’re you’re being a mercy

661
00:25:47,039 –> 00:25:51,679
angel for both of them

662
00:25:48,720 –> 00:25:53,600
yeah so with half of the contestants

663
00:25:51,679 –> 00:25:56,960
knocked out

664
00:25:53,600 –> 00:26:00,320
one of them at a meaty 16 the other one

665
00:25:56,960 –> 00:26:02,000
at a perfect 20. becky

666
00:26:00,320 –> 00:26:04,000
brings out the next two dishes she is

667
00:26:02,000 –> 00:26:06,000
now the only one bringing out food as

668
00:26:04,000 –> 00:26:08,159
sweetie puffy boy now gets to just

669
00:26:06,000 –> 00:26:09,919
chill and watch y’all’s potential

670
00:26:08,159 –> 00:26:11,440
enjoyment or suffering depending on how

671
00:26:09,919 –> 00:26:13,440
the next ones go

672
00:26:11,440 –> 00:26:15,200
can sweetie puffy boy sit by me his best

673
00:26:13,440 –> 00:26:17,039
friend oh as

674
00:26:15,200 –> 00:26:20,159
soon as when tara fell out of her chair

675
00:26:17,039 –> 00:26:20,159
he immediately took her seat

676
00:26:20,640 –> 00:26:26,799
i believe in your best friend i i i

677
00:26:24,080 –> 00:26:28,480
like i do i i improvise a secret

678
00:26:26,799 –> 00:26:31,919
handshake with sweetie puffy boy

679
00:26:28,480 –> 00:26:35,520
he somehow knows it yeah

680
00:26:31,919 –> 00:26:39,120
that yeah that’s par for the course

681
00:26:35,520 –> 00:26:42,559
the next dish spicy

682
00:26:39,120 –> 00:26:44,799
sooner spaghetti

683
00:26:42,559 –> 00:26:47,279
and she lifts it up and those might be

684
00:26:44,799 –> 00:26:47,279
noodles

685
00:26:47,440 –> 00:26:51,200
i’m sorry what they are moving which is

686
00:26:50,159 –> 00:26:54,400
weird

687
00:26:51,200 –> 00:26:58,559
why are they moving that’s

688
00:26:54,400 –> 00:26:58,559
the flavor and texture

689
00:27:00,960 –> 00:27:07,440
oh good good all right

690
00:27:04,159 –> 00:27:10,480
you’ve been enjoying this you hush varus

691
00:27:07,440 –> 00:27:13,279
varus my old friend the spirit who

692
00:27:10,480 –> 00:27:17,600
guides me please for the love of god

693
00:27:13,279 –> 00:27:20,960
look on me kindly plus five shut up

694
00:27:17,600 –> 00:27:23,520
oh all right yeah that works out so 21

695
00:27:20,960 –> 00:27:24,720
i’m okay [ __ ] you were good on the die

696
00:27:23,520 –> 00:27:28,720
roll [ __ ] off

697
00:27:24,720 –> 00:27:31,679
uh i don’t like you real bad [ __ ] you

698
00:27:28,720 –> 00:27:33,279
please lord muhammad by all that is holy

699
00:27:31,679 –> 00:27:35,039
and draconic guide me through this

700
00:27:33,279 –> 00:27:36,640
trouble sometimes to eat these moving

701
00:27:35,039 –> 00:27:37,600
noodles that i’m pretty sure is some

702
00:27:36,640 –> 00:27:40,080
kind of

703
00:27:37,600 –> 00:27:42,159
extra dimensional worm oh god i hope you

704
00:27:40,080 –> 00:27:44,960
fail

705
00:27:42,159 –> 00:27:46,480
uh tough [ __ ] homeboy because that’s uh

706
00:27:44,960 –> 00:27:48,399
it’s a 15 on the die

707
00:27:46,480 –> 00:27:50,000
and then like what’s my constitution now

708
00:27:48,399 –> 00:27:52,480
plus four it’s a plus

709
00:27:50,000 –> 00:27:53,200
something you’re good all right big

710
00:27:52,480 –> 00:27:54,720
daddy

711
00:27:53,200 –> 00:27:56,399
it just would have been really funny if

712
00:27:54,720 –> 00:27:58,399
like save had

713
00:27:56,399 –> 00:28:03,840
prayed to her dead friend and got it and

714
00:27:58,399 –> 00:28:03,840
you prayed to a literal god and failed

715
00:28:05,039 –> 00:28:10,080
it was nothing personal i just wanted

716
00:28:06,960 –> 00:28:13,520
that nothing personnel kid

717
00:28:10,080 –> 00:28:16,320
anywho so becky brings out

718
00:28:13,520 –> 00:28:17,440
the next dish which by the way is my

719
00:28:16,320 –> 00:28:18,559
favorite

720
00:28:17,440 –> 00:28:19,919
i thought you said the other one was

721
00:28:18,559 –> 00:28:20,640
your favorite i thought the spaghetti

722
00:28:19,919 –> 00:28:22,399
was your favorite

723
00:28:20,640 –> 00:28:24,240
no i said we were approaching my

724
00:28:22,399 –> 00:28:26,640
favorite he did say that

725
00:28:24,240 –> 00:28:31,840
that’s true this one is my favorite and

726
00:28:26,640 –> 00:28:31,840
you will soon find out why

727
00:28:32,640 –> 00:28:39,840
spicy soda

728
00:28:36,159 –> 00:28:40,920
salmon you don’t even know what you’re

729
00:28:39,840 –> 00:28:43,360
looking at

730
00:28:40,920 –> 00:28:44,399
[Music]

731
00:28:43,360 –> 00:28:46,799
it’s actually the thing that’s looked

732
00:28:44,399 –> 00:28:50,720
the most like fish so far

733
00:28:46,799 –> 00:28:54,960
saints is gonna like look up at arlo

734
00:28:50,720 –> 00:28:57,600
just absolutely exhausted

735
00:28:54,960 –> 00:29:00,000
arlo has half the fish in his mouth

736
00:28:57,600 –> 00:29:00,000
already

737
00:29:00,799 –> 00:29:05,039
arlo has no sense of self preservation

738
00:29:02,640 –> 00:29:08,720
when it comes to food at this point

739
00:29:05,039 –> 00:29:11,760
god bless these blood dice 24

740
00:29:08,720 –> 00:29:15,360
oh you’re good oh well

741
00:29:11,760 –> 00:29:18,559
well i like the sound of that well

742
00:29:15,360 –> 00:29:21,679
well did you credit well well

743
00:29:18,559 –> 00:29:21,679
well that’s a nine

744
00:29:22,559 –> 00:29:26,480
more than the taste it’s more the

745
00:29:24,159 –> 00:29:28,240
concept of a sunnah salmon you just

746
00:29:26,480 –> 00:29:30,480
can’t comprehend it and it

747
00:29:28,240 –> 00:29:31,279
it physically hurts you to eat this

748
00:29:30,480 –> 00:29:33,919
thing as

749
00:29:31,279 –> 00:29:35,919
it is expelled from you almost as soon

750
00:29:33,919 –> 00:29:37,200
as it hits your tongue

751
00:29:35,919 –> 00:29:38,799
i don’t know why but in my head i

752
00:29:37,200 –> 00:29:40,320
imagine he like picks it up to like eat

753
00:29:38,799 –> 00:29:42,159
it and like the fish is like still kind

754
00:29:40,320 –> 00:29:42,880
of alive and somehow scented and it

755
00:29:42,159 –> 00:29:45,520
looks it man it’s

756
00:29:42,880 –> 00:29:47,200
like why would you eat me my friend and

757
00:29:45,520 –> 00:29:48,720
then he just like has an existential

758
00:29:47,200 –> 00:29:52,640
crisis and throws up

759
00:29:48,720 –> 00:29:52,640
that does not happen he hallucinated it

760
00:29:53,039 –> 00:29:56,240
he’s thinking all of this like while

761
00:29:54,480 –> 00:29:58,640
he’s just like kind of bubbling on the

762
00:29:56,240 –> 00:29:58,640
table

763
00:29:58,820 –> 00:30:03,279
[Music]

764
00:30:01,120 –> 00:30:04,399
sweetie puppy boy like caresses your arm

765
00:30:03,279 –> 00:30:06,880
reassuringly

766
00:30:04,399 –> 00:30:08,000
not like anything bad just like you know

767
00:30:06,880 –> 00:30:10,799
like a friend

768
00:30:08,000 –> 00:30:12,480
like it is okay most people who have

769
00:30:10,799 –> 00:30:14,240
this much of big betties begin to

770
00:30:12,480 –> 00:30:16,240
experience real delusions

771
00:30:14,240 –> 00:30:18,480
by the way uh sweetie puffy boy as far

772
00:30:16,240 –> 00:30:21,440
as you know arlo has undergone like a

773
00:30:18,480 –> 00:30:22,000
beautiful squidward-esque transformation

774
00:30:21,440 –> 00:30:26,640
and this does

775
00:30:22,000 –> 00:30:29,440
not face you hello sweetie puffy boy you

776
00:30:26,640 –> 00:30:32,799
beautiful round man

777
00:30:29,440 –> 00:30:34,480
thank you you are also beautiful and

778
00:30:32,799 –> 00:30:38,159
spherical

779
00:30:34,480 –> 00:30:41,600
thank you you should model for

780
00:30:38,159 –> 00:30:44,320
fantasy maxum magazine

781
00:30:41,600 –> 00:30:45,679
oh the the almost pornography magazine

782
00:30:44,320 –> 00:30:50,000
but not quite

783
00:30:45,679 –> 00:30:52,480
no no not that one

784
00:30:50,000 –> 00:30:56,480
the kind that some young boys found in

785
00:30:52,480 –> 00:30:56,480
father’s bathroom when they were younger

786
00:30:58,240 –> 00:31:04,560
why do i feel like that’s a real memory

787
00:31:00,559 –> 00:31:06,500
for you

788
00:31:04,560 –> 00:31:09,539
[Applause]

789
00:31:06,500 –> 00:31:09,539
[Music]

790
00:31:10,640 –> 00:31:15,519
i wonder what this is oh good golly gosh

791
00:31:16,240 –> 00:31:20,240
let’s just say i’m real glad that dad

792
00:31:17,519 –> 00:31:20,240
does not listen to that

793
00:31:21,200 –> 00:31:28,159
i feel strange in my pants all right

794
00:31:25,200 –> 00:31:28,799
okay all right that’s making me more

795
00:31:28,159 –> 00:31:32,880
sick

796
00:31:28,799 –> 00:31:35,840
than the big betty’s

797
00:31:32,880 –> 00:31:37,200
bring out the next plate come on the

798
00:31:35,840 –> 00:31:38,600
magazines that they’re placed on top of

799
00:31:37,200 –> 00:31:41,940
their really good magazines

800
00:31:38,600 –> 00:31:41,940
[Music]

801
00:31:42,190 –> 00:31:46,799
[Applause]

802
00:31:43,840 –> 00:31:46,799
okay

803
00:31:47,040 –> 00:31:50,880
[Laughter]

804
00:31:49,279 –> 00:31:52,720
you know the magazines when you go to

805
00:31:50,880 –> 00:31:55,760
the convenience store they are in like

806
00:31:52,720 –> 00:31:55,760
your separate section

807
00:31:57,120 –> 00:32:00,960
i don’t want to think about little

808
00:31:58,720 –> 00:32:01,840
little 15 year old jordan finding a

809
00:32:00,960 –> 00:32:06,080
magazine

810
00:32:01,840 –> 00:32:06,080
in his father’s bathroom please let’s go

811
00:32:06,640 –> 00:32:09,120
stop it

812
00:32:12,000 –> 00:32:17,519
so to rush us along big maggie comes out

813
00:32:14,480 –> 00:32:17,519
with the next dish

814
00:32:17,600 –> 00:32:25,120
the earth the spicy

815
00:32:21,919 –> 00:32:27,200
sooner stink

816
00:32:25,120 –> 00:32:28,399
and she opens it up and it almost looks

817
00:32:27,200 –> 00:32:32,480
like a t-bone steak

818
00:32:28,399 –> 00:32:32,480
but wrong i

819
00:32:32,960 –> 00:32:36,559
okay honestly what do you expect at this

820
00:32:35,600 –> 00:32:40,960
point

821
00:32:36,559 –> 00:32:42,640
yeah i know i know okay

822
00:32:40,960 –> 00:32:44,399
oh looks at the plate and like he

823
00:32:42,640 –> 00:32:47,679
legitimately goes but why

824
00:32:44,399 –> 00:32:51,200
though why monk

825
00:32:47,679 –> 00:32:53,840
i i i got another 24. i’m good

826
00:32:51,200 –> 00:32:54,960
all right ponybone dice you’re gonna be

827
00:32:53,840 –> 00:32:58,000
good

828
00:32:54,960 –> 00:33:01,760
bunny bun dice looking pretty good

829
00:32:58,000 –> 00:33:04,960
that’s a 16. you’re good

830
00:33:01,760 –> 00:33:07,760
have you hit 20 yet no

831
00:33:04,960 –> 00:33:09,519
i keep like i get like kind of far ahead

832
00:33:07,760 –> 00:33:13,200
and i [ __ ] up and it takes me back oh

833
00:33:09,519 –> 00:33:15,120
yeah that’s right you failed the salmon

834
00:33:13,200 –> 00:33:17,360
that’s only plus one every time and then

835
00:33:15,120 –> 00:33:20,559
minus three if you fail

836
00:33:17,360 –> 00:33:22,240
it is very skewed towards failure yeah i

837
00:33:20,559 –> 00:33:24,480
know almost like i wanted it to be like

838
00:33:22,240 –> 00:33:26,640
a dangerous challenge or something

839
00:33:24,480 –> 00:33:28,720
almost as if that way you have to con

840
00:33:26,640 –> 00:33:30,480
consecutively succeed like a saith or an

841
00:33:28,720 –> 00:33:32,720
arlo as opposed to fail

842
00:33:30,480 –> 00:33:35,840
early on and not be able to recover like

843
00:33:32,720 –> 00:33:37,360
a bookworm or a wintera

844
00:33:35,840 –> 00:33:39,039
look my dice just decided today was the

845
00:33:37,360 –> 00:33:41,039
day they want to roll under 10 every

846
00:33:39,039 –> 00:33:43,679
single time i’m just

847
00:33:41,039 –> 00:33:45,679
and i thank them for it i mean saith

848
00:33:43,679 –> 00:33:48,080
never rolls poorly honestly we should

849
00:33:45,679 –> 00:33:51,519
have her roll all of the rolls

850
00:33:48,080 –> 00:33:53,039
that’s probably yes well fortunately

851
00:33:51,519 –> 00:33:53,519
only one of you needed to succeed so i

852
00:33:53,039 –> 00:33:55,200
think you

853
00:33:53,519 –> 00:33:56,799
you guys should be like at this point

854
00:33:55,200 –> 00:33:58,640
it’s kind of like a victory lap i don’t

855
00:33:56,799 –> 00:33:59,840
think you guys are

856
00:33:58,640 –> 00:34:01,919
you guys are far enough a lot that you

857
00:33:59,840 –> 00:34:04,840
cannot fail this

858
00:34:01,919 –> 00:34:07,600
all right yeah let’s finish up let’s do

859
00:34:04,840 –> 00:34:08,879
this

860
00:34:07,600 –> 00:34:11,760
she just magically operates out of

861
00:34:08,879 –> 00:34:14,879
nowhere you did not see her come in

862
00:34:11,760 –> 00:34:18,320
the spicy sooner

863
00:34:14,879 –> 00:34:21,280
sorbet and it does just look like

864
00:34:18,320 –> 00:34:23,119
fish ice cream like the one that i drew

865
00:34:21,280 –> 00:34:24,399
in that picture of her

866
00:34:23,119 –> 00:34:26,720
sure i’ll pretend to remember the

867
00:34:24,399 –> 00:34:29,200
details of it

868
00:34:26,720 –> 00:34:31,200
i was over there like you know what i’m

869
00:34:29,200 –> 00:34:31,839
not you know i i don’t i don’t know what

870
00:34:31,200 –> 00:34:35,599
i thought

871
00:34:31,839 –> 00:34:38,000
it would be eighteen

872
00:34:35,599 –> 00:34:38,879
so nineteen on the die i don’t feel like

873
00:34:38,000 –> 00:34:42,079
doing math

874
00:34:38,879 –> 00:34:43,839
i think you’re good so as you guys do

875
00:34:42,079 –> 00:34:46,960
this

876
00:34:43,839 –> 00:34:47,679
becky comes out with the final dish and

877
00:34:46,960 –> 00:34:50,000
this one

878
00:34:47,679 –> 00:34:50,879
is not in its own separate cartouche it

879
00:34:50,000 –> 00:34:53,919
is rather in

880
00:34:50,879 –> 00:34:56,560
a giant one that expands the entire

881
00:34:53,919 –> 00:34:59,920
length of the table

882
00:34:56,560 –> 00:35:03,440
mind you this table is fit for like a

883
00:34:59,920 –> 00:35:05,520
banquet so think

884
00:35:03,440 –> 00:35:06,720
like from beauty and the beast beast

885
00:35:05,520 –> 00:35:10,400
dining room table

886
00:35:06,720 –> 00:35:12,800
it’s that big yeah that’s no

887
00:35:10,400 –> 00:35:14,839
okay and she is lifting it one-handed

888
00:35:12,800 –> 00:35:18,079
over her head like a typical

889
00:35:14,839 –> 00:35:19,119
like server would yeah that sounds about

890
00:35:18,079 –> 00:35:23,599
right

891
00:35:19,119 –> 00:35:26,800
the final dish and the most delicious

892
00:35:23,599 –> 00:35:31,839
or deadly the

893
00:35:26,800 –> 00:35:31,839
ultimate sooner

894
00:35:33,920 –> 00:35:37,839
and as she slams this dish down in front

895
00:35:37,280 –> 00:35:40,160
of you

896
00:35:37,839 –> 00:35:42,160
all of your chairs lift a good foot off

897
00:35:40,160 –> 00:35:45,359
the ground before slamming back

898
00:35:42,160 –> 00:35:48,480
down she lifts it up and underneath it

899
00:35:45,359 –> 00:35:51,200
is just this ginormous fish-like

900
00:35:48,480 –> 00:35:52,720
creature that extends the entire length

901
00:35:51,200 –> 00:35:55,040
of the table

902
00:35:52,720 –> 00:35:55,920
to answer your question from earlier

903
00:35:55,040 –> 00:35:59,200
this

904
00:35:55,920 –> 00:36:00,480
is a sunnah not gonna lie out expecting

905
00:35:59,200 –> 00:36:02,000
something that was like a tiny little

906
00:36:00,480 –> 00:36:03,680
piranha fish or something

907
00:36:02,000 –> 00:36:05,920
what kind of [ __ ] fish you think i cook

908
00:36:03,680 –> 00:36:09,280
with have you seen a piranha

909
00:36:05,920 –> 00:36:12,480
where can you even catch this thing

910
00:36:09,280 –> 00:36:13,280
company secret the boss will be very mad

911
00:36:12,480 –> 00:36:15,680
if i tell her

912
00:36:13,280 –> 00:36:17,040
or you or if she finds out i can’t tell

913
00:36:15,680 –> 00:36:19,599
your company’s secrets

914
00:36:17,040 –> 00:36:22,160
girl come on betty you can tell us we’ve

915
00:36:19,599 –> 00:36:23,680
been customers for so long now

916
00:36:22,160 –> 00:36:25,359
i mean i could tell you but i have to

917
00:36:23,680 –> 00:36:28,400
immediately kill you

918
00:36:25,359 –> 00:36:30,160
nevermind don’t want to know so for this

919
00:36:28,400 –> 00:36:32,720
one because it is the ultimate

920
00:36:30,160 –> 00:36:34,240
sooner prize this is more just me having

921
00:36:32,720 –> 00:36:35,599
some last minute fun you roll it at

922
00:36:34,240 –> 00:36:38,480
disadvantage

923
00:36:35,599 –> 00:36:40,079
okay what if on one of the rolls we got

924
00:36:38,480 –> 00:36:41,760
something really good that we want to

925
00:36:40,079 –> 00:36:44,160
keep

926
00:36:41,760 –> 00:36:45,280
well then you hope that the other guy

927
00:36:44,160 –> 00:36:48,400
compliments that

928
00:36:45,280 –> 00:36:49,760
quit yeah i didn’t i rolled up jordan

929
00:36:48,400 –> 00:36:55,839
please

930
00:36:49,760 –> 00:36:55,839
no let me have another one please

931
00:36:58,720 –> 00:37:02,240
roll again and hope you get another one

932
00:37:03,920 –> 00:37:08,640
oh please be in that one this is 17 of

933
00:37:06,240 –> 00:37:10,880
the dive but i wanted it

934
00:37:08,640 –> 00:37:11,680
well i mean the 17 still passes so you

935
00:37:10,880 –> 00:37:14,160
hand

936
00:37:11,680 –> 00:37:16,720
you arlo are the only one who is capable

937
00:37:14,160 –> 00:37:19,359
of handling the ultimate soon enterprise

938
00:37:16,720 –> 00:37:20,000
as safe for the first time this whole

939
00:37:19,359 –> 00:37:23,280
meal

940
00:37:20,000 –> 00:37:25,920
yards it yeah so

941
00:37:23,280 –> 00:37:26,400
you you you see her just turn come you

942
00:37:25,920 –> 00:37:30,000
know from

943
00:37:26,400 –> 00:37:33,920
from her purplish gray to

944
00:37:30,000 –> 00:37:37,839
green deep deep green

945
00:37:33,920 –> 00:37:37,839
and she just

946
00:37:38,240 –> 00:37:41,480
[Applause]

947
00:37:42,320 –> 00:37:46,000
and it just like keeps coming it’s the

948
00:37:45,040 –> 00:37:49,520
whole

949
00:37:46,000 –> 00:37:53,200
meal the whole meal

950
00:37:49,520 –> 00:37:57,119
and you see it all the sorbet the steak

951
00:37:53,200 –> 00:37:59,839
the salmon the still moving spaghetti

952
00:37:57,119 –> 00:38:00,480
the questionable salad greens maybe and

953
00:37:59,839 –> 00:38:02,880
finally

954
00:38:00,480 –> 00:38:04,160
the mostly digested at this point sticks

955
00:38:02,880 –> 00:38:05,599
you’re not quite sure how that works

956
00:38:04,160 –> 00:38:07,359
because that’s not how digestive

957
00:38:05,599 –> 00:38:09,280
that’s not how digestion works but [ __ ]

958
00:38:07,359 –> 00:38:10,960
it no and

959
00:38:09,280 –> 00:38:12,960
like i was like arlo’s like eyes like

960
00:38:10,960 –> 00:38:14,320
shoot open and like from the outside

961
00:38:12,960 –> 00:38:15,599
almost looks like you you see like

962
00:38:14,320 –> 00:38:17,119
galaxies in them

963
00:38:15,599 –> 00:38:19,040
but inside is mine it’s like that

964
00:38:17,119 –> 00:38:20,800
[ __ ] um that scene from ratatouille

965
00:38:19,040 –> 00:38:23,760
where the reviewer like remembers his

966
00:38:20,800 –> 00:38:25,440
childhood when he eats the food

967
00:38:23,760 –> 00:38:27,440
but he remembers like his first like

968
00:38:25,440 –> 00:38:30,400
like his first love

969
00:38:27,440 –> 00:38:30,880
in like [ __ ] like back when he was

970
00:38:30,400 –> 00:38:33,920
like

971
00:38:30,880 –> 00:38:35,119
like in military college medical college

972
00:38:33,920 –> 00:38:38,320
whatever

973
00:38:35,119 –> 00:38:39,599
and he’s just like whoa and then like

974
00:38:38,320 –> 00:38:42,720
you just hear a

975
00:38:39,599 –> 00:38:45,040
dull scaly thud from the bottom of the

976
00:38:42,720 –> 00:38:45,040
table

977
00:38:45,440 –> 00:38:48,480
gross

978
00:38:46,760 –> 00:38:52,720
[Laughter]

979
00:38:48,480 –> 00:38:55,119
and as safe heaves up the entire course

980
00:38:52,720 –> 00:38:56,560
and arlo slams under the table with his

981
00:38:55,119 –> 00:38:58,720
boner

982
00:38:56,560 –> 00:39:00,160
i didn’t say it was a boater yeah you

983
00:38:58,720 –> 00:39:02,079
implied it heavily don’t give me that

984
00:39:00,160 –> 00:39:03,599
[ __ ]

985
00:39:02,079 –> 00:39:05,359
your mind is the one in the gutter

986
00:39:03,599 –> 00:39:08,720
jordan i’m just talking about

987
00:39:05,359 –> 00:39:10,079
this life man we were talking about

988
00:39:08,720 –> 00:39:11,440
dirty magazines earlier i don’t want to

989
00:39:10,079 –> 00:39:15,200
hear it

990
00:39:11,440 –> 00:39:17,040
but as these things happen confetti

991
00:39:15,200 –> 00:39:19,599
shoots from the sky in a banner that

992
00:39:17,040 –> 00:39:22,720
says congratulations you lived

993
00:39:19,599 –> 00:39:26,079
spreads across the table on top of what

994
00:39:22,720 –> 00:39:28,640
is remaining of the ultimate sunnah

995
00:39:26,079 –> 00:39:29,520
and a green light envelops all of you

996
00:39:28,640 –> 00:39:34,800
unconscious

997
00:39:29,520 –> 00:39:34,800
and all and you are teleported away

998
00:39:36,880 –> 00:39:42,720
arlo arlo arlo i need a drink

999
00:39:40,960 –> 00:39:44,720
arlo please i need to get this taste out

1000
00:39:42,720 –> 00:39:47,520
of my mouth arlo’s still like

1001
00:39:44,720 –> 00:39:49,599
in it like arlo’s still like that like

1002
00:39:47,520 –> 00:39:52,640
that food induced fantasy

1003
00:39:49,599 –> 00:39:57,280
arlo for the love of god

1004
00:39:52,640 –> 00:39:59,599
dad what happened

1005
00:39:57,280 –> 00:40:02,160
something stiff give me give me a drink

1006
00:39:59,599 –> 00:40:04,640
man a drink

1007
00:40:02,160 –> 00:40:10,160
stiff and they ask you about a little

1008
00:40:04,640 –> 00:40:12,480
vial of whiskey

1009
00:40:10,160 –> 00:40:13,920
so as this exchange happens you guys

1010
00:40:12,480 –> 00:40:15,359
take in your surroundings and realize

1011
00:40:13,920 –> 00:40:18,800
that you have been brought into an

1012
00:40:15,359 –> 00:40:19,440
empty room with another door on the side

1013
00:40:18,800 –> 00:40:21,599
of it

1014
00:40:19,440 –> 00:40:24,000
there is also a scroll in there at this

1015
00:40:21,599 –> 00:40:25,520
point bookworm and wintera have regained

1016
00:40:24,000 –> 00:40:27,760
consciousness though they are not

1017
00:40:25,520 –> 00:40:29,839
looking good at all

1018
00:40:27,760 –> 00:40:31,200
do our con modifiers stay the same

1019
00:40:29,839 –> 00:40:32,960
jordan

1020
00:40:31,200 –> 00:40:34,880
uh maybe you should read the scroll and

1021
00:40:32,960 –> 00:40:38,480
figure out what’s going on

1022
00:40:34,880 –> 00:40:41,599
all right arlo you are the winner so

1023
00:40:38,480 –> 00:40:43,920
technically you both were wait i won he

1024
00:40:41,599 –> 00:40:47,280
won the last round

1025
00:40:43,920 –> 00:40:49,839
i was kind of in the middle of a thing

1026
00:40:47,280 –> 00:40:52,400
get over it no someone just read the

1027
00:40:49,839 –> 00:40:55,359
[ __ ] scroll

1028
00:40:52,400 –> 00:40:56,720
arlo reads the scroll so it tells you

1029
00:40:55,359 –> 00:40:58,480
that

1030
00:40:56,720 –> 00:41:00,560
it’s basically a congratulatory thing

1031
00:40:58,480 –> 00:41:01,680
saying you managed to survive something

1032
00:41:00,560 –> 00:41:03,280
that very few people have

1033
00:41:01,680 –> 00:41:05,920
however even the most hearted of

1034
00:41:03,280 –> 00:41:06,880
champions need to rest after enduring

1035
00:41:05,920 –> 00:41:10,400
the 10 course

1036
00:41:06,880 –> 00:41:12,240
sunnah hell gauntlet and so you all may

1037
00:41:10,400 –> 00:41:13,920
take as long as you need in order to

1038
00:41:12,240 –> 00:41:14,720
rest and recuperate before continuing on

1039
00:41:13,920 –> 00:41:18,560
with your trials

1040
00:41:14,720 –> 00:41:18,560
you may all take a long rest

1041
00:41:19,280 –> 00:41:22,720
and yes your constitution modifiers go

1042
00:41:21,760 –> 00:41:24,880
back to normal

1043
00:41:22,720 –> 00:41:27,839
that was only for the trial oh god i

1044
00:41:24,880 –> 00:41:27,839
need that long rest

1045
00:41:28,480 –> 00:41:31,440
so while you guys are doing this if you

1046
00:41:29,599 –> 00:41:31,920
guys want to like chat about anything

1047
00:41:31,440 –> 00:41:34,800
you are

1048
00:41:31,920 –> 00:41:35,760
free to do so when tara just finds a

1049
00:41:34,800 –> 00:41:37,839
corner

1050
00:41:35,760 –> 00:41:39,760
and she glares at everyone and then she

1051
00:41:37,839 –> 00:41:42,800
plops into the corner and she

1052
00:41:39,760 –> 00:41:46,000
sits there just seething about the food

1053
00:41:42,800 –> 00:41:47,680
that she just had to ingest in her body

1054
00:41:46,000 –> 00:41:50,079
that is all she does she refuses to

1055
00:41:47,680 –> 00:41:52,640
speak with anyone

1056
00:41:50,079 –> 00:41:53,119
anyone else feeling chattier harlow goes

1057
00:41:52,640 –> 00:41:54,800
over

1058
00:41:53,119 –> 00:41:55,670
when tara who doesn’t want to speak to

1059
00:41:54,800 –> 00:41:58,160
anyone

1060
00:41:55,670 –> 00:42:02,130
[Music]

1061
00:41:58,160 –> 00:42:03,680
hey uh hey when tara doing okay

1062
00:42:02,130 –> 00:42:07,599
[Music]

1063
00:42:03,680 –> 00:42:10,000
do it all right champ arlo

1064
00:42:07,599 –> 00:42:11,920
so help me by all of the forest spirits

1065
00:42:10,000 –> 00:42:15,520
and the ghosts that live in the trees

1066
00:42:11,920 –> 00:42:17,280
i will take your knees if you do not

1067
00:42:15,520 –> 00:42:21,280
leave me alone

1068
00:42:17,280 –> 00:42:23,760
arlo give the wild animal some space

1069
00:42:21,280 –> 00:42:25,280
i understand you want space but i i i do

1070
00:42:23,760 –> 00:42:26,720
have to ask did you just say ghosts in

1071
00:42:25,280 –> 00:42:30,480
the trees

1072
00:42:26,720 –> 00:42:33,040
what’s good all day that’s concerning

1073
00:42:30,480 –> 00:42:34,880
yeah you know three ghosts are there

1074
00:42:33,040 –> 00:42:36,560
with tara like i know you’re upset but

1075
00:42:34,880 –> 00:42:38,240
are there tree ghosts you have to tell

1076
00:42:36,560 –> 00:42:45,839
me

1077
00:42:38,240 –> 00:42:45,839
oh it’s trapping

1078
00:42:47,200 –> 00:42:50,400
all right all right all right i’m going

1079
00:42:50,079 –> 00:42:53,119
are

1080
00:42:50,400 –> 00:42:54,319
those leaves with like the lingering

1081
00:42:53,119 –> 00:42:56,480
question of like

1082
00:42:54,319 –> 00:42:57,599
yo are they just are there ghosts in

1083
00:42:56,480 –> 00:43:00,240
certain trees

1084
00:42:57,599 –> 00:43:02,079
do all trees have ghosts the ghosts only

1085
00:43:00,240 –> 00:43:03,920
actually accumulate in trees

1086
00:43:02,079 –> 00:43:05,440
is that like a rule of trees like he’s

1087
00:43:03,920 –> 00:43:06,800
got so many questions

1088
00:43:05,440 –> 00:43:08,400
these are questions i also now feel

1089
00:43:06,800 –> 00:43:09,839
compelled to answer to potentially use

1090
00:43:08,400 –> 00:43:13,520
against y’all

1091
00:43:09,839 –> 00:43:14,800
oh god okay so exactly for everyone

1092
00:43:13,520 –> 00:43:16,720
everyone’s good

1093
00:43:14,800 –> 00:43:18,880
give me a second i’m changing my spells

1094
00:43:16,720 –> 00:43:22,400
to things that are more utility-based

1095
00:43:18,880 –> 00:43:25,440
okay all right i’m ready so you guys

1096
00:43:22,400 –> 00:43:28,560
make your way over towards the door

1097
00:43:25,440 –> 00:43:29,040
and as you open it you come into what

1098
00:43:28,560 –> 00:43:32,079
almost

1099
00:43:29,040 –> 00:43:36,240
appears to be a gladiator style

1100
00:43:32,079 –> 00:43:38,720
arena there are no

1101
00:43:36,240 –> 00:43:40,000
people in the stands and yet you can

1102
00:43:38,720 –> 00:43:43,920
still hear

1103
00:43:40,000 –> 00:43:46,960
a rousing applause around you

1104
00:43:43,920 –> 00:43:50,160
and from the far end you see a gate

1105
00:43:46,960 –> 00:43:54,079
open as a figure begins

1106
00:43:50,160 –> 00:43:58,079
to emerge and as the figure

1107
00:43:54,079 –> 00:44:01,200
enters your field of vision you see

1108
00:43:58,079 –> 00:44:04,240
a small girl

1109
00:44:01,200 –> 00:44:08,079
she is wearing a fairly unassuming

1110
00:44:04,240 –> 00:44:11,839
dress with a pendant around

1111
00:44:08,079 –> 00:44:15,040
that has a large number four

1112
00:44:11,839 –> 00:44:16,079
uh emblazoned on it and as she

1113
00:44:15,040 –> 00:44:19,200
approaches you all

1114
00:44:16,079 –> 00:44:22,880
she says are you ready to get

1115
00:44:19,200 –> 00:44:24,319
because i’m here to kick your stupid

1116
00:44:22,880 –> 00:44:25,839
i don’t know if you’re allowed to use

1117
00:44:24,319 –> 00:44:27,200
that kind of language young lady don’t

1118
00:44:25,839 –> 00:44:31,280
make me get my chair

1119
00:44:27,200 –> 00:44:33,760
eat my lizard boy oh boy

1120
00:44:31,280 –> 00:44:35,599
why do you remind me of somebody don’t

1121
00:44:33,760 –> 00:44:38,640
know [ __ ] you

1122
00:44:35,599 –> 00:44:41,760
where are your parents [ __ ] you

1123
00:44:38,640 –> 00:44:42,160
anybody else like i i can’t be the only

1124
00:44:41,760 –> 00:44:45,359
one

1125
00:44:42,160 –> 00:44:48,800
that feels like this this little one is

1126
00:44:45,359 –> 00:44:51,200
is very familiar

1127
00:44:48,800 –> 00:44:52,400
doesn’t ring a bell to me yeah no

1128
00:44:51,200 –> 00:44:55,119
couldn’t place it

1129
00:44:52,400 –> 00:44:56,079
is she walking or floating she’s walking

1130
00:44:55,119 –> 00:44:59,119
she’s walking

1131
00:44:56,079 –> 00:45:02,560
she’s walking do you have a brother

1132
00:44:59,119 –> 00:45:05,680
why should i tell you anything i just

1133
00:45:02,560 –> 00:45:07,359
shut up horny haha she calls you horny

1134
00:45:05,680 –> 00:45:10,000
because you have horns and also because

1135
00:45:07,359 –> 00:45:12,000
you’re very horny shut up horny

1136
00:45:10,000 –> 00:45:13,520
when tara is already on all fours and is

1137
00:45:12,000 –> 00:45:15,440
ready to fight

1138
00:45:13,520 –> 00:45:18,000
good you caught the gist everyone roll

1139
00:45:15,440 –> 00:45:20,000
initiative oh god

1140
00:45:18,000 –> 00:45:22,160
what the [ __ ] is wrong with every single

1141
00:45:20,000 –> 00:45:24,400
dice i rolled today god [ __ ] damn it

1142
00:45:22,160 –> 00:45:27,520
that was a seven

1143
00:45:24,400 –> 00:45:32,400
i’m not anybody i got a five teen

1144
00:45:27,520 –> 00:45:34,640
i’m an i’m uh i’m a seven as well okay

1145
00:45:32,400 –> 00:45:36,960
oh wait my initiative is plus seven so

1146
00:45:34,640 –> 00:45:41,040
that’s actually a ten

1147
00:45:36,960 –> 00:45:42,880
okay cool arlo you oh hey

1148
00:45:41,040 –> 00:45:44,160
yes arlo you are up first assuming what

1149
00:45:42,880 –> 00:45:46,480
you mean is fifteen

1150
00:45:44,160 –> 00:45:47,760
i do mean fifteen okay then yeah you’re

1151
00:45:46,480 –> 00:45:51,280
up first

1152
00:45:47,760 –> 00:45:52,400
let’s see i just respect away from

1153
00:45:51,280 –> 00:45:55,040
combat so that’s

1154
00:45:52,400 –> 00:45:56,480
cool yeah i know i heard you say utility

1155
00:45:55,040 –> 00:45:56,960
and i got a little giddy to myself

1156
00:45:56,480 –> 00:45:58,800
honestly

1157
00:45:56,960 –> 00:46:00,560
[Laughter]

1158
00:45:58,800 –> 00:46:01,839
i just took out a bunch of damaging

1159
00:46:00,560 –> 00:46:04,160
spells for things that could be

1160
00:46:01,839 –> 00:46:06,960
conditionally useful to cover

1161
00:46:04,160 –> 00:46:07,359
crazy [ __ ] happening and now my crazy

1162
00:46:06,960 –> 00:46:09,599
[ __ ]

1163
00:46:07,359 –> 00:46:12,319
is enough to fight this little monster

1164
00:46:09,599 –> 00:46:15,520
girl yeah i assume

1165
00:46:12,319 –> 00:46:17,920
cool cool i am all right with that but

1166
00:46:15,520 –> 00:46:20,480
you know what i always stalk jordan

1167
00:46:17,920 –> 00:46:22,480
you know what never leaves my arsenal

1168
00:46:20,480 –> 00:46:25,440
detect magic

1169
00:46:22,480 –> 00:46:27,839
[ __ ] you in the mouth um i’m gonna cast

1170
00:46:25,440 –> 00:46:31,280
a guiding bolt

1171
00:46:27,839 –> 00:46:35,200
right i’m gonna cast it at

1172
00:46:31,280 –> 00:46:38,560
a fourth level okay go ahead and do that

1173
00:46:35,200 –> 00:46:41,200
that’s the 17 to hit hits

1174
00:46:38,560 –> 00:46:44,640
what is the damage die on that again so

1175
00:46:41,200 –> 00:46:47,200
it’s 4d6 radiant damage plus the

1176
00:46:44,640 –> 00:46:49,280
cash on the fourth level so it’s gonna

1177
00:46:47,200 –> 00:46:51,599
be 7d6 radio damage

1178
00:46:49,280 –> 00:46:52,800
cool i don’t like that you said that

1179
00:46:51,599 –> 00:46:55,520
with like no

1180
00:46:52,800 –> 00:46:56,400
i know worries no no it’s fine it’s fine

1181
00:46:55,520 –> 00:46:58,880
go ahead roll it

1182
00:46:56,400 –> 00:47:00,400
you said that on some hakuna matata [ __ ]

1183
00:46:58,880 –> 00:47:02,000
you said like means no worries for the

1184
00:47:00,400 –> 00:47:04,240
rest of your day he’s like 76

1185
00:47:02,000 –> 00:47:05,680
cool i’ll eat that like either this is

1186
00:47:04,240 –> 00:47:06,400
gonna be like yeah roll your damage

1187
00:47:05,680 –> 00:47:09,359
you’re gonna be like

1188
00:47:06,400 –> 00:47:10,160
yeah [ _ ] you drew you [ _ ] it doesn’t

1189
00:47:09,359 –> 00:47:12,079
count and

1190
00:47:10,160 –> 00:47:13,839
or it’s gonna be like yeah you damaged

1191
00:47:12,079 –> 00:47:17,680
her but she’s immortal

1192
00:47:13,839 –> 00:47:19,359
and also she [ __ ] you in the eye

1193
00:47:17,680 –> 00:47:21,119
that sounds like the same thing with two

1194
00:47:19,359 –> 00:47:22,960
different flavors

1195
00:47:21,119 –> 00:47:25,520
they’re two different flavors i’ve had a

1196
00:47:22,960 –> 00:47:30,400
lot of podcasting juice

1197
00:47:25,520 –> 00:47:34,079
oh god all right let’s do some math

1198
00:47:30,400 –> 00:47:36,559
20 damage cool

1199
00:47:34,079 –> 00:47:39,760
so you send out your most powerful

1200
00:47:36,559 –> 00:47:42,400
guiding bolt it careens towards this

1201
00:47:39,760 –> 00:47:45,839
unassuming young child with the

1202
00:47:42,400 –> 00:47:49,200
deeply deeply upsetting vulgar tone

1203
00:47:45,839 –> 00:47:52,720
and it explodes in a radiant burst

1204
00:47:49,200 –> 00:47:57,599
of energy as the light

1205
00:47:52,720 –> 00:48:00,640
fades she looks unfazed

1206
00:47:57,599 –> 00:48:02,640
do you do you experience joy from

1207
00:48:00,640 –> 00:48:05,760
hurting me on a personal level

1208
00:48:02,640 –> 00:48:09,599
yes actually i do sorry i make a good dm

1209
00:48:05,760 –> 00:48:11,370
you’re uh you got a healthy person

1210
00:48:09,599 –> 00:48:14,400
you’re not a healthy person

1211
00:48:11,370 –> 00:48:17,680
[Laughter]

1212
00:48:14,400 –> 00:48:20,640
my dollies hit harder than you you lift

1213
00:48:17,680 –> 00:48:22,160
hey my penis works very well yeah i

1214
00:48:20,640 –> 00:48:23,760
noticed you’re still got a raising heart

1215
00:48:22,160 –> 00:48:27,599
on from the food

1216
00:48:23,760 –> 00:48:29,599
pervert arlo like looks down and like

1217
00:48:27,599 –> 00:48:31,520
spends all the rest of his turn just

1218
00:48:29,599 –> 00:48:32,640
like trying to cover his butter like oh

1219
00:48:31,520 –> 00:48:34,310
no

1220
00:48:32,640 –> 00:48:37,200
oh good i have confirmation excellent

1221
00:48:34,310 –> 00:48:40,079
[Laughter]

1222
00:48:37,200 –> 00:48:41,920
i thought it was gone oh boy i mean it

1223
00:48:40,079 –> 00:48:45,040
was hard to see

1224
00:48:41,920 –> 00:48:45,040
it’s so turden

1225
00:48:46,720 –> 00:48:55,839
so next up it is sate’s turn

1226
00:48:51,040 –> 00:48:58,640
and say before you can do anything

1227
00:48:55,839 –> 00:49:00,559
modi hops off your shoulder and begins

1228
00:48:58,640 –> 00:49:04,160
to walk forward

1229
00:49:00,559 –> 00:49:05,760
what is it my fine furry friend

1230
00:49:04,160 –> 00:49:08,319
he continues on for a little bit and

1231
00:49:05,760 –> 00:49:10,079
then stops and turns around and sits

1232
00:49:08,319 –> 00:49:13,280
down facing you

1233
00:49:10,079 –> 00:49:15,200
he has his head facing downwards and his

1234
00:49:13,280 –> 00:49:16,559
shoulders are sort of like going up and

1235
00:49:15,200 –> 00:49:19,440
down rapidly

1236
00:49:16,559 –> 00:49:30,559
almost as if he’s breathing very heavily

1237
00:49:19,440 –> 00:49:36,480
he’s in his murder pounce mode

1238
00:49:30,559 –> 00:49:36,480
oh no oh no it’s the bone it’s the bone

1239
00:49:42,839 –> 00:49:45,839
hello

1240
00:49:52,160 –> 00:49:59,839
i hope you enjoy my

1241
00:50:00,240 –> 00:50:04,800
and safe you feel something you have

1242
00:50:04,079 –> 00:50:08,160
never

1243
00:50:04,800 –> 00:50:11,280
felt before starting

1244
00:50:08,160 –> 00:50:12,000
from your forehead and reaching through

1245
00:50:11,280 –> 00:50:15,760
the rest of your

1246
00:50:12,000 –> 00:50:19,280
body you feel the sensation

1247
00:50:15,760 –> 00:50:20,559
of burning you’ve been able to handle

1248
00:50:19,280 –> 00:50:22,480
flames before you

1249
00:50:20,559 –> 00:50:24,240
walk through them to intimidate some of

1250
00:50:22,480 –> 00:50:27,520
your bounties

1251
00:50:24,240 –> 00:50:29,280
but now it feels like what

1252
00:50:27,520 –> 00:50:31,280
you think a normal person might

1253
00:50:29,280 –> 00:50:34,880
experience walking through flames

1254
00:50:31,280 –> 00:50:37,760
maybe even worse as you are hunched over

1255
00:50:34,880 –> 00:50:38,720
in pain for the rest of you who might be

1256
00:50:37,760 –> 00:50:42,079
seeing this

1257
00:50:38,720 –> 00:50:44,640
on her forehead a blue flame engulfs a

1258
00:50:42,079 –> 00:50:46,400
small section of it creating a symbol

1259
00:50:44,640 –> 00:50:48,160
it is a three-quarter circle with the

1260
00:50:46,400 –> 00:50:50,800
top open and two lines

1261
00:50:48,160 –> 00:50:51,760
splitting off and a line going straight

1262
00:50:50,800 –> 00:50:54,000
down the middle

1263
00:50:51,760 –> 00:50:56,079
it looks almost like some sort of horned

1264
00:50:54,000 –> 00:51:00,880
beast

1265
00:50:56,079 –> 00:51:03,760
say you are reeling in pain from this

1266
00:51:00,880 –> 00:51:04,240
and modi comes up to you his eyes

1267
00:51:03,760 –> 00:51:09,839
looking

1268
00:51:04,240 –> 00:51:09,839
just like that of asmodeus as he says

1269
00:51:19,599 –> 00:51:28,240
do you accept this power boy

1270
00:51:23,599 –> 00:51:28,240
oh boy oh boy

1271
00:51:28,319 –> 00:51:34,800
anything to make it stop burning as you

1272
00:51:32,160 –> 00:51:38,559
sit there thinking to yourself i need

1273
00:51:34,800 –> 00:51:42,240
the pain to stop i need the pain to stop

1274
00:51:38,559 –> 00:51:44,720
you feel a gentle hand on your shoulder

1275
00:51:42,240 –> 00:51:45,359
you look over and you see the visage of

1276
00:51:44,720 –> 00:51:49,680
your mother

1277
00:51:45,359 –> 00:51:53,599
once more and she says it’s okay saith

1278
00:51:49,680 –> 00:51:56,640
i’m here i won’t let anything hurt you

1279
00:51:53,599 –> 00:52:00,559
just let it happen

1280
00:51:56,640 –> 00:52:05,079
and that gives you a momentary pause

1281
00:52:00,559 –> 00:52:08,079
and you feel at ease before the pain

1282
00:52:05,079 –> 00:52:10,160
intensifies well beyond what you would

1283
00:52:08,079 –> 00:52:12,960
have thought

1284
00:52:10,160 –> 00:52:16,079
you look up at your mother tears in your

1285
00:52:12,960 –> 00:52:18,480
eyes from the pain

1286
00:52:16,079 –> 00:52:20,240
and she looks at you with an earnest

1287
00:52:18,480 –> 00:52:24,240
smile and says

1288
00:52:20,240 –> 00:52:32,079
thank you so much for trusting me

1289
00:52:24,240 –> 00:52:36,720
my dear sweet

1290
00:52:32,079 –> 00:52:37,040
you [ _ ] [ _ ] as you are engulfed in

1291
00:52:36,720 –> 00:52:40,960
a

1292
00:52:37,040 –> 00:52:43,680
column of blue fire everyone else is

1293
00:52:40,960 –> 00:52:45,440
thrown back from the intensity of the

1294
00:52:43,680 –> 00:52:48,960
burst

1295
00:52:45,440 –> 00:52:51,119
and the little girl looks on completely

1296
00:52:48,960 –> 00:52:54,160
unfazed by it

1297
00:52:51,119 –> 00:52:56,160
until in a blinding motion

1298
00:52:54,160 –> 00:52:58,040
she is winded from the spot where she

1299
00:52:56,160 –> 00:53:02,079
stands and her head

1300
00:52:58,040 –> 00:53:02,079
explodes against the wall

1301
00:53:03,760 –> 00:53:10,000
what you all first think is blood

1302
00:53:06,800 –> 00:53:12,559
you soon realize is actually mud as the

1303
00:53:10,000 –> 00:53:15,680
little girl’s body begins to dissolve

1304
00:53:12,559 –> 00:53:17,599
into a clay-like form

1305
00:53:15,680 –> 00:53:19,040
you now realize this was actually a clay

1306
00:53:17,599 –> 00:53:22,400
golem

1307
00:53:19,040 –> 00:53:23,280
but that momentary reprieve is a minor

1308
00:53:22,400 –> 00:53:26,559
note

1309
00:53:23,280 –> 00:53:30,880
compared to the horror that you now see

1310
00:53:26,559 –> 00:53:34,800
standing in front of this now corpse

1311
00:53:30,880 –> 00:53:38,160
is a large devil creature

1312
00:53:34,800 –> 00:53:43,359
muscle on top of muscle it has a

1313
00:53:38,160 –> 00:53:46,559
long face with empty yellow eyes

1314
00:53:43,359 –> 00:53:48,319
and the same sinister smile you all

1315
00:53:46,559 –> 00:53:50,880
recognize

1316
00:53:48,319 –> 00:53:52,800
in a twisted form that can only be

1317
00:53:50,880 –> 00:53:57,839
described

1318
00:53:52,800 –> 00:53:57,839
as hellish

1319
00:53:58,240 –> 00:54:04,960
now safe you

1320
00:54:01,440 –> 00:54:08,240
find yourself in a black

1321
00:54:04,960 –> 00:54:09,200
space you are not in the same place that

1322
00:54:08,240 –> 00:54:13,440
you are for you

1323
00:54:09,200 –> 00:54:17,200
see nothing as far as the eye can see

1324
00:54:13,440 –> 00:54:20,240
until a figure appears before you

1325
00:54:17,200 –> 00:54:24,050
emerging from blue flames

1326
00:54:20,240 –> 00:54:27,139
you see asmodeus

1327
00:54:24,050 –> 00:54:27,139
[Music]

1328
00:54:28,640 –> 00:54:31,839
she doesn’t know what to say

1329
00:54:36,960 –> 00:54:43,520
pieces speechless perfectly for this

1330
00:54:40,400 –> 00:54:47,200
a little taste of power that you can

1331
00:54:43,520 –> 00:54:49,920
quite take so i gave you something a

1332
00:54:47,200 –> 00:54:49,920
little more

1333
00:54:50,839 –> 00:54:56,880
tempting

1334
00:54:52,319 –> 00:55:00,160
powerful i’m so glad even you

1335
00:54:56,880 –> 00:55:07,839
could resist the temptation

1336
00:55:00,160 –> 00:55:07,839
of pointing back

1337
00:55:11,839 –> 00:55:21,839
it made it so much easier

1338
00:55:15,280 –> 00:55:21,839
for me to take hold of your body

1339
00:55:31,359 –> 00:55:36,000
yeah you can laugh all you want but at

1340
00:55:34,559 –> 00:55:49,839
the end of the day

1341
00:55:36,000 –> 00:55:49,839
you [ __ ] up buddy

1342
00:55:51,280 –> 00:55:57,839
i’m trapped in my mind 24 7.

1343
00:55:54,880 –> 00:55:59,520
there’s i mean i’m here now like this is

1344
00:55:57,839 –> 00:56:02,640
great to be able to actually

1345
00:55:59,520 –> 00:56:04,480
see what’s in here and recognize

1346
00:56:02,640 –> 00:56:07,359
that there really isn’t anything to be

1347
00:56:04,480 –> 00:56:10,240
afraid of including you

1348
00:56:07,359 –> 00:56:13,359
and if there’s one thing i know even if

1349
00:56:10,240 –> 00:56:15,760
my teammates have to kill me

1350
00:56:13,359 –> 00:56:17,359
they’re gonna take your dumb ass down

1351
00:56:15,760 –> 00:56:20,799
and my suffering will be

1352
00:56:17,359 –> 00:56:25,839
over so yeah

1353
00:56:20,799 –> 00:56:25,839
take the body asmodius go for it

1354
00:56:25,920 –> 00:56:30,240
but you [ __ ] up here bud you’re not

1355
00:56:29,119 –> 00:56:33,839
gonna last long

1356
00:56:30,240 –> 00:56:35,920
out there well i’m glad you have such

1357
00:56:33,839 –> 00:56:37,839
faith in your friends to do the normal

1358
00:56:35,920 –> 00:56:41,680
thing

1359
00:56:37,839 –> 00:56:44,960
i on the other hand feel like there is

1360
00:56:41,680 –> 00:56:44,960
little bit too many

1361
00:56:49,520 –> 00:56:56,480
and two more flames appear

1362
00:56:52,559 –> 00:57:00,720
and from them you see the figures

1363
00:56:56,480 –> 00:57:00,720
of your grandparents emerge

1364
00:57:01,119 –> 00:57:05,839
safe it is still your turn what do you

1365
00:57:04,400 –> 00:57:12,640
do

1366
00:57:05,839 –> 00:57:16,960
oh look my darling grandparents

1367
00:57:12,640 –> 00:57:20,640
sure has been a minute since i um

1368
00:57:16,960 –> 00:57:24,799
decapitated you both off pray

1369
00:57:20,640 –> 00:57:26,160
victory one for which we shall now rob

1370
00:57:24,799 –> 00:57:29,760
of you

1371
00:57:26,160 –> 00:57:30,720
you have what belongs to us and we will

1372
00:57:29,760 –> 00:57:34,270
claim it

1373
00:57:30,720 –> 00:57:38,720
back fate

1374
00:57:34,270 –> 00:57:41,760
[Laughter]

1375
00:57:38,720 –> 00:57:47,119
if you think that i am still fate

1376
00:57:41,760 –> 00:57:51,839
youngblood there’s a lot

1377
00:57:47,119 –> 00:57:51,839
that you’re gonna learn today old man

1378
00:57:52,160 –> 00:58:00,240
and uh safe is going to

1379
00:57:57,119 –> 00:58:03,640
draw her crossbow

1380
00:58:00,240 –> 00:58:05,520
and fire on her grandfather with a

1381
00:58:03,640 –> 00:58:10,720
paralysis

1382
00:58:05,520 –> 00:58:10,720
shot okay and

1383
00:58:11,119 –> 00:58:15,040
um okay no i don’t want to waste that

1384
00:58:13,440 –> 00:58:17,280
right now so i am gonna do

1385
00:58:15,040 –> 00:58:18,720
just a paralysis shot i was gonna call a

1386
00:58:17,280 –> 00:58:20,720
shot but i feel like if i’m gonna use a

1387
00:58:18,720 –> 00:58:21,680
paralysis shot then i might as well just

1388
00:58:20,720 –> 00:58:23,839
go ahead and do it

1389
00:58:21,680 –> 00:58:26,000
oh that’s fast fair go ahead and roll a

1390
00:58:23,839 –> 00:58:26,000
hit

1391
00:58:26,030 –> 00:58:34,559
[Laughter]

1392
00:58:31,680 –> 00:58:36,079
there’s no way there’s no [ __ ] way

1393
00:58:34,559 –> 00:58:39,760
there’s no [ __ ] way

1394
00:58:36,079 –> 00:58:40,480
i cannot what’d you get i say as if i

1395
00:58:39,760 –> 00:58:42,160
don’t know

1396
00:58:40,480 –> 00:58:43,599
well it’s not a critical one i could

1397
00:58:42,160 –> 00:58:46,799
tell you that

1398
00:58:43,599 –> 00:58:49,680
oh it’s too cool nope nope

1399
00:58:46,799 –> 00:58:51,839
nope that was the natural 20. okay yeah

1400
00:58:49,680 –> 00:58:54,880
believe it or not that does in fact hit

1401
00:58:51,839 –> 00:58:56,960
okay go ahead and roll the damage all

1402
00:58:54,880 –> 00:59:00,559
right so that would be

1403
00:58:56,960 –> 00:59:02,480
i am assuming you are um using your uh

1404
00:59:00,559 –> 00:59:05,200
stationary ability to gain advantage on

1405
00:59:02,480 –> 00:59:05,200
the shot busting

1406
00:59:05,760 –> 00:59:09,920
all right so go ahead and apply uh the

1407
00:59:08,559 –> 00:59:15,200
standard the sneak attack

1408
00:59:09,920 –> 00:59:15,200
and the lightning damage okay

1409
00:59:15,359 –> 00:59:19,839
standard uh keep the lightning damage

1410
00:59:18,720 –> 00:59:23,200
separate though

1411
00:59:19,839 –> 00:59:24,160
okay 10 piercing damage 10 lightning

1412
00:59:23,200 –> 00:59:28,319
damage

1413
00:59:24,160 –> 00:59:33,119
15 for the sneak attack okay

1414
00:59:28,319 –> 00:59:36,160
i believe that would be 52 base damage

1415
00:59:33,119 –> 00:59:36,400
before the extra 20 gets thrown on for

1416
00:59:36,160 –> 00:59:40,720
the

1417
00:59:36,400 –> 00:59:43,760
paralysis yep cool

1418
00:59:40,720 –> 00:59:48,720
back in the feywild

1419
00:59:43,760 –> 00:59:53,520
you will see the safe devil

1420
00:59:48,720 –> 00:59:57,040
turn her eyes towards arlo

1421
00:59:53,520 –> 01:00:01,119
as she pulls out a giant

1422
00:59:57,040 –> 01:00:04,240
infernal crossbow oh god

1423
01:00:01,119 –> 01:00:05,280
and shoots it right at him arlo roll me

1424
01:00:04,240 –> 01:00:07,280
a con save

1425
01:00:05,280 –> 01:00:08,480
for the critical hit katie just landed

1426
01:00:07,280 –> 01:00:11,680
on you

1427
01:00:08,480 –> 01:00:12,960
holy [ __ ] oh man that’s only gonna be a

1428
01:00:11,680 –> 01:00:15,200
22.

1429
01:00:12,960 –> 01:00:16,799
okay cool so you survive that you still

1430
01:00:15,200 –> 01:00:20,079
take 52

1431
01:00:16,799 –> 01:00:22,880
points of damage oh

1432
01:00:20,079 –> 01:00:22,880
sorry bud

1433
01:00:25,599 –> 01:00:31,200
what the [ __ ]

1434
01:00:29,680 –> 01:00:34,960
is there anything else you’d like to do

1435
01:00:31,200 –> 01:00:38,559
same boy

1436
01:00:34,960 –> 01:00:42,000
no i think i think uh that that’s uh

1437
01:00:38,559 –> 01:00:44,640
okay so as you within your own mind fire

1438
01:00:42,000 –> 01:00:45,280
this bolt at your grandfather it strikes

1439
01:00:44,640 –> 01:00:48,480
him and

1440
01:00:45,280 –> 01:00:51,599
he reels in pain from this

1441
01:00:48,480 –> 01:00:52,400
extremely well placed shot he’s able to

1442
01:00:51,599 –> 01:00:54,720
resist

1443
01:00:52,400 –> 01:00:56,240
the paralysis of it and doesn’t take any

1444
01:00:54,720 –> 01:00:59,599
of the lightning damage

1445
01:00:56,240 –> 01:01:03,119
however he is still in agonizing pain

1446
01:00:59,599 –> 01:01:06,880
and that is all that you perceive

1447
01:01:03,119 –> 01:01:09,200
fair enough when tara you’re up

1448
01:01:06,880 –> 01:01:10,160
when tara was crouched and ready to

1449
01:01:09,200 –> 01:01:12,000
fight this girl

1450
01:01:10,160 –> 01:01:14,640
and she sees out of the corner of her

1451
01:01:12,000 –> 01:01:16,480
eye this shock it fired at arlo

1452
01:01:14,640 –> 01:01:18,079
and she immediately snaps around she’s

1453
01:01:16,480 –> 01:01:21,440
just like what

1454
01:01:18,079 –> 01:01:24,240
the ever loving trees are you

1455
01:01:21,440 –> 01:01:26,000
doing safe for the record safe does not

1456
01:01:24,240 –> 01:01:27,760
look like she normally does she looks

1457
01:01:26,000 –> 01:01:30,160
like a pit fiend

1458
01:01:27,760 –> 01:01:32,640
she she kind of falters at the end as

1459
01:01:30,160 –> 01:01:34,720
she realizes that this is obviously no

1460
01:01:32,640 –> 01:01:38,400
longer regular safe

1461
01:01:34,720 –> 01:01:42,240
and i’m gonna go ahead and do

1462
01:01:38,400 –> 01:01:46,160
what i was planning on doing initially

1463
01:01:42,240 –> 01:01:49,680
which was summoning uh a conjure animals

1464
01:01:46,160 –> 01:01:51,680
at fifth level two jock birds and two

1465
01:01:49,680 –> 01:01:54,079
birdies

1466
01:01:51,680 –> 01:01:55,440
excellent you get to uh bust this one

1467
01:01:54,079 –> 01:01:59,680
out yes

1468
01:01:55,440 –> 01:02:02,640
i do so when tara

1469
01:01:59,680 –> 01:02:03,280
as she’s asking what are you doing is

1470
01:02:02,640 –> 01:02:05,760
doing her

1471
01:02:03,280 –> 01:02:07,440
bird hand gesture and she’s just like

1472
01:02:05,760 –> 01:02:10,799
jock bird birdie

1473
01:02:07,440 –> 01:02:12,640
different plan is your bird hand gesture

1474
01:02:10,799 –> 01:02:16,400
just like a bird shadow puppet

1475
01:02:12,640 –> 01:02:17,599
yeah pretty much wonderful

1476
01:02:16,400 –> 01:02:19,200
yeah it’s just like they’re seeing a

1477
01:02:17,599 –> 01:02:21,200
napoleon dynamite where they’re putting

1478
01:02:19,200 –> 01:02:24,640
their hands together to make the bird

1479
01:02:21,200 –> 01:02:25,359
just like signals that way pretty much

1480
01:02:24,640 –> 01:02:27,520
yeah

1481
01:02:25,359 –> 01:02:29,119
so she summons them and she looks over

1482
01:02:27,520 –> 01:02:31,839
at the two jock birds and

1483
01:02:29,119 –> 01:02:32,319
she’s just like i need both of you to

1484
01:02:31,839 –> 01:02:35,680
stop

1485
01:02:32,319 –> 01:02:36,400
her and keep her from hurting mainly

1486
01:02:35,680 –> 01:02:38,000
those two

1487
01:02:36,400 –> 01:02:40,480
and she points over gestures towards

1488
01:02:38,000 –> 01:02:43,599
bookworm and uh arlo

1489
01:02:40,480 –> 01:02:45,440
after she saw arlo get shot

1490
01:02:43,599 –> 01:02:47,280
and then she looks over at birdie the

1491
01:02:45,440 –> 01:02:48,319
birdies and she’s gonna have them go be

1492
01:02:47,280 –> 01:02:50,640
shields

1493
01:02:48,319 –> 01:02:52,160
yeah so the jock birds are going to

1494
01:02:50,640 –> 01:02:55,440
attack

1495
01:02:52,160 –> 01:02:56,559
is it against safe’s normal ac i don’t

1496
01:02:55,440 –> 01:02:57,920
know roll it

1497
01:02:56,559 –> 01:03:00,960
actually this one although i am being

1498
01:02:57,920 –> 01:03:04,240
coy yes it’s everyone’s stats

1499
01:03:00,960 –> 01:03:07,039
okay uh does 18 hit save it does

1500
01:03:04,240 –> 01:03:08,240
okay i may have all your stuff pulled up

1501
01:03:07,039 –> 01:03:10,400
just because i thought this might last a

1502
01:03:08,240 –> 01:03:14,079
little longer

1503
01:03:10,400 –> 01:03:16,880
so she takes on the first hit uh

1504
01:03:14,079 –> 01:03:17,680
six magical piercing and i know that’s

1505
01:03:16,880 –> 01:03:21,280
gonna hit

1506
01:03:17,680 –> 01:03:25,359
and then a 10 magical slashing and then

1507
01:03:21,280 –> 01:03:26,960
the second jumper gets a nat 20 on the

1508
01:03:25,359 –> 01:03:30,160
first attack

1509
01:03:26,960 –> 01:03:33,200
good yes so that was the beak attack

1510
01:03:30,160 –> 01:03:35,119
which is this one’s especially looking

1511
01:03:33,200 –> 01:03:37,520
ripped today

1512
01:03:35,119 –> 01:03:39,200
so it does 20 damage on that first beak

1513
01:03:37,520 –> 01:03:42,880
attack

1514
01:03:39,200 –> 01:03:44,000
and then it gets a i don’t think a 15 is

1515
01:03:42,880 –> 01:03:46,640
gonna hit

1516
01:03:44,000 –> 01:03:48,000
no her ac is higher than that so it

1517
01:03:46,640 –> 01:03:51,359
misses on the talon attack because it’s

1518
01:03:48,000 –> 01:03:51,359
too invested in beaking her

1519
01:03:51,599 –> 01:03:57,280
and then the birdies

1520
01:03:55,039 –> 01:03:58,400
are over there and they’re protecting

1521
01:03:57,280 –> 01:04:01,119
arlo and

1522
01:03:58,400 –> 01:04:01,599
bookworm and they are actually over

1523
01:04:01,119 –> 01:04:06,799
there

1524
01:04:01,599 –> 01:04:06,799
going birdie birdie birdy birdie

1525
01:04:07,839 –> 01:04:12,240
and they’re using their leadership

1526
01:04:09,119 –> 01:04:13,680
ability for both of them

1527
01:04:12,240 –> 01:04:15,200
cool uh do you want to go ahead and read

1528
01:04:13,680 –> 01:04:15,680
that one out loud so they know what that

1529
01:04:15,200 –> 01:04:17,760
is

1530
01:04:15,680 –> 01:04:19,200
yeah so they’re uttering their special

1531
01:04:17,760 –> 01:04:21,280
warning whenever

1532
01:04:19,200 –> 01:04:22,960
a hostile creature within 30 feet of it

1533
01:04:21,280 –> 01:04:24,319
makes or a non-hostile creature that it

1534
01:04:22,960 –> 01:04:24,799
can see within 30 feet of it makes an

1535
01:04:24,319 –> 01:04:27,200
attacker

1536
01:04:24,799 –> 01:04:28,799
or a saving roll you can add a d4 to

1537
01:04:27,200 –> 01:04:30,079
your roll provided that you can hear

1538
01:04:28,799 –> 01:04:33,280
birdie

1539
01:04:30,079 –> 01:04:35,680
okay is that going to be it for you

1540
01:04:33,280 –> 01:04:36,799
no this time she actually is going to

1541
01:04:35,680 –> 01:04:40,480
summon her spirit

1542
01:04:36,799 –> 01:04:42,640
wolf and it is going to appear

1543
01:04:40,480 –> 01:04:43,599
and the difference between the wolf

1544
01:04:42,640 –> 01:04:46,559
spirit totem

1545
01:04:43,599 –> 01:04:47,280
is that anytime i do healing creatures

1546
01:04:46,559 –> 01:04:49,520
you get more

1547
01:04:47,280 –> 01:04:52,839
healing but also you get advantage to

1548
01:04:49,520 –> 01:04:56,160
detect creatures in my magic zone

1549
01:04:52,839 –> 01:04:59,520
nice so that is

1550
01:04:56,160 –> 01:05:03,599
my turn okay safe

1551
01:04:59,520 –> 01:05:06,640
from your perception you see

1552
01:05:03,599 –> 01:05:09,119
asmodeus summons four

1553
01:05:06,640 –> 01:05:09,839
imp like creatures two of which appear

1554
01:05:09,119 –> 01:05:12,480
to be far

1555
01:05:09,839 –> 01:05:14,559
stronger than the others the two smaller

1556
01:05:12,480 –> 01:05:16,720
ones go off to protect

1557
01:05:14,559 –> 01:05:18,240
your grandparents while the two larger

1558
01:05:16,720 –> 01:05:22,160
ones go up and they

1559
01:05:18,240 –> 01:05:22,960
attack you relentlessly okay back

1560
01:05:22,160 –> 01:05:26,000
outside

1561
01:05:22,960 –> 01:05:28,720
in the feyworld it is bookworm’s turn

1562
01:05:26,000 –> 01:05:29,599
she is going to immediately rush over to

1563
01:05:28,720 –> 01:05:32,400
arlo

1564
01:05:29,599 –> 01:05:33,599
and begin to cast a healing spell on you

1565
01:05:32,400 –> 01:05:35,359
arlo you regain

1566
01:05:33,599 –> 01:05:37,119
10 hit points and also make me a

1567
01:05:35,359 –> 01:05:41,119
perception jack

1568
01:05:37,119 –> 01:05:42,000
six okay you take you get 10 hit points

1569
01:05:41,119 –> 01:05:45,599
back

1570
01:05:42,000 –> 01:05:47,440
yeah and nothing else

1571
01:05:45,599 –> 01:05:49,520
boy i sure feel like there might have

1572
01:05:47,440 –> 01:05:50,720
been some additional like information

1573
01:05:49,520 –> 01:05:53,359
layered into that but

1574
01:05:50,720 –> 01:05:54,799
i have caught none of that bookworm

1575
01:05:53,359 –> 01:05:57,440
shrugs as she does not know what you

1576
01:05:54,799 –> 01:05:59,599
were talking about

1577
01:05:57,440 –> 01:06:00,960
saith what you perceive is your

1578
01:05:59,599 –> 01:06:04,880
grandmother going over

1579
01:06:00,960 –> 01:06:06,640
and healing your grandfather fair enough

1580
01:06:04,880 –> 01:06:08,559
back up to the top of the order arlo

1581
01:06:06,640 –> 01:06:11,920
you’re up

1582
01:06:08,559 –> 01:06:14,319
arlo like charges his holy symbol

1583
01:06:11,920 –> 01:06:17,119
with the light of bahamut and like looks

1584
01:06:14,319 –> 01:06:20,240
at the pit fiend safe but still

1585
01:06:17,119 –> 01:06:21,200
sees her face and he knows what he was

1586
01:06:20,240 –> 01:06:24,240
taught in like

1587
01:06:21,200 –> 01:06:26,319
military and in cleric school that when

1588
01:06:24,240 –> 01:06:28,480
someone is possessed by a demon

1589
01:06:26,319 –> 01:06:29,520
that no question you have to take them

1590
01:06:28,480 –> 01:06:31,200
out

1591
01:06:29,520 –> 01:06:32,880
that’s what you have to do that’s

1592
01:06:31,200 –> 01:06:36,319
protocol

1593
01:06:32,880 –> 01:06:37,839
but he remembers just everything he

1594
01:06:36,319 –> 01:06:39,119
remembers like say hanging upside down

1595
01:06:37,839 –> 01:06:40,960
from the tree he remembers

1596
01:06:39,119 –> 01:06:42,799
sharing vials of whiskey with safe just

1597
01:06:40,960 –> 01:06:44,480
kind of trying to relax

1598
01:06:42,799 –> 01:06:46,319
um he remembers like them all like

1599
01:06:44,480 –> 01:06:48,000
sharing their room together and like

1600
01:06:46,319 –> 01:06:49,599
sharing their backstories and such and

1601
01:06:48,000 –> 01:06:53,119
he remembers say

1602
01:06:49,599 –> 01:06:54,720
making the sacrifice of uh

1603
01:06:53,119 –> 01:06:56,160
essentially a wish that could bring back

1604
01:06:54,720 –> 01:06:59,599
her most loved person

1605
01:06:56,160 –> 01:07:01,599
to help their friend wintera and like he

1606
01:06:59,599 –> 01:07:03,520
has the arcane energy or not the arcane

1607
01:07:01,599 –> 01:07:06,640
but he has like the whole energy

1608
01:07:03,520 –> 01:07:10,799
um charged and he has it aimed

1609
01:07:06,640 –> 01:07:12,720
at safe and he just can’t

1610
01:07:10,799 –> 01:07:14,000
and so instead he aims it down at the

1611
01:07:12,720 –> 01:07:17,760
ground and

1612
01:07:14,000 –> 01:07:19,920
he casts magic circle around said

1613
01:07:17,760 –> 01:07:21,119
what does magic circle do i feel like i

1614
01:07:19,920 –> 01:07:23,039
know what it does

1615
01:07:21,119 –> 01:07:24,400
on a bass level and if it if i’m even

1616
01:07:23,039 –> 01:07:25,839
remotely right this is going to be very

1617
01:07:24,400 –> 01:07:28,000
interesting

1618
01:07:25,839 –> 01:07:29,440
all right so i’m going to read the like

1619
01:07:28,000 –> 01:07:30,400
the basic version of it and i’m going to

1620
01:07:29,440 –> 01:07:32,640
read like the

1621
01:07:30,400 –> 01:07:33,760
the way i am using it because it is

1622
01:07:32,640 –> 01:07:35,520
allowed that way

1623
01:07:33,760 –> 01:07:37,839
okay fine go ahead all right so you

1624
01:07:35,520 –> 01:07:39,760
create a 10 foot radius 20 foot tall

1625
01:07:37,839 –> 01:07:42,160
cylinder of magical energy

1626
01:07:39,760 –> 01:07:44,000
center on a point on the ground that you

1627
01:07:42,160 –> 01:07:44,480
can see within range glowing runes

1628
01:07:44,000 –> 01:07:45,839
appear

1629
01:07:44,480 –> 01:07:49,119
wherever the surface intersects the

1630
01:07:45,839 –> 01:07:50,720
floor or other surface

1631
01:07:49,119 –> 01:07:52,240
when you cast a spell you can elect to

1632
01:07:50,720 –> 01:07:53,280
cause this magic to operate in the

1633
01:07:52,240 –> 01:07:55,119
reverse direction

1634
01:07:53,280 –> 01:07:57,359
preventing the creature of the specified

1635
01:07:55,119 –> 01:07:59,280
type from leaving the cylinder

1636
01:07:57,359 –> 01:08:00,640
and protecting targets outside of what

1637
01:07:59,280 –> 01:08:02,240
i’m doing

1638
01:08:00,640 –> 01:08:04,640
okay that is not the spell i thought it

1639
01:08:02,240 –> 01:08:06,720
was but that is still very interesting

1640
01:08:04,640 –> 01:08:08,640
so the creature can’t willingly and um

1641
01:08:06,720 –> 01:08:11,200
enter or in this case exit

1642
01:08:08,640 –> 01:08:12,880
the cylinder by non-magical means if the

1643
01:08:11,200 –> 01:08:14,559
creature tries to use teleportation or

1644
01:08:12,880 –> 01:08:16,239
inter-planar travel to do so

1645
01:08:14,559 –> 01:08:18,000
it must first succeed on a charisma

1646
01:08:16,239 –> 01:08:19,520
savings room the creature has

1647
01:08:18,000 –> 01:08:20,799
disadvantage on attack rolls against

1648
01:08:19,520 –> 01:08:22,560
targets within the cylinder there’s no

1649
01:08:20,799 –> 01:08:24,719
one in the cylinder

1650
01:08:22,560 –> 01:08:27,279
the target within the cylinder can’t be

1651
01:08:24,719 –> 01:08:29,199
charmed or i guess without the cylinder

1652
01:08:27,279 –> 01:08:30,799
can’t be charmed frightened or possessed

1653
01:08:29,199 –> 01:08:32,719
by the creature

1654
01:08:30,799 –> 01:08:35,120
dang if only i had given her some means

1655
01:08:32,719 –> 01:08:37,839
of interplanetary travel

1656
01:08:35,120 –> 01:08:39,520
that’s my savings bro no i’m well i

1657
01:08:37,839 –> 01:08:41,759
don’t control her

1658
01:08:39,520 –> 01:08:45,120
thank you for putting me in that barrier

1659
01:08:41,759 –> 01:08:47,600
good sir i do not wish to harm you

1660
01:08:45,120 –> 01:08:48,480
but i don’t really have a choice saith

1661
01:08:47,600 –> 01:08:51,279
may not agree

1662
01:08:48,480 –> 01:08:52,159
since by her perception that was her

1663
01:08:51,279 –> 01:08:55,520
grandfather

1664
01:08:52,159 –> 01:08:57,199
that did it that’s fair it’s a big old

1665
01:08:55,520 –> 01:08:59,440
bear it says [ __ ] you it killed your

1666
01:08:57,199 –> 01:09:01,920
parents

1667
01:08:59,440 –> 01:09:04,480
and also a giant drug of a penis on it

1668
01:09:01,920 –> 01:09:06,319
yeah that’s definitely what

1669
01:09:04,480 –> 01:09:07,839
a devil-worshiping cult would put on

1670
01:09:06,319 –> 01:09:10,239
their magic barrier

1671
01:09:07,839 –> 01:09:10,880
i mean you feel like imagery you know

1672
01:09:10,239 –> 01:09:14,000
what i’m

1673
01:09:10,880 –> 01:09:15,920
i’m i’m controlling the uh illusory

1674
01:09:14,000 –> 01:09:18,839
images of them to some degree so yeah i

1675
01:09:15,920 –> 01:09:21,520
do and that’s absolutely not what safe

1676
01:09:18,839 –> 01:09:24,239
perceives saved by your perception it is

1677
01:09:21,520 –> 01:09:27,759
far more demonic you see

1678
01:09:24,239 –> 01:09:31,920
black and blue stone

1679
01:09:27,759 –> 01:09:33,839
crystals emerge as a blue flame

1680
01:09:31,920 –> 01:09:36,239
wreaths around you and that is how you

1681
01:09:33,839 –> 01:09:39,520
perceive the barrier as

1682
01:09:36,239 –> 01:09:40,799
your grandfather says you need to stay

1683
01:09:39,520 –> 01:09:44,159
where you are

1684
01:09:40,799 –> 01:09:46,159
while we get rid of you you couldn’t get

1685
01:09:44,159 –> 01:09:48,159
rid of me 30 years ago you’re not gonna

1686
01:09:46,159 –> 01:09:51,600
get rid of me now

1687
01:09:48,159 –> 01:09:55,760
i’m stronger than i was then

1688
01:09:51,600 –> 01:10:00,880
and just as ugly it is now your turn

1689
01:09:55,760 –> 01:10:01,600
can i roll a perception check to see if

1690
01:10:00,880 –> 01:10:04,000
there’s anything

1691
01:10:01,600 –> 01:10:05,840
fishy with what’s going on around me

1692
01:10:04,000 –> 01:10:07,440
i’ll say insight that’s that’s more the

1693
01:10:05,840 –> 01:10:10,239
applicable stat

1694
01:10:07,440 –> 01:10:12,159
that’s the stat sorry no it’s okay i

1695
01:10:10,239 –> 01:10:13,760
just i have a plus nine to perception

1696
01:10:12,159 –> 01:10:14,960
no i know i have your stats pulled up in

1697
01:10:13,760 –> 01:10:16,159
front of me i have all y’all stats

1698
01:10:14,960 –> 01:10:16,480
pulled up before because again i thought

1699
01:10:16,159 –> 01:10:18,880
my

1700
01:10:16,480 –> 01:10:21,199
grooves would last a little longer it’s

1701
01:10:18,880 –> 01:10:23,199
only a nine that’s not gonna work

1702
01:10:21,199 –> 01:10:25,120
nope as far as you know azmodius has

1703
01:10:23,199 –> 01:10:26,880
just entered your mind and has brought

1704
01:10:25,120 –> 01:10:27,840
about your grandparents in order to help

1705
01:10:26,880 –> 01:10:29,440
erase you

1706
01:10:27,840 –> 01:10:32,000
from your own mind allowing him to

1707
01:10:29,440 –> 01:10:34,080
solidify his hold on your body

1708
01:10:32,000 –> 01:10:36,480
which he openly stated before so no new

1709
01:10:34,080 –> 01:10:37,840
info all right um so i’m gonna use my

1710
01:10:36,480 –> 01:10:40,800
ring of the ram

1711
01:10:37,840 –> 01:10:42,400
on um my quote unquote grandmother to

1712
01:10:40,800 –> 01:10:48,080
push her away from

1713
01:10:42,400 –> 01:10:50,080
my grandfather read me the language of

1714
01:10:48,080 –> 01:10:51,760
you can use an action to expend one of

1715
01:10:50,080 –> 01:10:54,159
three charges to attack

1716
01:10:51,760 –> 01:10:55,199
one creature you can see within 60 feet

1717
01:10:54,159 –> 01:10:59,040
of you

1718
01:10:55,199 –> 01:11:02,080
the ring produces a spectral ram’s head

1719
01:10:59,040 –> 01:11:04,400
and makes it uh makes an attack roll

1720
01:11:02,080 –> 01:11:06,080
with a plus seven bonus

1721
01:11:04,400 –> 01:11:08,400
on a hip five feet away from you

1722
01:11:06,080 –> 01:11:11,520
alternatively you can expend

1723
01:11:08,400 –> 01:11:13,600
uh one two three of the rings charges as

1724
01:11:11,520 –> 01:11:15,440
an action to try to break an object you

1725
01:11:13,600 –> 01:11:18,239
can see within 60 feet

1726
01:11:15,440 –> 01:11:20,239
of you that isn’t being worn or carried

1727
01:11:18,239 –> 01:11:22,320
the ring makes a strength check with a

1728
01:11:20,239 –> 01:11:23,520
plus 5 bonus for each charge that you

1729
01:11:22,320 –> 01:11:25,920
spend

1730
01:11:23,520 –> 01:11:29,120
is a ram able to leave the circle yeah

1731
01:11:25,920 –> 01:11:31,360
that’s what i was trying to figure out

1732
01:11:29,120 –> 01:11:32,239
it’s a spectral ram’s head so it’s like

1733
01:11:31,360 –> 01:11:35,199
a ghost

1734
01:11:32,239 –> 01:11:36,239
no no i i realize i’m just trying to

1735
01:11:35,199 –> 01:11:37,600
make sure i do this

1736
01:11:36,239 –> 01:11:39,040
fairly i’m trying to make sure i do this

1737
01:11:37,600 –> 01:11:40,320
as fairly as possible because i don’t

1738
01:11:39,040 –> 01:11:42,480
just want to ignore

1739
01:11:40,320 –> 01:11:43,840
the circle which is a very good move

1740
01:11:42,480 –> 01:11:44,960
thank you

1741
01:11:43,840 –> 01:11:47,360
so you said you’re using the first

1742
01:11:44,960 –> 01:11:50,480
option just in reverse right yes

1743
01:11:47,360 –> 01:11:50,880
i was talking to drew oh yes well i mean

1744
01:11:50,480 –> 01:11:52,480
no

1745
01:11:50,880 –> 01:11:54,400
the the options aren’t options they’re

1746
01:11:52,480 –> 01:11:56,960
all stipulations of the circle

1747
01:11:54,400 –> 01:11:57,760
oh they all okay i’m sorry it’s just

1748
01:11:56,960 –> 01:12:00,239
reversed

1749
01:11:57,760 –> 01:12:02,800
like instead of it being like you can’t

1750
01:12:00,239 –> 01:12:05,920
um get us inside this circle you can’t

1751
01:12:02,800 –> 01:12:08,880
[ __ ] it with us outside of the circle

1752
01:12:05,920 –> 01:12:10,320
for all those options wait a second if

1753
01:12:08,880 –> 01:12:12,000
so this would

1754
01:12:10,320 –> 01:12:14,640
it looks like by the rules of it should

1755
01:12:12,000 –> 01:12:18,000
have disadvantage on that attack roll

1756
01:12:14,640 –> 01:12:21,440
i’m cool going outside of the cylinder

1757
01:12:18,000 –> 01:12:23,199
real quick i have also noticed

1758
01:12:21,440 –> 01:12:24,719
one other thing about it that i feel

1759
01:12:23,199 –> 01:12:26,719
like drew you

1760
01:12:24,719 –> 01:12:28,000
immediately went over and you super

1761
01:12:26,719 –> 01:12:31,040
should not have because it’s

1762
01:12:28,000 –> 01:12:32,719
hella important what the last

1763
01:12:31,040 –> 01:12:34,560
stipulation targets within the cylinder

1764
01:12:32,719 –> 01:12:36,080
can’t be charmed frightened or possessed

1765
01:12:34,560 –> 01:12:37,440
by the creature and you choose one of

1766
01:12:36,080 –> 01:12:40,239
the specific kinds

1767
01:12:37,440 –> 01:12:41,679
of which fiends is one well it says one

1768
01:12:40,239 –> 01:12:43,440
or more

1769
01:12:41,679 –> 01:12:45,360
of the creatures it doesn’t give you and

1770
01:12:43,440 –> 01:12:47,040
it doesn’t say how you pick however many

1771
01:12:45,360 –> 01:12:49,920
of those there are

1772
01:12:47,040 –> 01:12:51,600
here’s how i will elect to do this

1773
01:12:49,920 –> 01:12:53,520
because i think this is really tasty and

1774
01:12:51,600 –> 01:12:55,040
i like this

1775
01:12:53,520 –> 01:12:57,440
you may do the attack it will still have

1776
01:12:55,040 –> 01:12:59,040
disadvantage however once you

1777
01:12:57,440 –> 01:13:00,960
you have to make contact with the

1778
01:12:59,040 –> 01:13:01,520
barrier in order to go like get the

1779
01:13:00,960 –> 01:13:04,159
attack

1780
01:13:01,520 –> 01:13:05,920
through it okay just based on the way

1781
01:13:04,159 –> 01:13:09,600
the ring of the rain would work

1782
01:13:05,920 –> 01:13:10,560
so i will say you make a wisdom-saving

1783
01:13:09,600 –> 01:13:12,640
throw

1784
01:13:10,560 –> 01:13:13,760
as you do that to try and overcome the

1785
01:13:12,640 –> 01:13:18,239
possession

1786
01:13:13,760 –> 01:13:22,159
let’s see hey i helped thank you

1787
01:13:18,239 –> 01:13:24,480
buddy hamburger helper

1788
01:13:22,159 –> 01:13:26,000
it is not going to be an easy dc just

1789
01:13:24,480 –> 01:13:28,080
fair warning

1790
01:13:26,000 –> 01:13:29,360
no that’s totally fair and my wisdom’s

1791
01:13:28,080 –> 01:13:32,880
not my highest uh

1792
01:13:29,360 –> 01:13:35,679
stat modifier you’re the only one okay

1793
01:13:32,880 –> 01:13:37,679
okay but what if i rolled a 19 so it’s a

1794
01:13:35,679 –> 01:13:39,360
non-natural 20.

1795
01:13:37,679 –> 01:13:40,719
here here’s how we’re going because i

1796
01:13:39,360 –> 01:13:42,000
hadn’t gotten to this point yet i swear

1797
01:13:40,719 –> 01:13:42,560
i’m not just making this up out of like

1798
01:13:42,000 –> 01:13:44,640
soldiering

1799
01:13:42,560 –> 01:13:46,960
that i swear to god this is i was going

1800
01:13:44,640 –> 01:13:49,360
to say this regardless forever

1801
01:13:46,960 –> 01:13:51,040
i will treat instances like that like

1802
01:13:49,360 –> 01:13:52,800
death saving throws so

1803
01:13:51,040 –> 01:13:55,120
first like either successes or failure

1804
01:13:52,800 –> 01:13:58,480
so three and that one was a success

1805
01:13:55,120 –> 01:14:00,159
okay so you have one in there you are

1806
01:13:58,480 –> 01:14:03,199
starting to be able to push

1807
01:14:00,159 –> 01:14:04,159
back like it doesn’t impact the barriers

1808
01:14:03,199 –> 01:14:07,199
present

1809
01:14:04,159 –> 01:14:10,480
but you are still you you’re feeling

1810
01:14:07,199 –> 01:14:13,600
like you can you’re feeling some give

1811
01:14:10,480 –> 01:14:16,640
okay and as the visage of asmodeus

1812
01:14:13,600 –> 01:14:17,760
has a slight flinch like he felt it and

1813
01:14:16,640 –> 01:14:20,719
he did not like it

1814
01:14:17,760 –> 01:14:22,159
uh roy your attack with disadvantage can

1815
01:14:20,719 –> 01:14:25,280
i say like while we’re doing that

1816
01:14:22,159 –> 01:14:25,520
can we see anything that like might key

1817
01:14:25,280 –> 01:14:28,719
us

1818
01:14:25,520 –> 01:14:31,679
off to that on the outside i will say

1819
01:14:28,719 –> 01:14:33,920
all three of you roll me a perception

1820
01:14:31,679 –> 01:14:35,520
check to notice that

1821
01:14:33,920 –> 01:14:37,280
and by all three of you i mean you two

1822
01:14:35,520 –> 01:14:41,360
plus me

1823
01:14:37,280 –> 01:14:42,880

  1. yeah you notice i got a 14.

1824
01:14:41,360 –> 01:14:44,800
i will say because it’s only the first

1825
01:14:42,880 –> 01:14:45,520
one when tara is the only one who

1826
01:14:44,800 –> 01:14:48,239
noticed that

1827
01:14:45,520 –> 01:14:50,080
thus far you noticed a reaction when she

1828
01:14:48,239 –> 01:14:54,880
punched into the barrier like it

1829
01:14:50,080 –> 01:14:57,760
almost caused pain okay

1830
01:14:54,880 –> 01:14:58,880
anyway uh safe where’d you roll i rolled

1831
01:14:57,760 –> 01:15:00,159
a two

1832
01:14:58,880 –> 01:15:01,679
yeah i don’t really matter i was gonna

1833
01:15:00,159 –> 01:15:03,280
ask who you’re aiming at it misses

1834
01:15:01,679 –> 01:15:05,120
completely it misses

1835
01:15:03,280 –> 01:15:06,719
like with a two i will almost say it

1836
01:15:05,120 –> 01:15:09,600
like slams against

1837
01:15:06,719 –> 01:15:10,800
the wall and does not even break through

1838
01:15:09,600 –> 01:15:13,840
is that everything for you

1839
01:15:10,800 –> 01:15:17,679
yes okay

1840
01:15:13,840 –> 01:15:20,880
i believe that brings it back to wintera

1841
01:15:17,679 –> 01:15:23,840
okay noticing the pain

1842
01:15:20,880 –> 01:15:25,600
when she made contact with the wall i

1843
01:15:23,840 –> 01:15:27,600
want one of the jock birds to try to

1844
01:15:25,600 –> 01:15:29,520
slam her back into it

1845
01:15:27,600 –> 01:15:32,159
okay so she she tells one of the

1846
01:15:29,520 –> 01:15:35,679
droppers push her into the wall

1847
01:15:32,159 –> 01:15:38,159
and the other one can attack okay so

1848
01:15:35,679 –> 01:15:38,960
one of them will just roll standard the

1849
01:15:38,159 –> 01:15:42,400
other one

1850
01:15:38,960 –> 01:15:44,080
will make an opposed grapple check

1851
01:15:42,400 –> 01:15:45,520
uh which wait how do you want that to go

1852
01:15:44,080 –> 01:15:48,159
like what order

1853
01:15:45,520 –> 01:15:48,640
i’ll attack first and then the gravel

1854
01:15:48,159 –> 01:15:50,320
okay

1855
01:15:48,640 –> 01:15:52,159
if if you break a certain damage

1856
01:15:50,320 –> 01:15:53,679
threshold i will say that you can have

1857
01:15:52,159 –> 01:15:58,480
advantage on your string check

1858
01:15:53,679 –> 01:15:58,480
okay uh that one misses that one

1859
01:15:58,880 –> 01:16:04,719
wedge roll 18. that hits

1860
01:16:02,320 –> 01:16:06,640
okay so that was the second attack uh so

1861
01:16:04,719 –> 01:16:09,840
that was the 10 magical slashing

1862
01:16:06,640 –> 01:16:11,040
i will say that was not enough to have

1863
01:16:09,840 –> 01:16:14,960
advantage on the roll

1864
01:16:11,040 –> 01:16:19,040
i had set that to 15 damage uh so

1865
01:16:14,960 –> 01:16:22,400
uh go ahead and make a opposed

1866
01:16:19,040 –> 01:16:24,880
grapple check you roll strength

1867
01:16:22,400 –> 01:16:25,760
uh say if you roll strength or dexterity

1868
01:16:24,880 –> 01:16:28,880
whichever one

1869
01:16:25,760 –> 01:16:30,880
is higher i don’t think that’s going to

1870
01:16:28,880 –> 01:16:33,360
matter

1871
01:16:30,880 –> 01:16:35,730
oh i don’t think that’s better it’s not

1872
01:16:33,360 –> 01:16:37,360
going to matter

1873
01:16:35,730 –> 01:16:39,199
[Music]

1874
01:16:37,360 –> 01:16:40,640
is a stronger jock bird and it got an

1875
01:16:39,199 –> 01:16:42,880
actual plotty

1876
01:16:40,640 –> 01:16:44,560
i’m sorry so for those of you listening

1877
01:16:42,880 –> 01:16:51,120
at home

1878
01:16:44,560 –> 01:16:51,120
the rule is jockbird always wins

1879
01:16:51,679 –> 01:16:56,080
and the actual rule is that ties do go

1880
01:16:54,400 –> 01:16:56,560
to attackers so no matter what safe

1881
01:16:56,080 –> 01:16:59,840
roles

1882
01:16:56,560 –> 01:17:03,280
it will take so yeah you are able

1883
01:16:59,840 –> 01:17:05,280
to push saith into the wall saith roll

1884
01:17:03,280 –> 01:17:08,239
me another wisdom-saving throw

1885
01:17:05,280 –> 01:17:10,239
with advantage actually i’d like to use

1886
01:17:08,239 –> 01:17:13,320
pendleton as a reaction

1887
01:17:10,239 –> 01:17:15,600
okay oh okay

1888
01:17:13,320 –> 01:17:17,040
[Music]

1889
01:17:15,600 –> 01:17:18,450
thank you for the advantage because i

1890
01:17:17,040 –> 01:17:22,080
just rolled the natural 20.

1891
01:17:18,450 –> 01:17:25,199
[Laughter]

1892
01:17:22,080 –> 01:17:30,239
as you do that you hear

1893
01:17:25,199 –> 01:17:30,239
pendleton in your head say you need that

1894
01:17:33,679 –> 01:17:40,560
and as you do that both of them do

1895
01:17:37,199 –> 01:17:43,920
and that is enough of a blunt force

1896
01:17:40,560 –> 01:17:46,560
save it breaks through to you and you

1897
01:17:43,920 –> 01:17:49,760
instantly realize what is going on

1898
01:17:46,560 –> 01:17:53,600
and with a blood curling scream you

1899
01:17:49,760 –> 01:17:59,840
break free and as modius vanishes

1900
01:17:53,600 –> 01:17:59,840
into flames as he fades he says

1901
01:18:16,159 –> 01:18:21,280
all right take a throat legend good

1902
01:18:18,640 –> 01:18:24,320
bahama lord almighty get

1903
01:18:21,280 –> 01:18:26,080
out of here i already done told you my

1904
01:18:24,320 –> 01:18:29,760
friends were gonna mess you the [ __ ]

1905
01:18:26,080 –> 01:18:33,360
up even if they had to kill me for it

1906
01:18:29,760 –> 01:18:35,440
you come back and we will abso [ __ ]

1907
01:18:33,360 –> 01:18:37,760
lutely defeat you

1908
01:18:35,440 –> 01:18:39,520
i’m not afraid of you as modius i never

1909
01:18:37,760 –> 01:18:42,960
was

1910
01:18:39,520 –> 01:18:47,040
as as modius fades with your

1911
01:18:42,960 –> 01:18:55,679
final declaration of defiance

1912
01:18:47,040 –> 01:18:58,719
he says

1913
01:18:55,679 –> 01:18:59,199
and with that from the outside you all

1914
01:18:58,719 –> 01:19:02,719
see

1915
01:18:59,199 –> 01:19:05,920
the blue flames once again engulf safe

1916
01:19:02,719 –> 01:19:09,360
and as the flames fade

1917
01:19:05,920 –> 01:19:13,440
she is back in her normal form and she

1918
01:19:09,360 –> 01:19:16,000
immediately collapses unconscious

1919
01:19:13,440 –> 01:19:17,199
can i roll to try to catch her how far

1920
01:19:16,000 –> 01:19:19,600
away are you

1921
01:19:17,199 –> 01:19:20,840
i don’t know i can’t be more than 10

1922
01:19:19,600 –> 01:19:22,239
feet away because i was doing the

1923
01:19:20,840 –> 01:19:25,840
barrier

1924
01:19:22,239 –> 01:19:28,400
back safe 19.

1925
01:19:25,840 –> 01:19:29,600
as she is about to collapse onto the

1926
01:19:28,400 –> 01:19:32,320
floor arlo

1927
01:19:29,600 –> 01:19:33,120
you scoop one arm in under her and

1928
01:19:32,320 –> 01:19:36,560
manage

1929
01:19:33,120 –> 01:19:40,960
to catch her that

1930
01:19:36,560 –> 01:19:40,960
is where we shall pause our tale for now

1931
01:19:45,520 –> 01:19:49,040
hello everyone jordan here we have a few

1932
01:19:48,000 –> 01:19:50,800
plugs shout out

1933
01:19:49,040 –> 01:19:52,719
as well as a few bloopers that didn’t

1934
01:19:50,800 –> 01:19:55,199
quite make it into the episode proper

1935
01:19:52,719 –> 01:19:56,480
so make sure you listen to the very end

1936
01:19:55,199 –> 01:19:59,679
if you want to support the show

1937
01:19:56,480 –> 01:20:01,600
follow us on our patreon at patreon.com

1938
01:19:59,679 –> 01:20:03,360
agents of damned we post all our

1939
01:20:01,600 –> 01:20:04,159
episodes there a whole week before they

1940
01:20:03,360 –> 01:20:06,239
hit itunes

1941
01:20:04,159 –> 01:20:07,280
spotify or any of the podcast platforms

1942
01:20:06,239 –> 01:20:09,440
you can find us on

1943
01:20:07,280 –> 01:20:10,639
we also have a special after show called

1944
01:20:09,440 –> 01:20:12,480
peek behind the screen

1945
01:20:10,639 –> 01:20:14,480
where we talk more in depth about the

1946
01:20:12,480 –> 01:20:16,080
episode what we think will happen next

1947
01:20:14,480 –> 01:20:18,080
or whatever the hell else we feel like

1948
01:20:16,080 –> 01:20:20,320
talking about you can also

1949
01:20:18,080 –> 01:20:21,280
find us on facebook and instagram at

1950
01:20:20,320 –> 01:20:24,080
agents of damned

1951
01:20:21,280 –> 01:20:25,440
and on twitter at agentsomd you can also

1952
01:20:24,080 –> 01:20:28,400
follow our personal twitters

1953
01:20:25,440 –> 01:20:28,960
me at pokechap christina greekachu and

1954
01:20:28,400 –> 01:20:33,040
katie

1955
01:20:28,960 –> 01:20:36,080
at missymystery myssy mystery

1956
01:20:33,040 –> 01:20:38,120
drew is not on twitter we also have a

1957
01:20:36,080 –> 01:20:40,280
website

1958
01:20:38,120 –> 01:20:42,480
agentsofdam.wordpress.com or

1959
01:20:40,280 –> 01:20:43,840
agentsoftdamp.com where you can also

1960
01:20:42,480 –> 01:20:45,840
find all our episodes

1961
01:20:43,840 –> 01:20:48,719
along with full transcriptions of each

1962
01:20:45,840 –> 01:20:50,719
episode and personal bios of the cast

1963
01:20:48,719 –> 01:20:51,920
additionally we also have merch now you

1964
01:20:50,719 –> 01:20:53,440
can find a wide selection of our

1965
01:20:51,920 –> 01:20:56,880
merchandise available over at t

1966
01:20:53,440 –> 01:20:58,880
public dot com slash user aod

1967
01:20:56,880 –> 01:21:00,320
or just follow the link on our website

1968
01:20:58,880 –> 01:21:02,159
if you want to talk to us or our

1969
01:21:00,320 –> 01:21:02,800
community at large we have a discord

1970
01:21:02,159 –> 01:21:06,560
server at

1971
01:21:02,800 –> 01:21:08,480
aod capital a lowercase o uppercase d

1972
01:21:06,560 –> 01:21:10,639
where you can chat discuss theories and

1973
01:21:08,480 –> 01:21:11,520
submit fan art and suggestions for the

1974
01:21:10,639 –> 01:21:14,480
show

1975
01:21:11,520 –> 01:21:16,639
we do ask that you keep it pg lest we

1976
01:21:14,480 –> 01:21:19,679
unleash our unholy wrath

1977
01:21:16,639 –> 01:21:22,480
upon you don’t forget to leave a review

1978
01:21:19,679 –> 01:21:24,960
and share the show with a friend until

1979
01:21:22,480 –> 01:21:24,960
next time

1980
01:21:26,840 –> 01:21:29,840
bye

1981
01:22:03,350 –> 01:22:08,630
[Music]

1982
01:22:10,080 –> 01:22:14,400
tabletop titties is a weekly tabletop

1983
01:22:12,159 –> 01:22:16,320
role-playing podcast run entirely by

1984
01:22:14,400 –> 01:22:19,040
people of marginalized genders

1985
01:22:16,320 –> 01:22:19,920
queer feminist hilarious and most

1986
01:22:19,040 –> 01:22:22,560
importantly

1987
01:22:19,920 –> 01:22:23,280
fun our entire first season is already

1988
01:22:22,560 –> 01:22:26,000
out now

1989
01:22:23,280 –> 01:22:27,920
on all podcast platforms and features

1990
01:22:26,000 –> 01:22:28,560
guests like b dave walters josephine

1991
01:22:27,920 –> 01:22:31,360
mcadam

1992
01:22:28,560 –> 01:22:31,920
and nora ibrahim join us on our d d 5e

1993
01:22:31,360 –> 01:22:34,080
adventure

1994
01:22:31,920 –> 01:22:35,920
run by dungeon goddess charlene bear

1995
01:22:34,080 –> 01:22:37,440
where we played an entirely homebrewed

1996
01:22:35,920 –> 01:22:40,159
battle royale campaign

1997
01:22:37,440 –> 01:22:41,920
the wildwell trials season 2 follows the

1998
01:22:40,159 –> 01:22:44,480
same characters you know and love

1999
01:22:41,920 –> 01:22:46,480
as they play hit point press’s hilarious

2000
01:22:44,480 –> 01:22:49,199
horror carnival extravaganza

2001
01:22:46,480 –> 01:22:49,600
hecna and don’t worry we don’t just do d

2002
01:22:49,199 –> 01:22:51,120
and d

2003
01:22:49,600 –> 01:22:53,440
we also have a world of darkness

2004
01:22:51,120 –> 01:22:55,520
chronicle titties by night a vampire the

2005
01:22:53,440 –> 01:22:57,840
masquerade v5 campaign

2006
01:22:55,520 –> 01:23:00,320
story told by kelly wright this show

2007
01:22:57,840 –> 01:23:02,800
follows a vampire cotery of supernatural

2008
01:23:00,320 –> 01:23:05,040
investigators in victorian london

2009
01:23:02,800 –> 01:23:07,440
all our shows have professional actors

2010
01:23:05,040 –> 01:23:09,679
intricate editing and story lines that

2011
01:23:07,440 –> 01:23:11,840
keep you coming back for more

2012
01:23:09,679 –> 01:23:12,880
catch us live on twitch.tv slash

2013
01:23:11,840 –> 01:23:15,199
tabletop titties

2014
01:23:12,880 –> 01:23:17,199
or as an edited podcasts wherever

2015
01:23:15,199 –> 01:23:19,840
podcasts are found for more information

2016
01:23:17,199 –> 01:23:21,679
visit our website at

2017
01:23:19,840 –> 01:23:23,360
and whenever we say tabletop titties

2018
01:23:21,679 –> 01:23:24,380
that’s with double d’s if you know what

2019
01:23:23,360 –> 01:23:28,400
we mean

2020
01:23:24,380 –> 01:23:30,080
[Music]

2021
01:23:28,400 –> 01:23:31,520
i sincerely forgot about the booty

2022
01:23:30,080 –> 01:23:32,239
riddlers and now i can’t think of

2023
01:23:31,520 –> 01:23:34,400
anything

2024
01:23:32,239 –> 01:23:35,760
but the trauma of experiencing the booty

2025
01:23:34,400 –> 01:23:38,239
riddlers i know

2026
01:23:35,760 –> 01:23:39,679
you forgot about say snap 20 boogie roll

2027
01:23:38,239 –> 01:23:43,920
how could you

2028
01:23:39,679 –> 01:23:48,000
oh god the best booty

2029
01:23:43,920 –> 01:23:51,840
so safe is gonna saunter up to the

2030
01:23:48,000 –> 01:23:52,800
uh scroll okay and i’m just gonna take a

2031
01:23:51,840 –> 01:23:55,360
look at it

2032
01:23:52,800 –> 01:23:56,080
it says the same thing i said earlier uh

2033
01:23:55,360 –> 01:24:00,800
yeah

2034
01:23:56,080 –> 01:24:02,639
i just want to look at it some more okay

2035
01:24:00,800 –> 01:24:04,320
mostly because i definitely might not

2036
01:24:02,639 –> 01:24:05,920
have been paying attention

2037
01:24:04,320 –> 01:24:07,520
you’re allowed to take a long [ __ ]

2038
01:24:05,920 –> 01:24:09,580
harass before you do the next

2039
01:24:07,520 –> 01:24:12,560
trial

2040
01:24:09,580 –> 01:24:14,880
[Laughter]

2041
01:24:12,560 –> 01:24:16,080
i’m just giving y’all some down time so

2042
01:24:14,880 –> 01:24:20,239
you can digest

2043
01:24:16,080 –> 01:24:21,199
the sooner [ __ ] thank you i appreciate

2044
01:24:20,239 –> 01:24:24,159
it

2045
01:24:21,199 –> 01:24:24,560
you can delete that entire exchange oh

2046
01:24:24,159 –> 01:24:27,679
no

2047
01:24:24,560 –> 01:24:30,159
absolutely not no no no no that’s that’s

2048
01:24:27,679 –> 01:24:34,400
a blooper

2049
01:24:30,159 –> 01:24:38,000
oh boy nugget how dare you i’m sorry

2050
01:24:34,400 –> 01:24:42,400
there’s a lot going on lately

2051
01:24:38,000 –> 01:24:45,440
don’t give me excuses no shut up

2052
01:24:42,400 –> 01:24:47,440
staggy’s turn to talk please don’t refer

2053
01:24:45,440 –> 01:24:50,960
to yourself as daddy i

2054
01:24:47,440 –> 01:24:54,000
i i ca

2055
01:24:50,960 –> 01:24:58,719
no go ahead come on daddy spin us your

2056
01:24:54,000 –> 01:24:58,719
fantasy tale daddy our

2057
01:25:11,600 –> 01:25:15,040
i’ve been flirting with him with every

2058
01:25:13,040 –> 01:25:16,880
gay character in my arsenal i’ve spent

2059
01:25:15,040 –> 01:25:19,590
my goal from day one

2060
01:25:16,880 –> 01:25:21,280
it’s fine as long as i’m the top

2061
01:25:19,590 –> 01:25:24,840
[Music]

2062
01:25:21,280 –> 01:25:26,800
don’t you air me you know our dynamic

2063
01:25:24,840 –> 01:25:30,719
[ __ ]

2064
01:25:26,800 –> 01:25:33,280
yeah we both struggle for power anyway

2065
01:25:30,719 –> 01:25:35,199
ignoring our hypothetical sex lives oh

2066
01:25:33,280 –> 01:25:38,080
boy

2067
01:25:35,199 –> 01:25:40,000
this is a thing and i thought our

2068
01:25:38,080 –> 01:25:43,040
halloween special was horny anyway

2069
01:25:40,000 –> 01:25:46,000
oh god i wish

2070
01:25:43,040 –> 01:25:47,360
my doctor gave me a lollipop with every

2071
01:25:46,000 –> 01:25:49,360
doctor’s note

2072
01:25:47,360 –> 01:25:50,960
well maybe like whatever happened to

2073
01:25:49,360 –> 01:25:52,320
that like you remember like when like

2074
01:25:50,960 –> 01:25:54,639
your doctors be like and you were a

2075
01:25:52,320 –> 01:25:55,600
brave boy today so here’s a lollipop me

2076
01:25:54,639 –> 01:25:57,360
like [ __ ] yeah

2077
01:25:55,600 –> 01:25:59,120
yeah that’s called your pediatrician

2078
01:25:57,360 –> 01:26:02,080
your kid doctor

2079
01:25:59,120 –> 01:26:04,000
yeah but like why did that have to stop

2080
01:26:02,080 –> 01:26:05,600
adults like don’t like sugar no we

2081
01:26:04,000 –> 01:26:07,760
didn’t like [ __ ] grow out of that

2082
01:26:05,600 –> 01:26:09,120
i would like a lollipop like he doesn’t

2083
01:26:07,760 –> 01:26:10,719
have to be like you were a brave boy

2084
01:26:09,120 –> 01:26:12,159
but you’d be like all right uh you know

2085
01:26:10,719 –> 01:26:13,600
you finished your uh checkup and uh

2086
01:26:12,159 –> 01:26:16,000
here’s your lollipop sir i’ll be like

2087
01:26:13,600 –> 01:26:19,920
hell yeah my lollipop

2088
01:26:16,000 –> 01:26:19,920
that’d be nice wouldn’t that be nice

2089
01:26:20,719 –> 01:26:25,440
all right take a throat legend jesus

2090
01:26:23,520 –> 01:26:30,400
christ get out of here

2091
01:26:25,440 –> 01:26:30,400
sorry no wait uh muhammad

2092
01:26:30,480 –> 01:26:34,239
like from really far away i think you

2093
01:26:32,960 –> 01:26:37,840
mean muhammad

2094
01:26:34,239 –> 01:26:37,840
who the [ __ ] is jesus

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