The Agents are half way through the trials of the Fey, and now they are face to face with Big Betty and whatever horrid culinary abominations she can serve. Can they stomach Betty’s trial, and whatever else the trials have in store for them.
Transcript
Coming soo
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[Music]
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hello everyone
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and welcome back to agents of damned
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our let’s play d d podcast featuring
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myself
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your sometimes benevolent often
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malevolent dungeon master
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jordan roman and as always i am joined
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by my
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fellow players hi guys i’m katie and i
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play safe
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hey everyone i’m christina and i play
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wintera and i’m drew mclean and by the
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quantity and quality of bahamut’s
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quotable quips
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i play the good dr arlo aegon actually
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freaking on par for
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your little stick you’re welcome
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and you don’t even have to enter it into
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your list of things you’re keeping track
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of jordan
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no because i i’ve given up on that
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because
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you’ve gotten too elaborate with them
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what no i’m like i’m still in the early
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parts of my list
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i’m just saying like in the beginning it
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was like by the
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and then two words of bahamut or
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something or by his
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and then like one thing now it’s like a
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[ __ ] sonnet oh yeah it’s gonna be
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like an epic poem by the time
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we actually get any contact with bahamut
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i assume
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uh the finale episode is going to be
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half drew’s intro i’m just going to like
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die because like bahamut’s going to be
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like
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listen i i’ve been there the entire time
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listening to all of these
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just just just stop this this isn’t
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arlo saying it yeah it’s not to say
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that’d be real weird because that would
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imply
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that bahamut has an issue with drew
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my god hashtag break the floor like look
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there are beings beyond your
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understanding that
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have more control over your existence
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than even i
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and one of them just like won’t stop
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making [ __ ] up
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oh my goodness none of this is true i
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need you to understand
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i’m just a dragon man i mean a god
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dragon but a dragon
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i’m just trying to live my life man i’m
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not a small business owner i don’t own
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all this property i don’t know why he
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keeps i’ve never even heard of a tgi
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fridays
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oh boy all these employees keep like
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coming up to me asking about 401k i
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didn’t know i had employees
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the worst part is these teenagers they
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won’t leave me alone
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okay all right all right all right give
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us the recap
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give us the recap fair enough
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last time the agents began the arduous
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task of
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facing the trials of the fae
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they faced many challenging and bizarre
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oppositions
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including a dating game where they
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needed to find the fey lord who held the
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key to advancing
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and solving the puzzle of the booty
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riddlers
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now they continue towards their next
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trial unaware
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of what next curious task awaits them
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and thus we resume our tale
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you guys are as i mentioned last time
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in this large open dining area
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big betty has just kicked in
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the doors saying who’s hungry [ __ ]
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arlo like very apprehensively
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slowly raises his hand damn straight you
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are
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sit your ass down oh boy
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oh no peggy’s very meta today
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oh no so as you all
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either willingly or reluctantly take a
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seat at this ginormous
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table spib hops up onto the table
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and addresses audience so for this trial
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we will be testing your constitution as
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i am sure you have occasionally
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experienced betty’s food can be
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challenging at times
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[ __ ] off i’m just saying betty
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we do not have good return on customers
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this may be reason maybe some are dead
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who knows
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anyway for this trial you are going to
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need to overcome betty’s most sinister
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recipes
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ever conducted any questions
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um excellent let us begin
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for the 10
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course soon enterprise endurance feast
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i [ __ ] hate you you picked that one
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on purpose
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no [ __ ] so becky rolls
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out the first set of cartouche or for
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anyone who is unfamiliar with that and
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has not seen the dairy queen ad that
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pokes fun at these things which is the
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only reason i know what that is
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uh is that fancy tray thing with the
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covering
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that you see rich people use to hold
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their food
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okay fair enough i mean i think that
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like if you have a butler and a cartoon
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and they
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give you food in it yes okay very same
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can i just say i heard witch people and
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not rich people at first so i was
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picturing something very different i
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actually too heard witch people and i
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was like
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wait in today’s day and age is there
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really a difference
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anyway so allow me to explain
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the way that this contest will work in
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game
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you will have to survive each of the 10
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different courses
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of the ultimate sunnah endurance course
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you’ll make a constitution save equal to
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the standard khan save for big betty
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however
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instead of gaining any sort of a benefit
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or a boon if you pass
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you gain a temporary plus one to your
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overall constitution score
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neat if we fail i’m getting to that
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oh god for each failure your
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constitution score
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hits minus three
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oh boy if your constitution score ever
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hits
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zero you fall unconscious and you’re out
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do all of us need to pass this just one
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of you
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oh god all right come here blood dice
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i’m gonna need you oh i hope they betray
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you today
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so beggy has her hands on two
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of the trays spib somehow despite his
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minor stature also manages to do this
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and beggie says for the first cause
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the spicy sooner
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sticks and she lifts them up and there
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are just deep fried
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presumably sooner you can’t tell they
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almost have a bit of a mosaic filter
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over them because god knows what
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with a literal stink line forming a
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skull and crossbones over them
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oh boy wait wait wait wait hold on so
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you said
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presumably sooner is soon a thing that
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we know what the [ __ ] it is
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sooner like a [ __ ] fish in this world
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are you just like
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is that like a cheeky thing or is it
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like no sun is a
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a fish in fantasy world that we know of
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now
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it’s the fish that saith is named after
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the one that
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uh well first of all no it’s not because
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your name isn’t sunnah
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new head cannon’s safe name is suna and
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she picks something edgier
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all i will say on that is all i will say
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is there is an answer to that question
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however you guys have never heard of
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suno prior to big betty’s
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okay oh boy god
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[ __ ] damn it jordan what happens if i
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crit failed
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christina i hadn’t considered that [ __ ]
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i get to be a dick
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in a con save right yeah i can’t save
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can we do things before we do the the
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the trial
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like can we do magics you’re in the
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trial but if you would like to
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cast a spell before you do your save
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that is okay okay
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you were able to do spells in the other
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trials i see no reason why i wouldn’t
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let you be silly in these
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please tell me i stalk the spell that i
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want for
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today [ __ ]
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never mind
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i was hoping i sucked purify food and
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drink i didn’t
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oh that wouldn’t have helped i would not
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have let that happen not on your life
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that dice is immediately fired i will
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say
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that in the case of a critical success
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or a critical failure
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the reward punishment is doubled
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oh boy so i have a minus six now
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it is to your overall score so in your
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case since you have a 14
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you now have an eight
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oh boy oh boy there’s 10 of these
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oh boy there’s 10 of these 19.
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okay you’re good you get a plus one to
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your overall score okay
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uh 16. okay
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you two are good let me see
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how our sweet baby bookworm handles this
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bookworm just spontaneously dies
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no she actually handles it pretty well
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surprisingly when tara previously hating
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the spicy suna
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when we were back in thai anther like
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literally shoves it as far away from her
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as she can when she tries eating it
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she’s like this did not get any better
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oh oh yeah that’s right you do have a
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thing against suna don’t you
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yes no arlo’s like leaning over at her
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like a mouth full of uh sooner like are
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you all first
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no harlow eats the winter
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sooner i’m not going to make you do
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another save on that one there’s enough
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torture left
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so as this goes on beggie brings out the
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next seg of dishes this is all chef
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becky by the way just to be clear
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okay you have not seen any other betty
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ah the other two buddies aren’t present
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you do not see
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any other baggies aside from chef betty
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god damn it i wanted to trick you into
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revealing things i’m not that stupid
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look man i might be sipping on some wine
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here but i’m not so far gone that i’ll
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just reveal all my secrets
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some maybe but not that one i’ll get you
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one day
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and your little dog too anyway so
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she puts the next ones down and as she
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lifts it she says
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the second cause the spicy
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sooner and she lifts it up and
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you might expect a spicy dish to be
270
00:11:00,240 –> 00:11:05,839
reddish in nature
271
00:11:02,079 –> 00:11:08,720
it’s just black and bubbling
272
00:11:05,839 –> 00:11:09,760
with visible bones sticking out of it
273
00:11:08,720 –> 00:11:12,959
you
274
00:11:09,760 –> 00:11:17,120
roll your saves
275
00:11:12,959 –> 00:11:20,079
or do your spells whatever oh 18
276
00:11:17,120 –> 00:11:21,600
would healing help with people getting
277
00:11:20,079 –> 00:11:22,399
minuses in their constitution in this
278
00:11:21,600 –> 00:11:25,200
context
279
00:11:22,399 –> 00:11:26,480
no damn the only spells that will really
280
00:11:25,200 –> 00:11:28,399
make a difference will be things that
281
00:11:26,480 –> 00:11:30,079
might help you with the rolls if you
282
00:11:28,399 –> 00:11:31,600
fail a roll you fail a roll i’m not
283
00:11:30,079 –> 00:11:35,120
gonna give you all that
284
00:11:31,600 –> 00:11:38,240
it’s a minus three normally right four
285
00:11:35,120 –> 00:11:39,680
oh uh for a failed save yes yes okay no
286
00:11:38,240 –> 00:11:42,880
i got a 13 on the die
287
00:11:39,680 –> 00:11:45,760
so uh minus my uh
288
00:11:42,880 –> 00:11:47,760
negative one at the moment yeah that’s
289
00:11:45,760 –> 00:11:51,040
not gonna do it
290
00:11:47,760 –> 00:11:53,600
i have a new spell from tasha’s that i
291
00:11:51,040 –> 00:11:56,959
have not gotten to use yet that i might
292
00:11:53,600 –> 00:11:59,920
be able to use helpfully okay
293
00:11:56,959 –> 00:12:00,560
so it’s it’s betty and sweetie puffy boy
294
00:11:59,920 –> 00:12:03,680
who are
295
00:12:00,560 –> 00:12:06,079
bringing us the food right yes
296
00:12:03,680 –> 00:12:06,800
well really it’s just betty she’s like
297
00:12:06,079 –> 00:12:10,079
walking
298
00:12:06,800 –> 00:12:11,920
presumably she’s leaving the room and
299
00:12:10,079 –> 00:12:13,360
coming back with it but you never see
300
00:12:11,920 –> 00:12:15,040
this happen because it happens while you
301
00:12:13,360 –> 00:12:16,639
guys are eating and she is somehow able
302
00:12:15,040 –> 00:12:17,680
to avoid eye contact at all times with
303
00:12:16,639 –> 00:12:20,000
you guys
304
00:12:17,680 –> 00:12:21,120
oh i am not casting magic on betty never
305
00:12:20,000 –> 00:12:26,639
mind
306
00:12:21,120 –> 00:12:29,600
we’re we’re not to try and cast a spell
307
00:12:26,639 –> 00:12:31,279
on betty no i was going to try to cast a
308
00:12:29,600 –> 00:12:32,959
spell on sweetie puffy boy
309
00:12:31,279 –> 00:12:34,720
but you just said like no he only helped
310
00:12:32,959 –> 00:12:37,200
with the first one it’s just betty
311
00:12:34,720 –> 00:12:38,720
not like oh no never mind i mean he’s
312
00:12:37,200 –> 00:12:39,839
lifting the food up but he’s not
313
00:12:38,720 –> 00:12:41,040
bringing it out
314
00:12:39,839 –> 00:12:42,959
i’m just saying like is he like
315
00:12:41,040 –> 00:12:46,160
presenting us with the food
316
00:12:42,959 –> 00:12:47,920
in some context he’s lifting the lids
317
00:12:46,160 –> 00:12:49,279
for two of them because he only has the
318
00:12:47,920 –> 00:12:52,320
two arms
319
00:12:49,279 –> 00:12:56,160
i would like to cast
320
00:12:52,320 –> 00:13:00,320
fast friends on sweetie puffy boy
321
00:12:56,160 –> 00:13:03,600
with the aim of doing what asking him
322
00:13:00,320 –> 00:13:06,040
to like help wintera
323
00:13:03,600 –> 00:13:08,320
fake eating the food
324
00:13:06,040 –> 00:13:10,399
[Music]
325
00:13:08,320 –> 00:13:11,920
listen golden dragon boy i understand
326
00:13:10,399 –> 00:13:13,600
what you’re trying to do i feel like
327
00:13:11,920 –> 00:13:14,959
we’ve been friends forever honestly it’s
328
00:13:13,600 –> 00:13:16,880
a pretty quick friendship that we have
329
00:13:14,959 –> 00:13:18,480
established here
330
00:13:16,880 –> 00:13:19,839
but the trials the trial and i cannot go
331
00:13:18,480 –> 00:13:21,760
against that literally no one can go
332
00:13:19,839 –> 00:13:23,279
against that if you try to go against it
333
00:13:21,760 –> 00:13:24,880
it just will not count sorry that is the
334
00:13:23,279 –> 00:13:25,200
way it works cannot do anything about
335
00:13:24,880 –> 00:13:27,360
that
336
00:13:25,200 –> 00:13:28,800
but you are new best friend don’t know
337
00:13:27,360 –> 00:13:29,120
why i feel you’ve always been new best
338
00:13:28,800 –> 00:13:31,760
friend
339
00:13:29,120 –> 00:13:34,240
new love you love best friend yes you
340
00:13:31,760 –> 00:13:37,279
know what i’ll take that
341
00:13:34,240 –> 00:13:39,920
take it so for the rest of this sweetie
342
00:13:37,279 –> 00:13:40,240
puffy boy is your bff but he cannot help
343
00:13:39,920 –> 00:13:43,040
you
344
00:13:40,240 –> 00:13:44,160
like not do the trial if you don’t do
345
00:13:43,040 –> 00:13:47,680
the trolley then you
346
00:13:44,160 –> 00:13:48,160
auto fail it oh boy how long does this
347
00:13:47,680 –> 00:13:49,680
last
348
00:13:48,160 –> 00:13:51,360
is it will it last long enough for us to
349
00:13:49,680 –> 00:13:54,480
get matching tattoos
350
00:13:51,360 –> 00:13:59,120
no so well no it’s not here
351
00:13:54,480 –> 00:14:01,680
so so this time when tara takes a sip of
352
00:13:59,120 –> 00:14:04,480
it and she just knocks the soup over
353
00:14:01,680 –> 00:14:06,320
you hear bookworm also have an equally
354
00:14:04,480 –> 00:14:07,199
visceral reaction she did oh [ __ ] i have
355
00:14:06,320 –> 00:14:11,199
to roll
356
00:14:07,199 –> 00:14:13,360
yes you know what saith is enjoying it
357
00:14:11,199 –> 00:14:14,800
she she’s uh she drank down the whole
358
00:14:13,360 –> 00:14:18,000
bowl what’d you guys
359
00:14:14,800 –> 00:14:18,800
i the 16 18. okay you you both are good
360
00:14:18,000 –> 00:14:21,519
you get another plus
361
00:14:18,800 –> 00:14:21,920
one the druids are not doing great yeah
362
00:14:21,519 –> 00:14:25,120
oh
363
00:14:21,920 –> 00:14:27,199
- it still passes okay
364
00:14:25,120 –> 00:14:28,800
i forgot about the plus one my con is
365
00:14:27,199 –> 00:14:32,480
high i’m a cleric
366
00:14:28,800 –> 00:14:35,519
it’s okay it’s fine
367
00:14:32,480 –> 00:14:38,880
okay as you all finish
368
00:14:35,519 –> 00:14:41,920
guzzling down your soup slash upending
369
00:14:38,880 –> 00:14:43,360
your soup the next seg of dishes
370
00:14:41,920 –> 00:14:47,519
immediately slammed down
371
00:14:43,360 –> 00:14:50,800
in front of you as beggy exclaims next
372
00:14:47,519 –> 00:14:54,399
the spicy sooner
373
00:14:50,800 –> 00:14:57,199
salad and lifts it up and
374
00:14:54,399 –> 00:15:00,639
you’ve seen fresher greens admittedly
375
00:14:57,199 –> 00:15:02,160
you’ve seen greener greens
376
00:15:00,639 –> 00:15:03,680
you don’t know what exactly you’re
377
00:15:02,160 –> 00:15:06,639
looking at but it looks more like it
378
00:15:03,680 –> 00:15:08,560
belongs in a dumpster than on a plate
379
00:15:06,639 –> 00:15:09,920
when tara looks as disgusted as possible
380
00:15:08,560 –> 00:15:12,079
she’s just like
381
00:15:09,920 –> 00:15:13,199
i don’t know what forest these came from
382
00:15:12,079 –> 00:15:15,790
but
383
00:15:13,199 –> 00:15:17,810
there’s something wrong going on there
384
00:15:15,790 –> 00:15:18,959
[Laughter]
385
00:15:17,810 –> 00:15:21,600
[Music]
386
00:15:18,959 –> 00:15:23,600
i rolled a nat 20 on this one okay you
387
00:15:21,600 –> 00:15:27,920
get a plus two on that one
388
00:15:23,600 –> 00:15:29,680
oh god [ __ ] me arlo sees a salad and
389
00:15:27,920 –> 00:15:31,360
he looks of a bet he’s like uh i think
390
00:15:29,680 –> 00:15:33,120
there’s been a mistake uh there’s
391
00:15:31,360 –> 00:15:35,040
vegetables in this
392
00:15:33,120 –> 00:15:36,399
oh [ __ ] you’re right and she scoops out
393
00:15:35,040 –> 00:15:36,880
all the vegetables and all that is left
394
00:15:36,399 –> 00:15:40,240
is just
395
00:15:36,880 –> 00:15:44,959
the nasty dressing in the fish thank you
396
00:15:40,240 –> 00:15:47,199
[Laughter]
397
00:15:44,959 –> 00:15:49,600
dude i have that [ __ ] in there i
398
00:15:47,199 –> 00:15:53,440
apparently ought not to have done that
399
00:15:49,600 –> 00:15:56,880
the greens are what saves you okay so
400
00:15:53,440 –> 00:16:01,920
this is a con save and i have plus two
401
00:15:56,880 –> 00:16:05,040
right so far okay so it’s four plus
402
00:16:01,920 –> 00:16:07,360
okay so so subtract three
403
00:16:05,040 –> 00:16:08,079
nine subtract three from your overall
404
00:16:07,360 –> 00:16:11,759
con
405
00:16:08,079 –> 00:16:14,160
oh we’re in a room right yeah
406
00:16:11,759 –> 00:16:14,959
when tara picks up her plate and she
407
00:16:14,160 –> 00:16:18,079
throws it
408
00:16:14,959 –> 00:16:23,199
across the room and screams angrily
409
00:16:18,079 –> 00:16:25,120
god i liked it no it was disgusting
410
00:16:23,199 –> 00:16:26,399
arlo like takes a bite of his and he’s
411
00:16:25,120 –> 00:16:29,360
like on the on the
412
00:16:26,399 –> 00:16:31,040
like hunter of the table
413
00:16:29,360 –> 00:16:36,240
[Music]
414
00:16:31,040 –> 00:16:39,519
just hunched over the table just ah
415
00:16:36,240 –> 00:16:41,360
i’m fine i’m good and
416
00:16:39,519 –> 00:16:43,519
i maybe we may i maybe needed the
417
00:16:41,360 –> 00:16:44,639
vegetables that was on me that was a
418
00:16:43,519 –> 00:16:47,120
tactical
419
00:16:44,639 –> 00:16:48,160
dad glare you guys look over at bookworm
420
00:16:47,120 –> 00:16:51,120
and she has taken a
421
00:16:48,160 –> 00:16:52,800
she attempted to eat it but the second
422
00:16:51,120 –> 00:16:56,079
it got close to her mouth
423
00:16:52,800 –> 00:16:59,279
she immediately turned green and
424
00:16:56,079 –> 00:17:01,279
was unable to do it she also failed what
425
00:16:59,279 –> 00:17:03,120
wait what when tara like you look over
426
00:17:01,279 –> 00:17:04,640
and look or arlo looks over at you and
427
00:17:03,120 –> 00:17:05,679
like his eyes are teared up and he has a
428
00:17:04,640 –> 00:17:06,079
little bit of drool coming from his
429
00:17:05,679 –> 00:17:08,640
mouth
430
00:17:06,079 –> 00:17:09,439
like from coughing up food and he looks
431
00:17:08,640 –> 00:17:12,640
like somehow
432
00:17:09,439 –> 00:17:15,280
paler and there’s a bead of silence
433
00:17:12,640 –> 00:17:16,640
and he says are you gonna finish your
434
00:17:15,280 –> 00:17:18,959
salad
435
00:17:16,640 –> 00:17:19,650
the one i already threw across the room
436
00:17:18,959 –> 00:17:21,600
no
437
00:17:19,650 –> 00:17:23,520
[Music]
438
00:17:21,600 –> 00:17:25,760
the one that also physically hurt you to
439
00:17:23,520 –> 00:17:25,760
eat
440
00:17:26,640 –> 00:17:31,120
i’ll make you reroll that one don’t test
441
00:17:28,640 –> 00:17:32,160
me if it’s just sitting quietly in her
442
00:17:31,120 –> 00:17:33,840
chair like
443
00:17:32,160 –> 00:17:37,520
dabbing the side of her mouth with a
444
00:17:33,840 –> 00:17:39,760
napkin just completely unfazed
445
00:17:37,520 –> 00:17:41,919
them street kids and they’ll just eat
446
00:17:39,760 –> 00:17:43,520
anything i tell you
447
00:17:41,919 –> 00:17:47,200
she’s like i’ve had to eat people before
448
00:17:43,520 –> 00:17:50,080
we’re like what she’s like what
449
00:17:47,200 –> 00:17:50,080
i said garbage
450
00:17:51,360 –> 00:17:54,559
yeah so i can do one more of those
451
00:17:52,880 –> 00:17:55,520
before i am doubt i’m just letting you
452
00:17:54,559 –> 00:18:00,080
guys know
453
00:17:55,520 –> 00:18:00,960
that i’m feisty sooner it’s people i
454
00:18:00,080 –> 00:18:04,240
have a uh
455
00:18:00,960 –> 00:18:06,080
a minus four mod right now so wait is
456
00:18:04,240 –> 00:18:09,760
spicy soon a people
457
00:18:06,080 –> 00:18:11,360
jordan no okay i’ll alleviate that one
458
00:18:09,760 –> 00:18:14,960
because no i’m not gonna make
459
00:18:11,360 –> 00:18:18,400
beggy like a secret cannibal
460
00:18:14,960 –> 00:18:19,760
surprise that’s a surprise
461
00:18:18,400 –> 00:18:21,679
that’s such a problem that’s the
462
00:18:19,760 –> 00:18:25,360
surprise part
463
00:18:21,679 –> 00:18:27,360
the secret is i killed you in the future
464
00:18:25,360 –> 00:18:29,200
it fed you to yourself
465
00:18:27,360 –> 00:18:31,520
how’s that for your mind did i freak
466
00:18:29,200 –> 00:18:35,360
your [ __ ] bean
467
00:18:31,520 –> 00:18:35,360
those suna sticks your fingers
468
00:18:35,760 –> 00:18:42,720
anywho the next dish comes out much
469
00:18:38,640 –> 00:18:46,160
through the dismay of one dying shifter
470
00:18:42,720 –> 00:18:50,160
before this spicy
471
00:18:46,160 –> 00:18:51,120
sooner souffle and as she lifts it this
472
00:18:50,160 –> 00:18:53,600
thing has sunk
473
00:18:51,120 –> 00:18:57,360
all to hell it’s basically like a crust
474
00:18:53,600 –> 00:19:01,039
around the plate ugh
475
00:18:57,360 –> 00:19:02,480
it did not rise for [ __ ] please 19 or
476
00:19:01,039 –> 00:19:05,919
higher
477
00:19:02,480 –> 00:19:09,679
oh good bookworm crit failed oh
478
00:19:05,919 –> 00:19:12,880
baby she has a constitution score of
479
00:19:09,679 –> 00:19:14,960
one oh thank you what what’s fair the
480
00:19:12,880 –> 00:19:18,160
dying do
481
00:19:14,960 –> 00:19:20,640
to someone about to pass out jordan
482
00:19:18,160 –> 00:19:25,840
read me the language and spare the dying
483
00:19:20,640 –> 00:19:25,840
you touching
484
00:19:27,520 –> 00:19:33,039
is everyone having fun yet is this as
485
00:19:29,280 –> 00:19:35,360
wonderful because i’m loving this
486
00:19:33,039 –> 00:19:37,360
you touch a living creature that has
487
00:19:35,360 –> 00:19:39,600
zero hit points
488
00:19:37,360 –> 00:19:40,880
the creature becomes stable the smell
489
00:19:39,600 –> 00:19:44,480
has no effect on
490
00:19:40,880 –> 00:19:46,559
dinner constructs i will say if you do
491
00:19:44,480 –> 00:19:48,880
that to someone who passes out
492
00:19:46,559 –> 00:19:50,840
they will pop back up to a con score of
493
00:19:48,880 –> 00:19:54,320
one
494
00:19:50,840 –> 00:19:58,640
okay that is a fair trade
495
00:19:54,320 –> 00:20:01,039
well what is this a souffle supposedly
496
00:19:58,640 –> 00:20:02,320
yeah this time when tara just vomits
497
00:20:01,039 –> 00:20:06,720
into it
498
00:20:02,320 –> 00:20:09,520
oh so go ahead and cast spare the dying
499
00:20:06,720 –> 00:20:10,799
yeah um so first first and foremost 19
500
00:20:09,520 –> 00:20:15,919
hell yeah you boy
501
00:20:10,799 –> 00:20:15,919
um and uh yeah we’re gonna casper
502
00:20:16,240 –> 00:20:19,360
but like arlo was like shoveling the
503
00:20:18,000 –> 00:20:21,200
souffle into his mouth
504
00:20:19,360 –> 00:20:22,720
it’s like he sees wood tear just like
505
00:20:21,200 –> 00:20:23,440
slump over into a chair and he kind of
506
00:20:22,720 –> 00:20:25,919
like
507
00:20:23,440 –> 00:20:26,720
magically summons up some holy energy
508
00:20:25,919 –> 00:20:28,720
and then like it
509
00:20:26,720 –> 00:20:30,400
concentrates on a point in his finger
510
00:20:28,720 –> 00:20:31,919
and he just like jabs her real hard in
511
00:20:30,400 –> 00:20:32,960
the ribs with it and she like pops back
512
00:20:31,919 –> 00:20:35,360
up like
513
00:20:32,960 –> 00:20:36,799
yeah she punches you arlo angrily like
514
00:20:35,360 –> 00:20:37,500
why would you make me go through with
515
00:20:36,799 –> 00:20:40,240
more of this
516
00:20:37,500 –> 00:20:41,520
[Music]
517
00:20:40,240 –> 00:20:43,840
honestly i think you need to tough
518
00:20:41,520 –> 00:20:45,039
enough about your uh your palette there
519
00:20:43,840 –> 00:20:47,120
or when you take three points of
520
00:20:45,039 –> 00:20:48,400
blushing damage ah what
521
00:20:47,120 –> 00:20:50,240
i think you need to toughen up about
522
00:20:48,400 –> 00:20:54,320
your knees and watch them
523
00:20:50,240 –> 00:20:55,600
oh boy joke’s on you my knees are
524
00:20:54,320 –> 00:20:57,600
my knees aren’t even where you think
525
00:20:55,600 –> 00:21:00,240
they are i got them weird
526
00:20:57,600 –> 00:21:00,960
backwards legs the blood dice is doing
527
00:21:00,240 –> 00:21:04,080
me well
528
00:21:00,960 –> 00:21:05,280
it’s it’s rolled me a 19. okay so that’s
529
00:21:04,080 –> 00:21:08,720
another plus one for you and
530
00:21:05,280 –> 00:21:10,080
you two are doing great huh
531
00:21:08,720 –> 00:21:11,280
german nature people as it turns out
532
00:21:10,080 –> 00:21:12,159
don’t like hag food who would have
533
00:21:11,280 –> 00:21:15,120
thought
534
00:21:12,159 –> 00:21:16,159
specifically this particular meal we’re
535
00:21:15,120 –> 00:21:19,760
not a fan of spicy
536
00:21:16,159 –> 00:21:21,919
sooner apparently no as it turns out as
537
00:21:19,760 –> 00:21:23,919
you and bookworm both have a
538
00:21:21,919 –> 00:21:25,200
constitution score of one which means
539
00:21:23,919 –> 00:21:28,480
you guys have a minus
540
00:21:25,200 –> 00:21:30,400
five modifier wait wait you guys need to
541
00:21:28,480 –> 00:21:31,760
you guys need to crit succeed in order
542
00:21:30,400 –> 00:21:34,640
to keep on going
543
00:21:31,760 –> 00:21:36,480
i love the the the head cannon of like
544
00:21:34,640 –> 00:21:38,640
you know bookworm and when tara used to
545
00:21:36,480 –> 00:21:40,159
eating like fresh fruit and like berries
546
00:21:38,640 –> 00:21:42,559
and fish from nature
547
00:21:40,159 –> 00:21:44,159
their entire lives meanwhile like safe
548
00:21:42,559 –> 00:21:46,240
lived on the streets and like had the
549
00:21:44,159 –> 00:21:49,039
literal garbage and like arlo is used to
550
00:21:46,240 –> 00:21:49,840
like the shittiest of shitty military
551
00:21:49,039 –> 00:21:52,080
rations and
552
00:21:49,840 –> 00:21:54,400
they’re just like hell yeah this was
553
00:21:52,080 –> 00:21:54,400
warm
554
00:21:56,640 –> 00:22:00,799
that’s so sad because that implies you
555
00:21:58,640 –> 00:22:02,799
guys haven’t upgraded since then and
556
00:22:00,799 –> 00:22:06,000
that doesn’t sound right to me
557
00:22:02,799 –> 00:22:07,919
oh boy just ingrained in them
558
00:22:06,000 –> 00:22:10,400
god they’re like there wasn’t even rain
559
00:22:07,919 –> 00:22:12,559
on my food are you kidding me
560
00:22:10,400 –> 00:22:13,440
so just just to clarify is spare the
561
00:22:12,559 –> 00:22:16,799
dying a
562
00:22:13,440 –> 00:22:20,000
spell or a can’t trip can’t
563
00:22:16,799 –> 00:22:22,240
okay what i will say is
564
00:22:20,000 –> 00:22:23,600
in the instance of both bookworm and
565
00:22:22,240 –> 00:22:25,600
winterra failing
566
00:22:23,600 –> 00:22:26,880
since you can only cast one spell per
567
00:22:25,600 –> 00:22:28,640
turn you have to pick one of them if
568
00:22:26,880 –> 00:22:31,120
they stay down for longer than that
569
00:22:28,640 –> 00:22:33,200
particular round you can’t do it
570
00:22:31,120 –> 00:22:35,120
all right i’ll do spare dagger on when
571
00:22:33,200 –> 00:22:36,960
tara this turn and then next turn
572
00:22:35,120 –> 00:22:39,120
i’ll do it well i mean she might crit
573
00:22:36,960 –> 00:22:40,880
you don’t know
574
00:22:39,120 –> 00:22:43,120
it’s her literal only chance hers and
575
00:22:40,880 –> 00:22:44,559
bookworms i’m just gonna keep
576
00:22:43,120 –> 00:22:46,240
ping-ponging between the two of them to
577
00:22:44,559 –> 00:22:47,520
keep them alive well again that’s
578
00:22:46,240 –> 00:22:49,120
assuming that they both don’t
579
00:22:47,520 –> 00:22:51,679
immediately fail this they have to both
580
00:22:49,120 –> 00:22:55,200
roll in that 20s for that
581
00:22:51,679 –> 00:22:57,840
and on that note big maggie brings out
582
00:22:55,200 –> 00:23:01,280
the next one
583
00:22:57,840 –> 00:23:03,679
for the fifth dish the halfway mark for
584
00:23:01,280 –> 00:23:06,880
those keeping count
585
00:23:03,679 –> 00:23:10,559
the spicy sounder
586
00:23:06,880 –> 00:23:12,240
sandwich and as she lifts the trays
587
00:23:10,559 –> 00:23:13,840
you’re not even sure that’s bread
588
00:23:12,240 –> 00:23:15,200
holding together whatever the [ __ ] is in
589
00:23:13,840 –> 00:23:16,799
the middle of it
590
00:23:15,200 –> 00:23:18,720
i have only recently become familiar
591
00:23:16,799 –> 00:23:20,559
with sandwiches and i’m fairly certain
592
00:23:18,720 –> 00:23:23,600
that is not one
593
00:23:20,559 –> 00:23:24,240
all right down the hatch well bookworm
594
00:23:23,600 –> 00:23:27,760
failed
595
00:23:24,240 –> 00:23:30,480
when tara failed well pick one
596
00:23:27,760 –> 00:23:31,919
i rolled my purple dice this time it
597
00:23:30,480 –> 00:23:35,039
gave me an 18.
598
00:23:31,919 –> 00:23:37,120
god bless it i was so hoping you were
599
00:23:35,039 –> 00:23:40,720
gonna say it failed you
600
00:23:37,120 –> 00:23:42,559
so now that we’ve hit the halfway mark
601
00:23:40,720 –> 00:23:44,799
i would like to go ahead and take
602
00:23:42,559 –> 00:23:46,720
inventory on where everyone is at
603
00:23:44,799 –> 00:23:48,080
constitution score wise we know bookworm
604
00:23:46,720 –> 00:23:51,200
is out
605
00:23:48,080 –> 00:23:51,600
i’m at 22. okay i need to stop you right
606
00:23:51,200 –> 00:23:54,799
there
607
00:23:51,600 –> 00:23:56,320
max 20. oh yeah i’m at 20.
608
00:23:54,799 –> 00:23:58,159
okay which means you have a plus five to
609
00:23:56,320 –> 00:24:01,279
all your concepts so i
610
00:23:58,159 –> 00:24:03,440
did good the first two and then one loss
611
00:24:01,279 –> 00:24:04,559
and so i’m i’m at the same as when i
612
00:24:03,440 –> 00:24:07,039
started oh
613
00:24:04,559 –> 00:24:08,240
cool that tracks well wait no you should
614
00:24:07,039 –> 00:24:10,960
be at a plus one
615
00:24:08,240 –> 00:24:12,640
from where you were no i had two good
616
00:24:10,960 –> 00:24:13,919
and then one bad which took me down
617
00:24:12,640 –> 00:24:16,640
three and then one good
618
00:24:13,919 –> 00:24:17,279
and so that’s we’ve had five we’ve had
619
00:24:16,640 –> 00:24:19,919
five
620
00:24:17,279 –> 00:24:21,520
yeah that was round five oh yeah i might
621
00:24:19,919 –> 00:24:23,200
have lost one
622
00:24:21,520 –> 00:24:24,559
about to say i i’ve been keeping track i
623
00:24:23,200 –> 00:24:26,720
have a list in front of me of all these
624
00:24:24,559 –> 00:24:28,799
things we’re almost at my favorite
625
00:24:26,720 –> 00:24:30,559
well did you spare the dying me or
626
00:24:28,799 –> 00:24:34,799
bookworm
627
00:24:30,559 –> 00:24:38,880
oh god that’s right um so did you die
628
00:24:34,799 –> 00:24:40,640
yes do you want to stay dead or
629
00:24:38,880 –> 00:24:42,000
that’s an arlo decision i don’t know if
630
00:24:40,640 –> 00:24:43,760
mere bookworm is doing
631
00:24:42,000 –> 00:24:46,240
either like any better we’re both just
632
00:24:43,760 –> 00:24:49,200
as likely to fail or succeed i think but
633
00:24:46,240 –> 00:24:50,640
one is probably going to punch you yep
634
00:24:49,200 –> 00:24:52,559
bookworm has been doing
635
00:24:50,640 –> 00:24:53,919
awful on her diet like even with the
636
00:24:52,559 –> 00:24:55,600
negative modifier she’s been doing
637
00:24:53,919 –> 00:24:57,520
atrocious on her con saves
638
00:24:55,600 –> 00:24:59,120
oh arlo is like looking at like bookworm
639
00:24:57,520 –> 00:25:00,960
who is a precious bean and
640
00:24:59,120 –> 00:25:02,480
and like when tara who is like a member
641
00:25:00,960 –> 00:25:03,840
of his team that he’s responsible for
642
00:25:02,480 –> 00:25:05,200
and he looks like that like
643
00:25:03,840 –> 00:25:06,559
that meme of the guy with the two
644
00:25:05,200 –> 00:25:08,400
buttons and he’s like dabbing his
645
00:25:06,559 –> 00:25:10,159
forehead with sweat
646
00:25:08,400 –> 00:25:12,480
you could also just be a mercy angel and
647
00:25:10,159 –> 00:25:14,960
not worry about either one of them
648
00:25:12,480 –> 00:25:16,400
spare them from the next bite you know
649
00:25:14,960 –> 00:25:19,120
that’s probably for the best
650
00:25:16,400 –> 00:25:20,960
i’ll just i’m gonna write them both a
651
00:25:19,120 –> 00:25:23,840
note
652
00:25:20,960 –> 00:25:25,360
with my prescription pad and say hey my
653
00:25:23,840 –> 00:25:26,400
bad like hey i thought you just wanted
654
00:25:25,360 –> 00:25:31,600
to wait this one out
655
00:25:26,400 –> 00:25:31,600
my bad here’s a here’s a lollipop
656
00:25:32,400 –> 00:25:38,159
that’s adorable
657
00:25:33,440 –> 00:25:41,520
[Laughter]
658
00:25:38,159 –> 00:25:42,960
arlo aegon the military doctor has
659
00:25:41,520 –> 00:25:47,039
lollipops on
660
00:25:42,960 –> 00:25:48,720
deck okay so you’re you’re being a mercy
661
00:25:47,039 –> 00:25:51,679
angel for both of them
662
00:25:48,720 –> 00:25:53,600
yeah so with half of the contestants
663
00:25:51,679 –> 00:25:56,960
knocked out
664
00:25:53,600 –> 00:26:00,320
one of them at a meaty 16 the other one
665
00:25:56,960 –> 00:26:02,000
at a perfect 20. becky
666
00:26:00,320 –> 00:26:04,000
brings out the next two dishes she is
667
00:26:02,000 –> 00:26:06,000
now the only one bringing out food as
668
00:26:04,000 –> 00:26:08,159
sweetie puffy boy now gets to just
669
00:26:06,000 –> 00:26:09,919
chill and watch y’all’s potential
670
00:26:08,159 –> 00:26:11,440
enjoyment or suffering depending on how
671
00:26:09,919 –> 00:26:13,440
the next ones go
672
00:26:11,440 –> 00:26:15,200
can sweetie puffy boy sit by me his best
673
00:26:13,440 –> 00:26:17,039
friend oh as
674
00:26:15,200 –> 00:26:20,159
soon as when tara fell out of her chair
675
00:26:17,039 –> 00:26:20,159
he immediately took her seat
676
00:26:20,640 –> 00:26:26,799
i believe in your best friend i i i
677
00:26:24,080 –> 00:26:28,480
like i do i i improvise a secret
678
00:26:26,799 –> 00:26:31,919
handshake with sweetie puffy boy
679
00:26:28,480 –> 00:26:35,520
he somehow knows it yeah
680
00:26:31,919 –> 00:26:39,120
that yeah that’s par for the course
681
00:26:35,520 –> 00:26:42,559
the next dish spicy
682
00:26:39,120 –> 00:26:44,799
sooner spaghetti
683
00:26:42,559 –> 00:26:47,279
and she lifts it up and those might be
684
00:26:44,799 –> 00:26:47,279
noodles
685
00:26:47,440 –> 00:26:51,200
i’m sorry what they are moving which is
686
00:26:50,159 –> 00:26:54,400
weird
687
00:26:51,200 –> 00:26:58,559
why are they moving that’s
688
00:26:54,400 –> 00:26:58,559
the flavor and texture
689
00:27:00,960 –> 00:27:07,440
oh good good all right
690
00:27:04,159 –> 00:27:10,480
you’ve been enjoying this you hush varus
691
00:27:07,440 –> 00:27:13,279
varus my old friend the spirit who
692
00:27:10,480 –> 00:27:17,600
guides me please for the love of god
693
00:27:13,279 –> 00:27:20,960
look on me kindly plus five shut up
694
00:27:17,600 –> 00:27:23,520
oh all right yeah that works out so 21
695
00:27:20,960 –> 00:27:24,720
i’m okay [ __ ] you were good on the die
696
00:27:23,520 –> 00:27:28,720
roll [ __ ] off
697
00:27:24,720 –> 00:27:31,679
uh i don’t like you real bad [ __ ] you
698
00:27:28,720 –> 00:27:33,279
please lord muhammad by all that is holy
699
00:27:31,679 –> 00:27:35,039
and draconic guide me through this
700
00:27:33,279 –> 00:27:36,640
trouble sometimes to eat these moving
701
00:27:35,039 –> 00:27:37,600
noodles that i’m pretty sure is some
702
00:27:36,640 –> 00:27:40,080
kind of
703
00:27:37,600 –> 00:27:42,159
extra dimensional worm oh god i hope you
704
00:27:40,080 –> 00:27:44,960
fail
705
00:27:42,159 –> 00:27:46,480
uh tough [ __ ] homeboy because that’s uh
706
00:27:44,960 –> 00:27:48,399
it’s a 15 on the die
707
00:27:46,480 –> 00:27:50,000
and then like what’s my constitution now
708
00:27:48,399 –> 00:27:52,480
plus four it’s a plus
709
00:27:50,000 –> 00:27:53,200
something you’re good all right big
710
00:27:52,480 –> 00:27:54,720
daddy
711
00:27:53,200 –> 00:27:56,399
it just would have been really funny if
712
00:27:54,720 –> 00:27:58,399
like save had
713
00:27:56,399 –> 00:28:03,840
prayed to her dead friend and got it and
714
00:27:58,399 –> 00:28:03,840
you prayed to a literal god and failed
715
00:28:05,039 –> 00:28:10,080
it was nothing personal i just wanted
716
00:28:06,960 –> 00:28:13,520
that nothing personnel kid
717
00:28:10,080 –> 00:28:16,320
anywho so becky brings out
718
00:28:13,520 –> 00:28:17,440
the next dish which by the way is my
719
00:28:16,320 –> 00:28:18,559
favorite
720
00:28:17,440 –> 00:28:19,919
i thought you said the other one was
721
00:28:18,559 –> 00:28:20,640
your favorite i thought the spaghetti
722
00:28:19,919 –> 00:28:22,399
was your favorite
723
00:28:20,640 –> 00:28:24,240
no i said we were approaching my
724
00:28:22,399 –> 00:28:26,640
favorite he did say that
725
00:28:24,240 –> 00:28:31,840
that’s true this one is my favorite and
726
00:28:26,640 –> 00:28:31,840
you will soon find out why
727
00:28:32,640 –> 00:28:39,840
spicy soda
728
00:28:36,159 –> 00:28:40,920
salmon you don’t even know what you’re
729
00:28:39,840 –> 00:28:43,360
looking at
730
00:28:40,920 –> 00:28:44,399
[Music]
731
00:28:43,360 –> 00:28:46,799
it’s actually the thing that’s looked
732
00:28:44,399 –> 00:28:50,720
the most like fish so far
733
00:28:46,799 –> 00:28:54,960
saints is gonna like look up at arlo
734
00:28:50,720 –> 00:28:57,600
just absolutely exhausted
735
00:28:54,960 –> 00:29:00,000
arlo has half the fish in his mouth
736
00:28:57,600 –> 00:29:00,000
already
737
00:29:00,799 –> 00:29:05,039
arlo has no sense of self preservation
738
00:29:02,640 –> 00:29:08,720
when it comes to food at this point
739
00:29:05,039 –> 00:29:11,760
god bless these blood dice 24
740
00:29:08,720 –> 00:29:15,360
oh you’re good oh well
741
00:29:11,760 –> 00:29:18,559
well i like the sound of that well
742
00:29:15,360 –> 00:29:21,679
well did you credit well well
743
00:29:18,559 –> 00:29:21,679
well that’s a nine
744
00:29:22,559 –> 00:29:26,480
more than the taste it’s more the
745
00:29:24,159 –> 00:29:28,240
concept of a sunnah salmon you just
746
00:29:26,480 –> 00:29:30,480
can’t comprehend it and it
747
00:29:28,240 –> 00:29:31,279
it physically hurts you to eat this
748
00:29:30,480 –> 00:29:33,919
thing as
749
00:29:31,279 –> 00:29:35,919
it is expelled from you almost as soon
750
00:29:33,919 –> 00:29:37,200
as it hits your tongue
751
00:29:35,919 –> 00:29:38,799
i don’t know why but in my head i
752
00:29:37,200 –> 00:29:40,320
imagine he like picks it up to like eat
753
00:29:38,799 –> 00:29:42,159
it and like the fish is like still kind
754
00:29:40,320 –> 00:29:42,880
of alive and somehow scented and it
755
00:29:42,159 –> 00:29:45,520
looks it man it’s
756
00:29:42,880 –> 00:29:47,200
like why would you eat me my friend and
757
00:29:45,520 –> 00:29:48,720
then he just like has an existential
758
00:29:47,200 –> 00:29:52,640
crisis and throws up
759
00:29:48,720 –> 00:29:52,640
that does not happen he hallucinated it
760
00:29:53,039 –> 00:29:56,240
he’s thinking all of this like while
761
00:29:54,480 –> 00:29:58,640
he’s just like kind of bubbling on the
762
00:29:56,240 –> 00:29:58,640
table
763
00:29:58,820 –> 00:30:03,279
[Music]
764
00:30:01,120 –> 00:30:04,399
sweetie puppy boy like caresses your arm
765
00:30:03,279 –> 00:30:06,880
reassuringly
766
00:30:04,399 –> 00:30:08,000
not like anything bad just like you know
767
00:30:06,880 –> 00:30:10,799
like a friend
768
00:30:08,000 –> 00:30:12,480
like it is okay most people who have
769
00:30:10,799 –> 00:30:14,240
this much of big betties begin to
770
00:30:12,480 –> 00:30:16,240
experience real delusions
771
00:30:14,240 –> 00:30:18,480
by the way uh sweetie puffy boy as far
772
00:30:16,240 –> 00:30:21,440
as you know arlo has undergone like a
773
00:30:18,480 –> 00:30:22,000
beautiful squidward-esque transformation
774
00:30:21,440 –> 00:30:26,640
and this does
775
00:30:22,000 –> 00:30:29,440
not face you hello sweetie puffy boy you
776
00:30:26,640 –> 00:30:32,799
beautiful round man
777
00:30:29,440 –> 00:30:34,480
thank you you are also beautiful and
778
00:30:32,799 –> 00:30:38,159
spherical
779
00:30:34,480 –> 00:30:41,600
thank you you should model for
780
00:30:38,159 –> 00:30:44,320
fantasy maxum magazine
781
00:30:41,600 –> 00:30:45,679
oh the the almost pornography magazine
782
00:30:44,320 –> 00:30:50,000
but not quite
783
00:30:45,679 –> 00:30:52,480
no no not that one
784
00:30:50,000 –> 00:30:56,480
the kind that some young boys found in
785
00:30:52,480 –> 00:30:56,480
father’s bathroom when they were younger
786
00:30:58,240 –> 00:31:04,560
why do i feel like that’s a real memory
787
00:31:00,559 –> 00:31:06,500
for you
788
00:31:04,560 –> 00:31:09,539
[Applause]
789
00:31:06,500 –> 00:31:09,539
[Music]
790
00:31:10,640 –> 00:31:15,519
i wonder what this is oh good golly gosh
791
00:31:16,240 –> 00:31:20,240
let’s just say i’m real glad that dad
792
00:31:17,519 –> 00:31:20,240
does not listen to that
793
00:31:21,200 –> 00:31:28,159
i feel strange in my pants all right
794
00:31:25,200 –> 00:31:28,799
okay all right that’s making me more
795
00:31:28,159 –> 00:31:32,880
sick
796
00:31:28,799 –> 00:31:35,840
than the big betty’s
797
00:31:32,880 –> 00:31:37,200
bring out the next plate come on the
798
00:31:35,840 –> 00:31:38,600
magazines that they’re placed on top of
799
00:31:37,200 –> 00:31:41,940
their really good magazines
800
00:31:38,600 –> 00:31:41,940
[Music]
801
00:31:42,190 –> 00:31:46,799
[Applause]
802
00:31:43,840 –> 00:31:46,799
okay
803
00:31:47,040 –> 00:31:50,880
[Laughter]
804
00:31:49,279 –> 00:31:52,720
you know the magazines when you go to
805
00:31:50,880 –> 00:31:55,760
the convenience store they are in like
806
00:31:52,720 –> 00:31:55,760
your separate section
807
00:31:57,120 –> 00:32:00,960
i don’t want to think about little
808
00:31:58,720 –> 00:32:01,840
little 15 year old jordan finding a
809
00:32:00,960 –> 00:32:06,080
magazine
810
00:32:01,840 –> 00:32:06,080
in his father’s bathroom please let’s go
811
00:32:06,640 –> 00:32:09,120
stop it
812
00:32:12,000 –> 00:32:17,519
so to rush us along big maggie comes out
813
00:32:14,480 –> 00:32:17,519
with the next dish
814
00:32:17,600 –> 00:32:25,120
the earth the spicy
815
00:32:21,919 –> 00:32:27,200
sooner stink
816
00:32:25,120 –> 00:32:28,399
and she opens it up and it almost looks
817
00:32:27,200 –> 00:32:32,480
like a t-bone steak
818
00:32:28,399 –> 00:32:32,480
but wrong i
819
00:32:32,960 –> 00:32:36,559
okay honestly what do you expect at this
820
00:32:35,600 –> 00:32:40,960
point
821
00:32:36,559 –> 00:32:42,640
yeah i know i know okay
822
00:32:40,960 –> 00:32:44,399
oh looks at the plate and like he
823
00:32:42,640 –> 00:32:47,679
legitimately goes but why
824
00:32:44,399 –> 00:32:51,200
though why monk
825
00:32:47,679 –> 00:32:53,840
i i i got another 24. i’m good
826
00:32:51,200 –> 00:32:54,960
all right ponybone dice you’re gonna be
827
00:32:53,840 –> 00:32:58,000
good
828
00:32:54,960 –> 00:33:01,760
bunny bun dice looking pretty good
829
00:32:58,000 –> 00:33:04,960
that’s a 16. you’re good
830
00:33:01,760 –> 00:33:07,760
have you hit 20 yet no
831
00:33:04,960 –> 00:33:09,519
i keep like i get like kind of far ahead
832
00:33:07,760 –> 00:33:13,200
and i [ __ ] up and it takes me back oh
833
00:33:09,519 –> 00:33:15,120
yeah that’s right you failed the salmon
834
00:33:13,200 –> 00:33:17,360
that’s only plus one every time and then
835
00:33:15,120 –> 00:33:20,559
minus three if you fail
836
00:33:17,360 –> 00:33:22,240
it is very skewed towards failure yeah i
837
00:33:20,559 –> 00:33:24,480
know almost like i wanted it to be like
838
00:33:22,240 –> 00:33:26,640
a dangerous challenge or something
839
00:33:24,480 –> 00:33:28,720
almost as if that way you have to con
840
00:33:26,640 –> 00:33:30,480
consecutively succeed like a saith or an
841
00:33:28,720 –> 00:33:32,720
arlo as opposed to fail
842
00:33:30,480 –> 00:33:35,840
early on and not be able to recover like
843
00:33:32,720 –> 00:33:37,360
a bookworm or a wintera
844
00:33:35,840 –> 00:33:39,039
look my dice just decided today was the
845
00:33:37,360 –> 00:33:41,039
day they want to roll under 10 every
846
00:33:39,039 –> 00:33:43,679
single time i’m just
847
00:33:41,039 –> 00:33:45,679
and i thank them for it i mean saith
848
00:33:43,679 –> 00:33:48,080
never rolls poorly honestly we should
849
00:33:45,679 –> 00:33:51,519
have her roll all of the rolls
850
00:33:48,080 –> 00:33:53,039
that’s probably yes well fortunately
851
00:33:51,519 –> 00:33:53,519
only one of you needed to succeed so i
852
00:33:53,039 –> 00:33:55,200
think you
853
00:33:53,519 –> 00:33:56,799
you guys should be like at this point
854
00:33:55,200 –> 00:33:58,640
it’s kind of like a victory lap i don’t
855
00:33:56,799 –> 00:33:59,840
think you guys are
856
00:33:58,640 –> 00:34:01,919
you guys are far enough a lot that you
857
00:33:59,840 –> 00:34:04,840
cannot fail this
858
00:34:01,919 –> 00:34:07,600
all right yeah let’s finish up let’s do
859
00:34:04,840 –> 00:34:08,879
this
860
00:34:07,600 –> 00:34:11,760
she just magically operates out of
861
00:34:08,879 –> 00:34:14,879
nowhere you did not see her come in
862
00:34:11,760 –> 00:34:18,320
the spicy sooner
863
00:34:14,879 –> 00:34:21,280
sorbet and it does just look like
864
00:34:18,320 –> 00:34:23,119
fish ice cream like the one that i drew
865
00:34:21,280 –> 00:34:24,399
in that picture of her
866
00:34:23,119 –> 00:34:26,720
sure i’ll pretend to remember the
867
00:34:24,399 –> 00:34:29,200
details of it
868
00:34:26,720 –> 00:34:31,200
i was over there like you know what i’m
869
00:34:29,200 –> 00:34:31,839
not you know i i don’t i don’t know what
870
00:34:31,200 –> 00:34:35,599
i thought
871
00:34:31,839 –> 00:34:38,000
it would be eighteen
872
00:34:35,599 –> 00:34:38,879
so nineteen on the die i don’t feel like
873
00:34:38,000 –> 00:34:42,079
doing math
874
00:34:38,879 –> 00:34:43,839
i think you’re good so as you guys do
875
00:34:42,079 –> 00:34:46,960
this
876
00:34:43,839 –> 00:34:47,679
becky comes out with the final dish and
877
00:34:46,960 –> 00:34:50,000
this one
878
00:34:47,679 –> 00:34:50,879
is not in its own separate cartouche it
879
00:34:50,000 –> 00:34:53,919
is rather in
880
00:34:50,879 –> 00:34:56,560
a giant one that expands the entire
881
00:34:53,919 –> 00:34:59,920
length of the table
882
00:34:56,560 –> 00:35:03,440
mind you this table is fit for like a
883
00:34:59,920 –> 00:35:05,520
banquet so think
884
00:35:03,440 –> 00:35:06,720
like from beauty and the beast beast
885
00:35:05,520 –> 00:35:10,400
dining room table
886
00:35:06,720 –> 00:35:12,800
it’s that big yeah that’s no
887
00:35:10,400 –> 00:35:14,839
okay and she is lifting it one-handed
888
00:35:12,800 –> 00:35:18,079
over her head like a typical
889
00:35:14,839 –> 00:35:19,119
like server would yeah that sounds about
890
00:35:18,079 –> 00:35:23,599
right
891
00:35:19,119 –> 00:35:26,800
the final dish and the most delicious
892
00:35:23,599 –> 00:35:31,839
or deadly the
893
00:35:26,800 –> 00:35:31,839
ultimate sooner
894
00:35:33,920 –> 00:35:37,839
and as she slams this dish down in front
895
00:35:37,280 –> 00:35:40,160
of you
896
00:35:37,839 –> 00:35:42,160
all of your chairs lift a good foot off
897
00:35:40,160 –> 00:35:45,359
the ground before slamming back
898
00:35:42,160 –> 00:35:48,480
down she lifts it up and underneath it
899
00:35:45,359 –> 00:35:51,200
is just this ginormous fish-like
900
00:35:48,480 –> 00:35:52,720
creature that extends the entire length
901
00:35:51,200 –> 00:35:55,040
of the table
902
00:35:52,720 –> 00:35:55,920
to answer your question from earlier
903
00:35:55,040 –> 00:35:59,200
this
904
00:35:55,920 –> 00:36:00,480
is a sunnah not gonna lie out expecting
905
00:35:59,200 –> 00:36:02,000
something that was like a tiny little
906
00:36:00,480 –> 00:36:03,680
piranha fish or something
907
00:36:02,000 –> 00:36:05,920
what kind of [ __ ] fish you think i cook
908
00:36:03,680 –> 00:36:09,280
with have you seen a piranha
909
00:36:05,920 –> 00:36:12,480
where can you even catch this thing
910
00:36:09,280 –> 00:36:13,280
company secret the boss will be very mad
911
00:36:12,480 –> 00:36:15,680
if i tell her
912
00:36:13,280 –> 00:36:17,040
or you or if she finds out i can’t tell
913
00:36:15,680 –> 00:36:19,599
your company’s secrets
914
00:36:17,040 –> 00:36:22,160
girl come on betty you can tell us we’ve
915
00:36:19,599 –> 00:36:23,680
been customers for so long now
916
00:36:22,160 –> 00:36:25,359
i mean i could tell you but i have to
917
00:36:23,680 –> 00:36:28,400
immediately kill you
918
00:36:25,359 –> 00:36:30,160
nevermind don’t want to know so for this
919
00:36:28,400 –> 00:36:32,720
one because it is the ultimate
920
00:36:30,160 –> 00:36:34,240
sooner prize this is more just me having
921
00:36:32,720 –> 00:36:35,599
some last minute fun you roll it at
922
00:36:34,240 –> 00:36:38,480
disadvantage
923
00:36:35,599 –> 00:36:40,079
okay what if on one of the rolls we got
924
00:36:38,480 –> 00:36:41,760
something really good that we want to
925
00:36:40,079 –> 00:36:44,160
keep
926
00:36:41,760 –> 00:36:45,280
well then you hope that the other guy
927
00:36:44,160 –> 00:36:48,400
compliments that
928
00:36:45,280 –> 00:36:49,760
quit yeah i didn’t i rolled up jordan
929
00:36:48,400 –> 00:36:55,839
please
930
00:36:49,760 –> 00:36:55,839
no let me have another one please
931
00:36:58,720 –> 00:37:02,240
roll again and hope you get another one
932
00:37:03,920 –> 00:37:08,640
oh please be in that one this is 17 of
933
00:37:06,240 –> 00:37:10,880
the dive but i wanted it
934
00:37:08,640 –> 00:37:11,680
well i mean the 17 still passes so you
935
00:37:10,880 –> 00:37:14,160
hand
936
00:37:11,680 –> 00:37:16,720
you arlo are the only one who is capable
937
00:37:14,160 –> 00:37:19,359
of handling the ultimate soon enterprise
938
00:37:16,720 –> 00:37:20,000
as safe for the first time this whole
939
00:37:19,359 –> 00:37:23,280
meal
940
00:37:20,000 –> 00:37:25,920
yards it yeah so
941
00:37:23,280 –> 00:37:26,400
you you you see her just turn come you
942
00:37:25,920 –> 00:37:30,000
know from
943
00:37:26,400 –> 00:37:33,920
from her purplish gray to
944
00:37:30,000 –> 00:37:37,839
green deep deep green
945
00:37:33,920 –> 00:37:37,839
and she just
946
00:37:38,240 –> 00:37:41,480
[Applause]
947
00:37:42,320 –> 00:37:46,000
and it just like keeps coming it’s the
948
00:37:45,040 –> 00:37:49,520
whole
949
00:37:46,000 –> 00:37:53,200
meal the whole meal
950
00:37:49,520 –> 00:37:57,119
and you see it all the sorbet the steak
951
00:37:53,200 –> 00:37:59,839
the salmon the still moving spaghetti
952
00:37:57,119 –> 00:38:00,480
the questionable salad greens maybe and
953
00:37:59,839 –> 00:38:02,880
finally
954
00:38:00,480 –> 00:38:04,160
the mostly digested at this point sticks
955
00:38:02,880 –> 00:38:05,599
you’re not quite sure how that works
956
00:38:04,160 –> 00:38:07,359
because that’s not how digestive
957
00:38:05,599 –> 00:38:09,280
that’s not how digestion works but [ __ ]
958
00:38:07,359 –> 00:38:10,960
it no and
959
00:38:09,280 –> 00:38:12,960
like i was like arlo’s like eyes like
960
00:38:10,960 –> 00:38:14,320
shoot open and like from the outside
961
00:38:12,960 –> 00:38:15,599
almost looks like you you see like
962
00:38:14,320 –> 00:38:17,119
galaxies in them
963
00:38:15,599 –> 00:38:19,040
but inside is mine it’s like that
964
00:38:17,119 –> 00:38:20,800
[ __ ] um that scene from ratatouille
965
00:38:19,040 –> 00:38:23,760
where the reviewer like remembers his
966
00:38:20,800 –> 00:38:25,440
childhood when he eats the food
967
00:38:23,760 –> 00:38:27,440
but he remembers like his first like
968
00:38:25,440 –> 00:38:30,400
like his first love
969
00:38:27,440 –> 00:38:30,880
in like [ __ ] like back when he was
970
00:38:30,400 –> 00:38:33,920
like
971
00:38:30,880 –> 00:38:35,119
like in military college medical college
972
00:38:33,920 –> 00:38:38,320
whatever
973
00:38:35,119 –> 00:38:39,599
and he’s just like whoa and then like
974
00:38:38,320 –> 00:38:42,720
you just hear a
975
00:38:39,599 –> 00:38:45,040
dull scaly thud from the bottom of the
976
00:38:42,720 –> 00:38:45,040
table
977
00:38:45,440 –> 00:38:48,480
gross
978
00:38:46,760 –> 00:38:52,720
[Laughter]
979
00:38:48,480 –> 00:38:55,119
and as safe heaves up the entire course
980
00:38:52,720 –> 00:38:56,560
and arlo slams under the table with his
981
00:38:55,119 –> 00:38:58,720
boner
982
00:38:56,560 –> 00:39:00,160
i didn’t say it was a boater yeah you
983
00:38:58,720 –> 00:39:02,079
implied it heavily don’t give me that
984
00:39:00,160 –> 00:39:03,599
[ __ ]
985
00:39:02,079 –> 00:39:05,359
your mind is the one in the gutter
986
00:39:03,599 –> 00:39:08,720
jordan i’m just talking about
987
00:39:05,359 –> 00:39:10,079
this life man we were talking about
988
00:39:08,720 –> 00:39:11,440
dirty magazines earlier i don’t want to
989
00:39:10,079 –> 00:39:15,200
hear it
990
00:39:11,440 –> 00:39:17,040
but as these things happen confetti
991
00:39:15,200 –> 00:39:19,599
shoots from the sky in a banner that
992
00:39:17,040 –> 00:39:22,720
says congratulations you lived
993
00:39:19,599 –> 00:39:26,079
spreads across the table on top of what
994
00:39:22,720 –> 00:39:28,640
is remaining of the ultimate sunnah
995
00:39:26,079 –> 00:39:29,520
and a green light envelops all of you
996
00:39:28,640 –> 00:39:34,800
unconscious
997
00:39:29,520 –> 00:39:34,800
and all and you are teleported away
998
00:39:36,880 –> 00:39:42,720
arlo arlo arlo i need a drink
999
00:39:40,960 –> 00:39:44,720
arlo please i need to get this taste out
1000
00:39:42,720 –> 00:39:47,520
of my mouth arlo’s still like
1001
00:39:44,720 –> 00:39:49,599
in it like arlo’s still like that like
1002
00:39:47,520 –> 00:39:52,640
that food induced fantasy
1003
00:39:49,599 –> 00:39:57,280
arlo for the love of god
1004
00:39:52,640 –> 00:39:59,599
dad what happened
1005
00:39:57,280 –> 00:40:02,160
something stiff give me give me a drink
1006
00:39:59,599 –> 00:40:04,640
man a drink
1007
00:40:02,160 –> 00:40:10,160
stiff and they ask you about a little
1008
00:40:04,640 –> 00:40:12,480
vial of whiskey
1009
00:40:10,160 –> 00:40:13,920
so as this exchange happens you guys
1010
00:40:12,480 –> 00:40:15,359
take in your surroundings and realize
1011
00:40:13,920 –> 00:40:18,800
that you have been brought into an
1012
00:40:15,359 –> 00:40:19,440
empty room with another door on the side
1013
00:40:18,800 –> 00:40:21,599
of it
1014
00:40:19,440 –> 00:40:24,000
there is also a scroll in there at this
1015
00:40:21,599 –> 00:40:25,520
point bookworm and wintera have regained
1016
00:40:24,000 –> 00:40:27,760
consciousness though they are not
1017
00:40:25,520 –> 00:40:29,839
looking good at all
1018
00:40:27,760 –> 00:40:31,200
do our con modifiers stay the same
1019
00:40:29,839 –> 00:40:32,960
jordan
1020
00:40:31,200 –> 00:40:34,880
uh maybe you should read the scroll and
1021
00:40:32,960 –> 00:40:38,480
figure out what’s going on
1022
00:40:34,880 –> 00:40:41,599
all right arlo you are the winner so
1023
00:40:38,480 –> 00:40:43,920
technically you both were wait i won he
1024
00:40:41,599 –> 00:40:47,280
won the last round
1025
00:40:43,920 –> 00:40:49,839
i was kind of in the middle of a thing
1026
00:40:47,280 –> 00:40:52,400
get over it no someone just read the
1027
00:40:49,839 –> 00:40:55,359
[ __ ] scroll
1028
00:40:52,400 –> 00:40:56,720
arlo reads the scroll so it tells you
1029
00:40:55,359 –> 00:40:58,480
that
1030
00:40:56,720 –> 00:41:00,560
it’s basically a congratulatory thing
1031
00:40:58,480 –> 00:41:01,680
saying you managed to survive something
1032
00:41:00,560 –> 00:41:03,280
that very few people have
1033
00:41:01,680 –> 00:41:05,920
however even the most hearted of
1034
00:41:03,280 –> 00:41:06,880
champions need to rest after enduring
1035
00:41:05,920 –> 00:41:10,400
the 10 course
1036
00:41:06,880 –> 00:41:12,240
sunnah hell gauntlet and so you all may
1037
00:41:10,400 –> 00:41:13,920
take as long as you need in order to
1038
00:41:12,240 –> 00:41:14,720
rest and recuperate before continuing on
1039
00:41:13,920 –> 00:41:18,560
with your trials
1040
00:41:14,720 –> 00:41:18,560
you may all take a long rest
1041
00:41:19,280 –> 00:41:22,720
and yes your constitution modifiers go
1042
00:41:21,760 –> 00:41:24,880
back to normal
1043
00:41:22,720 –> 00:41:27,839
that was only for the trial oh god i
1044
00:41:24,880 –> 00:41:27,839
need that long rest
1045
00:41:28,480 –> 00:41:31,440
so while you guys are doing this if you
1046
00:41:29,599 –> 00:41:31,920
guys want to like chat about anything
1047
00:41:31,440 –> 00:41:34,800
you are
1048
00:41:31,920 –> 00:41:35,760
free to do so when tara just finds a
1049
00:41:34,800 –> 00:41:37,839
corner
1050
00:41:35,760 –> 00:41:39,760
and she glares at everyone and then she
1051
00:41:37,839 –> 00:41:42,800
plops into the corner and she
1052
00:41:39,760 –> 00:41:46,000
sits there just seething about the food
1053
00:41:42,800 –> 00:41:47,680
that she just had to ingest in her body
1054
00:41:46,000 –> 00:41:50,079
that is all she does she refuses to
1055
00:41:47,680 –> 00:41:52,640
speak with anyone
1056
00:41:50,079 –> 00:41:53,119
anyone else feeling chattier harlow goes
1057
00:41:52,640 –> 00:41:54,800
over
1058
00:41:53,119 –> 00:41:55,670
when tara who doesn’t want to speak to
1059
00:41:54,800 –> 00:41:58,160
anyone
1060
00:41:55,670 –> 00:42:02,130
[Music]
1061
00:41:58,160 –> 00:42:03,680
hey uh hey when tara doing okay
1062
00:42:02,130 –> 00:42:07,599
[Music]
1063
00:42:03,680 –> 00:42:10,000
do it all right champ arlo
1064
00:42:07,599 –> 00:42:11,920
so help me by all of the forest spirits
1065
00:42:10,000 –> 00:42:15,520
and the ghosts that live in the trees
1066
00:42:11,920 –> 00:42:17,280
i will take your knees if you do not
1067
00:42:15,520 –> 00:42:21,280
leave me alone
1068
00:42:17,280 –> 00:42:23,760
arlo give the wild animal some space
1069
00:42:21,280 –> 00:42:25,280
i understand you want space but i i i do
1070
00:42:23,760 –> 00:42:26,720
have to ask did you just say ghosts in
1071
00:42:25,280 –> 00:42:30,480
the trees
1072
00:42:26,720 –> 00:42:33,040
what’s good all day that’s concerning
1073
00:42:30,480 –> 00:42:34,880
yeah you know three ghosts are there
1074
00:42:33,040 –> 00:42:36,560
with tara like i know you’re upset but
1075
00:42:34,880 –> 00:42:38,240
are there tree ghosts you have to tell
1076
00:42:36,560 –> 00:42:45,839
me
1077
00:42:38,240 –> 00:42:45,839
oh it’s trapping
1078
00:42:47,200 –> 00:42:50,400
all right all right all right i’m going
1079
00:42:50,079 –> 00:42:53,119
are
1080
00:42:50,400 –> 00:42:54,319
those leaves with like the lingering
1081
00:42:53,119 –> 00:42:56,480
question of like
1082
00:42:54,319 –> 00:42:57,599
yo are they just are there ghosts in
1083
00:42:56,480 –> 00:43:00,240
certain trees
1084
00:42:57,599 –> 00:43:02,079
do all trees have ghosts the ghosts only
1085
00:43:00,240 –> 00:43:03,920
actually accumulate in trees
1086
00:43:02,079 –> 00:43:05,440
is that like a rule of trees like he’s
1087
00:43:03,920 –> 00:43:06,800
got so many questions
1088
00:43:05,440 –> 00:43:08,400
these are questions i also now feel
1089
00:43:06,800 –> 00:43:09,839
compelled to answer to potentially use
1090
00:43:08,400 –> 00:43:13,520
against y’all
1091
00:43:09,839 –> 00:43:14,800
oh god okay so exactly for everyone
1092
00:43:13,520 –> 00:43:16,720
everyone’s good
1093
00:43:14,800 –> 00:43:18,880
give me a second i’m changing my spells
1094
00:43:16,720 –> 00:43:22,400
to things that are more utility-based
1095
00:43:18,880 –> 00:43:25,440
okay all right i’m ready so you guys
1096
00:43:22,400 –> 00:43:28,560
make your way over towards the door
1097
00:43:25,440 –> 00:43:29,040
and as you open it you come into what
1098
00:43:28,560 –> 00:43:32,079
almost
1099
00:43:29,040 –> 00:43:36,240
appears to be a gladiator style
1100
00:43:32,079 –> 00:43:38,720
arena there are no
1101
00:43:36,240 –> 00:43:40,000
people in the stands and yet you can
1102
00:43:38,720 –> 00:43:43,920
still hear
1103
00:43:40,000 –> 00:43:46,960
a rousing applause around you
1104
00:43:43,920 –> 00:43:50,160
and from the far end you see a gate
1105
00:43:46,960 –> 00:43:54,079
open as a figure begins
1106
00:43:50,160 –> 00:43:58,079
to emerge and as the figure
1107
00:43:54,079 –> 00:44:01,200
enters your field of vision you see
1108
00:43:58,079 –> 00:44:04,240
a small girl
1109
00:44:01,200 –> 00:44:08,079
she is wearing a fairly unassuming
1110
00:44:04,240 –> 00:44:11,839
dress with a pendant around
1111
00:44:08,079 –> 00:44:15,040
that has a large number four
1112
00:44:11,839 –> 00:44:16,079
uh emblazoned on it and as she
1113
00:44:15,040 –> 00:44:19,200
approaches you all
1114
00:44:16,079 –> 00:44:22,880
she says are you ready to get
1115
00:44:19,200 –> 00:44:24,319
because i’m here to kick your stupid
1116
00:44:22,880 –> 00:44:25,839
i don’t know if you’re allowed to use
1117
00:44:24,319 –> 00:44:27,200
that kind of language young lady don’t
1118
00:44:25,839 –> 00:44:31,280
make me get my chair
1119
00:44:27,200 –> 00:44:33,760
eat my lizard boy oh boy
1120
00:44:31,280 –> 00:44:35,599
why do you remind me of somebody don’t
1121
00:44:33,760 –> 00:44:38,640
know [ __ ] you
1122
00:44:35,599 –> 00:44:41,760
where are your parents [ __ ] you
1123
00:44:38,640 –> 00:44:42,160
anybody else like i i can’t be the only
1124
00:44:41,760 –> 00:44:45,359
one
1125
00:44:42,160 –> 00:44:48,800
that feels like this this little one is
1126
00:44:45,359 –> 00:44:51,200
is very familiar
1127
00:44:48,800 –> 00:44:52,400
doesn’t ring a bell to me yeah no
1128
00:44:51,200 –> 00:44:55,119
couldn’t place it
1129
00:44:52,400 –> 00:44:56,079
is she walking or floating she’s walking
1130
00:44:55,119 –> 00:44:59,119
she’s walking
1131
00:44:56,079 –> 00:45:02,560
she’s walking do you have a brother
1132
00:44:59,119 –> 00:45:05,680
why should i tell you anything i just
1133
00:45:02,560 –> 00:45:07,359
shut up horny haha she calls you horny
1134
00:45:05,680 –> 00:45:10,000
because you have horns and also because
1135
00:45:07,359 –> 00:45:12,000
you’re very horny shut up horny
1136
00:45:10,000 –> 00:45:13,520
when tara is already on all fours and is
1137
00:45:12,000 –> 00:45:15,440
ready to fight
1138
00:45:13,520 –> 00:45:18,000
good you caught the gist everyone roll
1139
00:45:15,440 –> 00:45:20,000
initiative oh god
1140
00:45:18,000 –> 00:45:22,160
what the [ __ ] is wrong with every single
1141
00:45:20,000 –> 00:45:24,400
dice i rolled today god [ __ ] damn it
1142
00:45:22,160 –> 00:45:27,520
that was a seven
1143
00:45:24,400 –> 00:45:32,400
i’m not anybody i got a five teen
1144
00:45:27,520 –> 00:45:34,640
i’m an i’m uh i’m a seven as well okay
1145
00:45:32,400 –> 00:45:36,960
oh wait my initiative is plus seven so
1146
00:45:34,640 –> 00:45:41,040
that’s actually a ten
1147
00:45:36,960 –> 00:45:42,880
okay cool arlo you oh hey
1148
00:45:41,040 –> 00:45:44,160
yes arlo you are up first assuming what
1149
00:45:42,880 –> 00:45:46,480
you mean is fifteen
1150
00:45:44,160 –> 00:45:47,760
i do mean fifteen okay then yeah you’re
1151
00:45:46,480 –> 00:45:51,280
up first
1152
00:45:47,760 –> 00:45:52,400
let’s see i just respect away from
1153
00:45:51,280 –> 00:45:55,040
combat so that’s
1154
00:45:52,400 –> 00:45:56,480
cool yeah i know i heard you say utility
1155
00:45:55,040 –> 00:45:56,960
and i got a little giddy to myself
1156
00:45:56,480 –> 00:45:58,800
honestly
1157
00:45:56,960 –> 00:46:00,560
[Laughter]
1158
00:45:58,800 –> 00:46:01,839
i just took out a bunch of damaging
1159
00:46:00,560 –> 00:46:04,160
spells for things that could be
1160
00:46:01,839 –> 00:46:06,960
conditionally useful to cover
1161
00:46:04,160 –> 00:46:07,359
crazy [ __ ] happening and now my crazy
1162
00:46:06,960 –> 00:46:09,599
[ __ ]
1163
00:46:07,359 –> 00:46:12,319
is enough to fight this little monster
1164
00:46:09,599 –> 00:46:15,520
girl yeah i assume
1165
00:46:12,319 –> 00:46:17,920
cool cool i am all right with that but
1166
00:46:15,520 –> 00:46:20,480
you know what i always stalk jordan
1167
00:46:17,920 –> 00:46:22,480
you know what never leaves my arsenal
1168
00:46:20,480 –> 00:46:25,440
detect magic
1169
00:46:22,480 –> 00:46:27,839
[ __ ] you in the mouth um i’m gonna cast
1170
00:46:25,440 –> 00:46:31,280
a guiding bolt
1171
00:46:27,839 –> 00:46:35,200
right i’m gonna cast it at
1172
00:46:31,280 –> 00:46:38,560
a fourth level okay go ahead and do that
1173
00:46:35,200 –> 00:46:41,200
that’s the 17 to hit hits
1174
00:46:38,560 –> 00:46:44,640
what is the damage die on that again so
1175
00:46:41,200 –> 00:46:47,200
it’s 4d6 radiant damage plus the
1176
00:46:44,640 –> 00:46:49,280
cash on the fourth level so it’s gonna
1177
00:46:47,200 –> 00:46:51,599
be 7d6 radio damage
1178
00:46:49,280 –> 00:46:52,800
cool i don’t like that you said that
1179
00:46:51,599 –> 00:46:55,520
with like no
1180
00:46:52,800 –> 00:46:56,400
i know worries no no it’s fine it’s fine
1181
00:46:55,520 –> 00:46:58,880
go ahead roll it
1182
00:46:56,400 –> 00:47:00,400
you said that on some hakuna matata [ __ ]
1183
00:46:58,880 –> 00:47:02,000
you said like means no worries for the
1184
00:47:00,400 –> 00:47:04,240
rest of your day he’s like 76
1185
00:47:02,000 –> 00:47:05,680
cool i’ll eat that like either this is
1186
00:47:04,240 –> 00:47:06,400
gonna be like yeah roll your damage
1187
00:47:05,680 –> 00:47:09,359
you’re gonna be like
1188
00:47:06,400 –> 00:47:10,160
yeah [ _ ] you drew you [ _ ] it doesn’t
1189
00:47:09,359 –> 00:47:12,079
count and
1190
00:47:10,160 –> 00:47:13,839
or it’s gonna be like yeah you damaged
1191
00:47:12,079 –> 00:47:17,680
her but she’s immortal
1192
00:47:13,839 –> 00:47:19,359
and also she [ __ ] you in the eye
1193
00:47:17,680 –> 00:47:21,119
that sounds like the same thing with two
1194
00:47:19,359 –> 00:47:22,960
different flavors
1195
00:47:21,119 –> 00:47:25,520
they’re two different flavors i’ve had a
1196
00:47:22,960 –> 00:47:30,400
lot of podcasting juice
1197
00:47:25,520 –> 00:47:34,079
oh god all right let’s do some math
1198
00:47:30,400 –> 00:47:36,559
20 damage cool
1199
00:47:34,079 –> 00:47:39,760
so you send out your most powerful
1200
00:47:36,559 –> 00:47:42,400
guiding bolt it careens towards this
1201
00:47:39,760 –> 00:47:45,839
unassuming young child with the
1202
00:47:42,400 –> 00:47:49,200
deeply deeply upsetting vulgar tone
1203
00:47:45,839 –> 00:47:52,720
and it explodes in a radiant burst
1204
00:47:49,200 –> 00:47:57,599
of energy as the light
1205
00:47:52,720 –> 00:48:00,640
fades she looks unfazed
1206
00:47:57,599 –> 00:48:02,640
do you do you experience joy from
1207
00:48:00,640 –> 00:48:05,760
hurting me on a personal level
1208
00:48:02,640 –> 00:48:09,599
yes actually i do sorry i make a good dm
1209
00:48:05,760 –> 00:48:11,370
you’re uh you got a healthy person
1210
00:48:09,599 –> 00:48:14,400
you’re not a healthy person
1211
00:48:11,370 –> 00:48:17,680
[Laughter]
1212
00:48:14,400 –> 00:48:20,640
my dollies hit harder than you you lift
1213
00:48:17,680 –> 00:48:22,160
hey my penis works very well yeah i
1214
00:48:20,640 –> 00:48:23,760
noticed you’re still got a raising heart
1215
00:48:22,160 –> 00:48:27,599
on from the food
1216
00:48:23,760 –> 00:48:29,599
pervert arlo like looks down and like
1217
00:48:27,599 –> 00:48:31,520
spends all the rest of his turn just
1218
00:48:29,599 –> 00:48:32,640
like trying to cover his butter like oh
1219
00:48:31,520 –> 00:48:34,310
no
1220
00:48:32,640 –> 00:48:37,200
oh good i have confirmation excellent
1221
00:48:34,310 –> 00:48:40,079
[Laughter]
1222
00:48:37,200 –> 00:48:41,920
i thought it was gone oh boy i mean it
1223
00:48:40,079 –> 00:48:45,040
was hard to see
1224
00:48:41,920 –> 00:48:45,040
it’s so turden
1225
00:48:46,720 –> 00:48:55,839
so next up it is sate’s turn
1226
00:48:51,040 –> 00:48:58,640
and say before you can do anything
1227
00:48:55,839 –> 00:49:00,559
modi hops off your shoulder and begins
1228
00:48:58,640 –> 00:49:04,160
to walk forward
1229
00:49:00,559 –> 00:49:05,760
what is it my fine furry friend
1230
00:49:04,160 –> 00:49:08,319
he continues on for a little bit and
1231
00:49:05,760 –> 00:49:10,079
then stops and turns around and sits
1232
00:49:08,319 –> 00:49:13,280
down facing you
1233
00:49:10,079 –> 00:49:15,200
he has his head facing downwards and his
1234
00:49:13,280 –> 00:49:16,559
shoulders are sort of like going up and
1235
00:49:15,200 –> 00:49:19,440
down rapidly
1236
00:49:16,559 –> 00:49:30,559
almost as if he’s breathing very heavily
1237
00:49:19,440 –> 00:49:36,480
he’s in his murder pounce mode
1238
00:49:30,559 –> 00:49:36,480
oh no oh no it’s the bone it’s the bone
1239
00:49:42,839 –> 00:49:45,839
hello
1240
00:49:52,160 –> 00:49:59,839
i hope you enjoy my
1241
00:50:00,240 –> 00:50:04,800
and safe you feel something you have
1242
00:50:04,079 –> 00:50:08,160
never
1243
00:50:04,800 –> 00:50:11,280
felt before starting
1244
00:50:08,160 –> 00:50:12,000
from your forehead and reaching through
1245
00:50:11,280 –> 00:50:15,760
the rest of your
1246
00:50:12,000 –> 00:50:19,280
body you feel the sensation
1247
00:50:15,760 –> 00:50:20,559
of burning you’ve been able to handle
1248
00:50:19,280 –> 00:50:22,480
flames before you
1249
00:50:20,559 –> 00:50:24,240
walk through them to intimidate some of
1250
00:50:22,480 –> 00:50:27,520
your bounties
1251
00:50:24,240 –> 00:50:29,280
but now it feels like what
1252
00:50:27,520 –> 00:50:31,280
you think a normal person might
1253
00:50:29,280 –> 00:50:34,880
experience walking through flames
1254
00:50:31,280 –> 00:50:37,760
maybe even worse as you are hunched over
1255
00:50:34,880 –> 00:50:38,720
in pain for the rest of you who might be
1256
00:50:37,760 –> 00:50:42,079
seeing this
1257
00:50:38,720 –> 00:50:44,640
on her forehead a blue flame engulfs a
1258
00:50:42,079 –> 00:50:46,400
small section of it creating a symbol
1259
00:50:44,640 –> 00:50:48,160
it is a three-quarter circle with the
1260
00:50:46,400 –> 00:50:50,800
top open and two lines
1261
00:50:48,160 –> 00:50:51,760
splitting off and a line going straight
1262
00:50:50,800 –> 00:50:54,000
down the middle
1263
00:50:51,760 –> 00:50:56,079
it looks almost like some sort of horned
1264
00:50:54,000 –> 00:51:00,880
beast
1265
00:50:56,079 –> 00:51:03,760
say you are reeling in pain from this
1266
00:51:00,880 –> 00:51:04,240
and modi comes up to you his eyes
1267
00:51:03,760 –> 00:51:09,839
looking
1268
00:51:04,240 –> 00:51:09,839
just like that of asmodeus as he says
1269
00:51:19,599 –> 00:51:28,240
do you accept this power boy
1270
00:51:23,599 –> 00:51:28,240
oh boy oh boy
1271
00:51:28,319 –> 00:51:34,800
anything to make it stop burning as you
1272
00:51:32,160 –> 00:51:38,559
sit there thinking to yourself i need
1273
00:51:34,800 –> 00:51:42,240
the pain to stop i need the pain to stop
1274
00:51:38,559 –> 00:51:44,720
you feel a gentle hand on your shoulder
1275
00:51:42,240 –> 00:51:45,359
you look over and you see the visage of
1276
00:51:44,720 –> 00:51:49,680
your mother
1277
00:51:45,359 –> 00:51:53,599
once more and she says it’s okay saith
1278
00:51:49,680 –> 00:51:56,640
i’m here i won’t let anything hurt you
1279
00:51:53,599 –> 00:52:00,559
just let it happen
1280
00:51:56,640 –> 00:52:05,079
and that gives you a momentary pause
1281
00:52:00,559 –> 00:52:08,079
and you feel at ease before the pain
1282
00:52:05,079 –> 00:52:10,160
intensifies well beyond what you would
1283
00:52:08,079 –> 00:52:12,960
have thought
1284
00:52:10,160 –> 00:52:16,079
you look up at your mother tears in your
1285
00:52:12,960 –> 00:52:18,480
eyes from the pain
1286
00:52:16,079 –> 00:52:20,240
and she looks at you with an earnest
1287
00:52:18,480 –> 00:52:24,240
smile and says
1288
00:52:20,240 –> 00:52:32,079
thank you so much for trusting me
1289
00:52:24,240 –> 00:52:36,720
my dear sweet
1290
00:52:32,079 –> 00:52:37,040
you [ _ ] [ _ ] as you are engulfed in
1291
00:52:36,720 –> 00:52:40,960
a
1292
00:52:37,040 –> 00:52:43,680
column of blue fire everyone else is
1293
00:52:40,960 –> 00:52:45,440
thrown back from the intensity of the
1294
00:52:43,680 –> 00:52:48,960
burst
1295
00:52:45,440 –> 00:52:51,119
and the little girl looks on completely
1296
00:52:48,960 –> 00:52:54,160
unfazed by it
1297
00:52:51,119 –> 00:52:56,160
until in a blinding motion
1298
00:52:54,160 –> 00:52:58,040
she is winded from the spot where she
1299
00:52:56,160 –> 00:53:02,079
stands and her head
1300
00:52:58,040 –> 00:53:02,079
explodes against the wall
1301
00:53:03,760 –> 00:53:10,000
what you all first think is blood
1302
00:53:06,800 –> 00:53:12,559
you soon realize is actually mud as the
1303
00:53:10,000 –> 00:53:15,680
little girl’s body begins to dissolve
1304
00:53:12,559 –> 00:53:17,599
into a clay-like form
1305
00:53:15,680 –> 00:53:19,040
you now realize this was actually a clay
1306
00:53:17,599 –> 00:53:22,400
golem
1307
00:53:19,040 –> 00:53:23,280
but that momentary reprieve is a minor
1308
00:53:22,400 –> 00:53:26,559
note
1309
00:53:23,280 –> 00:53:30,880
compared to the horror that you now see
1310
00:53:26,559 –> 00:53:34,800
standing in front of this now corpse
1311
00:53:30,880 –> 00:53:38,160
is a large devil creature
1312
00:53:34,800 –> 00:53:43,359
muscle on top of muscle it has a
1313
00:53:38,160 –> 00:53:46,559
long face with empty yellow eyes
1314
00:53:43,359 –> 00:53:48,319
and the same sinister smile you all
1315
00:53:46,559 –> 00:53:50,880
recognize
1316
00:53:48,319 –> 00:53:52,800
in a twisted form that can only be
1317
00:53:50,880 –> 00:53:57,839
described
1318
00:53:52,800 –> 00:53:57,839
as hellish
1319
00:53:58,240 –> 00:54:04,960
now safe you
1320
00:54:01,440 –> 00:54:08,240
find yourself in a black
1321
00:54:04,960 –> 00:54:09,200
space you are not in the same place that
1322
00:54:08,240 –> 00:54:13,440
you are for you
1323
00:54:09,200 –> 00:54:17,200
see nothing as far as the eye can see
1324
00:54:13,440 –> 00:54:20,240
until a figure appears before you
1325
00:54:17,200 –> 00:54:24,050
emerging from blue flames
1326
00:54:20,240 –> 00:54:27,139
you see asmodeus
1327
00:54:24,050 –> 00:54:27,139
[Music]
1328
00:54:28,640 –> 00:54:31,839
she doesn’t know what to say
1329
00:54:36,960 –> 00:54:43,520
pieces speechless perfectly for this
1330
00:54:40,400 –> 00:54:47,200
a little taste of power that you can
1331
00:54:43,520 –> 00:54:49,920
quite take so i gave you something a
1332
00:54:47,200 –> 00:54:49,920
little more
1333
00:54:50,839 –> 00:54:56,880
tempting
1334
00:54:52,319 –> 00:55:00,160
powerful i’m so glad even you
1335
00:54:56,880 –> 00:55:07,839
could resist the temptation
1336
00:55:00,160 –> 00:55:07,839
of pointing back
1337
00:55:11,839 –> 00:55:21,839
it made it so much easier
1338
00:55:15,280 –> 00:55:21,839
for me to take hold of your body
1339
00:55:31,359 –> 00:55:36,000
yeah you can laugh all you want but at
1340
00:55:34,559 –> 00:55:49,839
the end of the day
1341
00:55:36,000 –> 00:55:49,839
you [ __ ] up buddy
1342
00:55:51,280 –> 00:55:57,839
i’m trapped in my mind 24 7.
1343
00:55:54,880 –> 00:55:59,520
there’s i mean i’m here now like this is
1344
00:55:57,839 –> 00:56:02,640
great to be able to actually
1345
00:55:59,520 –> 00:56:04,480
see what’s in here and recognize
1346
00:56:02,640 –> 00:56:07,359
that there really isn’t anything to be
1347
00:56:04,480 –> 00:56:10,240
afraid of including you
1348
00:56:07,359 –> 00:56:13,359
and if there’s one thing i know even if
1349
00:56:10,240 –> 00:56:15,760
my teammates have to kill me
1350
00:56:13,359 –> 00:56:17,359
they’re gonna take your dumb ass down
1351
00:56:15,760 –> 00:56:20,799
and my suffering will be
1352
00:56:17,359 –> 00:56:25,839
over so yeah
1353
00:56:20,799 –> 00:56:25,839
take the body asmodius go for it
1354
00:56:25,920 –> 00:56:30,240
but you [ __ ] up here bud you’re not
1355
00:56:29,119 –> 00:56:33,839
gonna last long
1356
00:56:30,240 –> 00:56:35,920
out there well i’m glad you have such
1357
00:56:33,839 –> 00:56:37,839
faith in your friends to do the normal
1358
00:56:35,920 –> 00:56:41,680
thing
1359
00:56:37,839 –> 00:56:44,960
i on the other hand feel like there is
1360
00:56:41,680 –> 00:56:44,960
little bit too many
1361
00:56:49,520 –> 00:56:56,480
and two more flames appear
1362
00:56:52,559 –> 00:57:00,720
and from them you see the figures
1363
00:56:56,480 –> 00:57:00,720
of your grandparents emerge
1364
00:57:01,119 –> 00:57:05,839
safe it is still your turn what do you
1365
00:57:04,400 –> 00:57:12,640
do
1366
00:57:05,839 –> 00:57:16,960
oh look my darling grandparents
1367
00:57:12,640 –> 00:57:20,640
sure has been a minute since i um
1368
00:57:16,960 –> 00:57:24,799
decapitated you both off pray
1369
00:57:20,640 –> 00:57:26,160
victory one for which we shall now rob
1370
00:57:24,799 –> 00:57:29,760
of you
1371
00:57:26,160 –> 00:57:30,720
you have what belongs to us and we will
1372
00:57:29,760 –> 00:57:34,270
claim it
1373
00:57:30,720 –> 00:57:38,720
back fate
1374
00:57:34,270 –> 00:57:41,760
[Laughter]
1375
00:57:38,720 –> 00:57:47,119
if you think that i am still fate
1376
00:57:41,760 –> 00:57:51,839
youngblood there’s a lot
1377
00:57:47,119 –> 00:57:51,839
that you’re gonna learn today old man
1378
00:57:52,160 –> 00:58:00,240
and uh safe is going to
1379
00:57:57,119 –> 00:58:03,640
draw her crossbow
1380
00:58:00,240 –> 00:58:05,520
and fire on her grandfather with a
1381
00:58:03,640 –> 00:58:10,720
paralysis
1382
00:58:05,520 –> 00:58:10,720
shot okay and
1383
00:58:11,119 –> 00:58:15,040
um okay no i don’t want to waste that
1384
00:58:13,440 –> 00:58:17,280
right now so i am gonna do
1385
00:58:15,040 –> 00:58:18,720
just a paralysis shot i was gonna call a
1386
00:58:17,280 –> 00:58:20,720
shot but i feel like if i’m gonna use a
1387
00:58:18,720 –> 00:58:21,680
paralysis shot then i might as well just
1388
00:58:20,720 –> 00:58:23,839
go ahead and do it
1389
00:58:21,680 –> 00:58:26,000
oh that’s fast fair go ahead and roll a
1390
00:58:23,839 –> 00:58:26,000
hit
1391
00:58:26,030 –> 00:58:34,559
[Laughter]
1392
00:58:31,680 –> 00:58:36,079
there’s no way there’s no [ __ ] way
1393
00:58:34,559 –> 00:58:39,760
there’s no [ __ ] way
1394
00:58:36,079 –> 00:58:40,480
i cannot what’d you get i say as if i
1395
00:58:39,760 –> 00:58:42,160
don’t know
1396
00:58:40,480 –> 00:58:43,599
well it’s not a critical one i could
1397
00:58:42,160 –> 00:58:46,799
tell you that
1398
00:58:43,599 –> 00:58:49,680
oh it’s too cool nope nope
1399
00:58:46,799 –> 00:58:51,839
nope that was the natural 20. okay yeah
1400
00:58:49,680 –> 00:58:54,880
believe it or not that does in fact hit
1401
00:58:51,839 –> 00:58:56,960
okay go ahead and roll the damage all
1402
00:58:54,880 –> 00:59:00,559
right so that would be
1403
00:58:56,960 –> 00:59:02,480
i am assuming you are um using your uh
1404
00:59:00,559 –> 00:59:05,200
stationary ability to gain advantage on
1405
00:59:02,480 –> 00:59:05,200
the shot busting
1406
00:59:05,760 –> 00:59:09,920
all right so go ahead and apply uh the
1407
00:59:08,559 –> 00:59:15,200
standard the sneak attack
1408
00:59:09,920 –> 00:59:15,200
and the lightning damage okay
1409
00:59:15,359 –> 00:59:19,839
standard uh keep the lightning damage
1410
00:59:18,720 –> 00:59:23,200
separate though
1411
00:59:19,839 –> 00:59:24,160
okay 10 piercing damage 10 lightning
1412
00:59:23,200 –> 00:59:28,319
damage
1413
00:59:24,160 –> 00:59:33,119
15 for the sneak attack okay
1414
00:59:28,319 –> 00:59:36,160
i believe that would be 52 base damage
1415
00:59:33,119 –> 00:59:36,400
before the extra 20 gets thrown on for
1416
00:59:36,160 –> 00:59:40,720
the
1417
00:59:36,400 –> 00:59:43,760
paralysis yep cool
1418
00:59:40,720 –> 00:59:48,720
back in the feywild
1419
00:59:43,760 –> 00:59:53,520
you will see the safe devil
1420
00:59:48,720 –> 00:59:57,040
turn her eyes towards arlo
1421
00:59:53,520 –> 01:00:01,119
as she pulls out a giant
1422
00:59:57,040 –> 01:00:04,240
infernal crossbow oh god
1423
01:00:01,119 –> 01:00:05,280
and shoots it right at him arlo roll me
1424
01:00:04,240 –> 01:00:07,280
a con save
1425
01:00:05,280 –> 01:00:08,480
for the critical hit katie just landed
1426
01:00:07,280 –> 01:00:11,680
on you
1427
01:00:08,480 –> 01:00:12,960
holy [ __ ] oh man that’s only gonna be a
1428
01:00:11,680 –> 01:00:15,200
22.
1429
01:00:12,960 –> 01:00:16,799
okay cool so you survive that you still
1430
01:00:15,200 –> 01:00:20,079
take 52
1431
01:00:16,799 –> 01:00:22,880
points of damage oh
1432
01:00:20,079 –> 01:00:22,880
sorry bud
1433
01:00:25,599 –> 01:00:31,200
what the [ __ ]
1434
01:00:29,680 –> 01:00:34,960
is there anything else you’d like to do
1435
01:00:31,200 –> 01:00:38,559
same boy
1436
01:00:34,960 –> 01:00:42,000
no i think i think uh that that’s uh
1437
01:00:38,559 –> 01:00:44,640
okay so as you within your own mind fire
1438
01:00:42,000 –> 01:00:45,280
this bolt at your grandfather it strikes
1439
01:00:44,640 –> 01:00:48,480
him and
1440
01:00:45,280 –> 01:00:51,599
he reels in pain from this
1441
01:00:48,480 –> 01:00:52,400
extremely well placed shot he’s able to
1442
01:00:51,599 –> 01:00:54,720
resist
1443
01:00:52,400 –> 01:00:56,240
the paralysis of it and doesn’t take any
1444
01:00:54,720 –> 01:00:59,599
of the lightning damage
1445
01:00:56,240 –> 01:01:03,119
however he is still in agonizing pain
1446
01:00:59,599 –> 01:01:06,880
and that is all that you perceive
1447
01:01:03,119 –> 01:01:09,200
fair enough when tara you’re up
1448
01:01:06,880 –> 01:01:10,160
when tara was crouched and ready to
1449
01:01:09,200 –> 01:01:12,000
fight this girl
1450
01:01:10,160 –> 01:01:14,640
and she sees out of the corner of her
1451
01:01:12,000 –> 01:01:16,480
eye this shock it fired at arlo
1452
01:01:14,640 –> 01:01:18,079
and she immediately snaps around she’s
1453
01:01:16,480 –> 01:01:21,440
just like what
1454
01:01:18,079 –> 01:01:24,240
the ever loving trees are you
1455
01:01:21,440 –> 01:01:26,000
doing safe for the record safe does not
1456
01:01:24,240 –> 01:01:27,760
look like she normally does she looks
1457
01:01:26,000 –> 01:01:30,160
like a pit fiend
1458
01:01:27,760 –> 01:01:32,640
she she kind of falters at the end as
1459
01:01:30,160 –> 01:01:34,720
she realizes that this is obviously no
1460
01:01:32,640 –> 01:01:38,400
longer regular safe
1461
01:01:34,720 –> 01:01:42,240
and i’m gonna go ahead and do
1462
01:01:38,400 –> 01:01:46,160
what i was planning on doing initially
1463
01:01:42,240 –> 01:01:49,680
which was summoning uh a conjure animals
1464
01:01:46,160 –> 01:01:51,680
at fifth level two jock birds and two
1465
01:01:49,680 –> 01:01:54,079
birdies
1466
01:01:51,680 –> 01:01:55,440
excellent you get to uh bust this one
1467
01:01:54,079 –> 01:01:59,680
out yes
1468
01:01:55,440 –> 01:02:02,640
i do so when tara
1469
01:01:59,680 –> 01:02:03,280
as she’s asking what are you doing is
1470
01:02:02,640 –> 01:02:05,760
doing her
1471
01:02:03,280 –> 01:02:07,440
bird hand gesture and she’s just like
1472
01:02:05,760 –> 01:02:10,799
jock bird birdie
1473
01:02:07,440 –> 01:02:12,640
different plan is your bird hand gesture
1474
01:02:10,799 –> 01:02:16,400
just like a bird shadow puppet
1475
01:02:12,640 –> 01:02:17,599
yeah pretty much wonderful
1476
01:02:16,400 –> 01:02:19,200
yeah it’s just like they’re seeing a
1477
01:02:17,599 –> 01:02:21,200
napoleon dynamite where they’re putting
1478
01:02:19,200 –> 01:02:24,640
their hands together to make the bird
1479
01:02:21,200 –> 01:02:25,359
just like signals that way pretty much
1480
01:02:24,640 –> 01:02:27,520
yeah
1481
01:02:25,359 –> 01:02:29,119
so she summons them and she looks over
1482
01:02:27,520 –> 01:02:31,839
at the two jock birds and
1483
01:02:29,119 –> 01:02:32,319
she’s just like i need both of you to
1484
01:02:31,839 –> 01:02:35,680
stop
1485
01:02:32,319 –> 01:02:36,400
her and keep her from hurting mainly
1486
01:02:35,680 –> 01:02:38,000
those two
1487
01:02:36,400 –> 01:02:40,480
and she points over gestures towards
1488
01:02:38,000 –> 01:02:43,599
bookworm and uh arlo
1489
01:02:40,480 –> 01:02:45,440
after she saw arlo get shot
1490
01:02:43,599 –> 01:02:47,280
and then she looks over at birdie the
1491
01:02:45,440 –> 01:02:48,319
birdies and she’s gonna have them go be
1492
01:02:47,280 –> 01:02:50,640
shields
1493
01:02:48,319 –> 01:02:52,160
yeah so the jock birds are going to
1494
01:02:50,640 –> 01:02:55,440
attack
1495
01:02:52,160 –> 01:02:56,559
is it against safe’s normal ac i don’t
1496
01:02:55,440 –> 01:02:57,920
know roll it
1497
01:02:56,559 –> 01:03:00,960
actually this one although i am being
1498
01:02:57,920 –> 01:03:04,240
coy yes it’s everyone’s stats
1499
01:03:00,960 –> 01:03:07,039
okay uh does 18 hit save it does
1500
01:03:04,240 –> 01:03:08,240
okay i may have all your stuff pulled up
1501
01:03:07,039 –> 01:03:10,400
just because i thought this might last a
1502
01:03:08,240 –> 01:03:14,079
little longer
1503
01:03:10,400 –> 01:03:16,880
so she takes on the first hit uh
1504
01:03:14,079 –> 01:03:17,680
six magical piercing and i know that’s
1505
01:03:16,880 –> 01:03:21,280
gonna hit
1506
01:03:17,680 –> 01:03:25,359
and then a 10 magical slashing and then
1507
01:03:21,280 –> 01:03:26,960
the second jumper gets a nat 20 on the
1508
01:03:25,359 –> 01:03:30,160
first attack
1509
01:03:26,960 –> 01:03:33,200
good yes so that was the beak attack
1510
01:03:30,160 –> 01:03:35,119
which is this one’s especially looking
1511
01:03:33,200 –> 01:03:37,520
ripped today
1512
01:03:35,119 –> 01:03:39,200
so it does 20 damage on that first beak
1513
01:03:37,520 –> 01:03:42,880
attack
1514
01:03:39,200 –> 01:03:44,000
and then it gets a i don’t think a 15 is
1515
01:03:42,880 –> 01:03:46,640
gonna hit
1516
01:03:44,000 –> 01:03:48,000
no her ac is higher than that so it
1517
01:03:46,640 –> 01:03:51,359
misses on the talon attack because it’s
1518
01:03:48,000 –> 01:03:51,359
too invested in beaking her
1519
01:03:51,599 –> 01:03:57,280
and then the birdies
1520
01:03:55,039 –> 01:03:58,400
are over there and they’re protecting
1521
01:03:57,280 –> 01:04:01,119
arlo and
1522
01:03:58,400 –> 01:04:01,599
bookworm and they are actually over
1523
01:04:01,119 –> 01:04:06,799
there
1524
01:04:01,599 –> 01:04:06,799
going birdie birdie birdy birdie
1525
01:04:07,839 –> 01:04:12,240
and they’re using their leadership
1526
01:04:09,119 –> 01:04:13,680
ability for both of them
1527
01:04:12,240 –> 01:04:15,200
cool uh do you want to go ahead and read
1528
01:04:13,680 –> 01:04:15,680
that one out loud so they know what that
1529
01:04:15,200 –> 01:04:17,760
is
1530
01:04:15,680 –> 01:04:19,200
yeah so they’re uttering their special
1531
01:04:17,760 –> 01:04:21,280
warning whenever
1532
01:04:19,200 –> 01:04:22,960
a hostile creature within 30 feet of it
1533
01:04:21,280 –> 01:04:24,319
makes or a non-hostile creature that it
1534
01:04:22,960 –> 01:04:24,799
can see within 30 feet of it makes an
1535
01:04:24,319 –> 01:04:27,200
attacker
1536
01:04:24,799 –> 01:04:28,799
or a saving roll you can add a d4 to
1537
01:04:27,200 –> 01:04:30,079
your roll provided that you can hear
1538
01:04:28,799 –> 01:04:33,280
birdie
1539
01:04:30,079 –> 01:04:35,680
okay is that going to be it for you
1540
01:04:33,280 –> 01:04:36,799
no this time she actually is going to
1541
01:04:35,680 –> 01:04:40,480
summon her spirit
1542
01:04:36,799 –> 01:04:42,640
wolf and it is going to appear
1543
01:04:40,480 –> 01:04:43,599
and the difference between the wolf
1544
01:04:42,640 –> 01:04:46,559
spirit totem
1545
01:04:43,599 –> 01:04:47,280
is that anytime i do healing creatures
1546
01:04:46,559 –> 01:04:49,520
you get more
1547
01:04:47,280 –> 01:04:52,839
healing but also you get advantage to
1548
01:04:49,520 –> 01:04:56,160
detect creatures in my magic zone
1549
01:04:52,839 –> 01:04:59,520
nice so that is
1550
01:04:56,160 –> 01:05:03,599
my turn okay safe
1551
01:04:59,520 –> 01:05:06,640
from your perception you see
1552
01:05:03,599 –> 01:05:09,119
asmodeus summons four
1553
01:05:06,640 –> 01:05:09,839
imp like creatures two of which appear
1554
01:05:09,119 –> 01:05:12,480
to be far
1555
01:05:09,839 –> 01:05:14,559
stronger than the others the two smaller
1556
01:05:12,480 –> 01:05:16,720
ones go off to protect
1557
01:05:14,559 –> 01:05:18,240
your grandparents while the two larger
1558
01:05:16,720 –> 01:05:22,160
ones go up and they
1559
01:05:18,240 –> 01:05:22,960
attack you relentlessly okay back
1560
01:05:22,160 –> 01:05:26,000
outside
1561
01:05:22,960 –> 01:05:28,720
in the feyworld it is bookworm’s turn
1562
01:05:26,000 –> 01:05:29,599
she is going to immediately rush over to
1563
01:05:28,720 –> 01:05:32,400
arlo
1564
01:05:29,599 –> 01:05:33,599
and begin to cast a healing spell on you
1565
01:05:32,400 –> 01:05:35,359
arlo you regain
1566
01:05:33,599 –> 01:05:37,119
10 hit points and also make me a
1567
01:05:35,359 –> 01:05:41,119
perception jack
1568
01:05:37,119 –> 01:05:42,000
six okay you take you get 10 hit points
1569
01:05:41,119 –> 01:05:45,599
back
1570
01:05:42,000 –> 01:05:47,440
yeah and nothing else
1571
01:05:45,599 –> 01:05:49,520
boy i sure feel like there might have
1572
01:05:47,440 –> 01:05:50,720
been some additional like information
1573
01:05:49,520 –> 01:05:53,359
layered into that but
1574
01:05:50,720 –> 01:05:54,799
i have caught none of that bookworm
1575
01:05:53,359 –> 01:05:57,440
shrugs as she does not know what you
1576
01:05:54,799 –> 01:05:59,599
were talking about
1577
01:05:57,440 –> 01:06:00,960
saith what you perceive is your
1578
01:05:59,599 –> 01:06:04,880
grandmother going over
1579
01:06:00,960 –> 01:06:06,640
and healing your grandfather fair enough
1580
01:06:04,880 –> 01:06:08,559
back up to the top of the order arlo
1581
01:06:06,640 –> 01:06:11,920
you’re up
1582
01:06:08,559 –> 01:06:14,319
arlo like charges his holy symbol
1583
01:06:11,920 –> 01:06:17,119
with the light of bahamut and like looks
1584
01:06:14,319 –> 01:06:20,240
at the pit fiend safe but still
1585
01:06:17,119 –> 01:06:21,200
sees her face and he knows what he was
1586
01:06:20,240 –> 01:06:24,240
taught in like
1587
01:06:21,200 –> 01:06:26,319
military and in cleric school that when
1588
01:06:24,240 –> 01:06:28,480
someone is possessed by a demon
1589
01:06:26,319 –> 01:06:29,520
that no question you have to take them
1590
01:06:28,480 –> 01:06:31,200
out
1591
01:06:29,520 –> 01:06:32,880
that’s what you have to do that’s
1592
01:06:31,200 –> 01:06:36,319
protocol
1593
01:06:32,880 –> 01:06:37,839
but he remembers just everything he
1594
01:06:36,319 –> 01:06:39,119
remembers like say hanging upside down
1595
01:06:37,839 –> 01:06:40,960
from the tree he remembers
1596
01:06:39,119 –> 01:06:42,799
sharing vials of whiskey with safe just
1597
01:06:40,960 –> 01:06:44,480
kind of trying to relax
1598
01:06:42,799 –> 01:06:46,319
um he remembers like them all like
1599
01:06:44,480 –> 01:06:48,000
sharing their room together and like
1600
01:06:46,319 –> 01:06:49,599
sharing their backstories and such and
1601
01:06:48,000 –> 01:06:53,119
he remembers say
1602
01:06:49,599 –> 01:06:54,720
making the sacrifice of uh
1603
01:06:53,119 –> 01:06:56,160
essentially a wish that could bring back
1604
01:06:54,720 –> 01:06:59,599
her most loved person
1605
01:06:56,160 –> 01:07:01,599
to help their friend wintera and like he
1606
01:06:59,599 –> 01:07:03,520
has the arcane energy or not the arcane
1607
01:07:01,599 –> 01:07:06,640
but he has like the whole energy
1608
01:07:03,520 –> 01:07:10,799
um charged and he has it aimed
1609
01:07:06,640 –> 01:07:12,720
at safe and he just can’t
1610
01:07:10,799 –> 01:07:14,000
and so instead he aims it down at the
1611
01:07:12,720 –> 01:07:17,760
ground and
1612
01:07:14,000 –> 01:07:19,920
he casts magic circle around said
1613
01:07:17,760 –> 01:07:21,119
what does magic circle do i feel like i
1614
01:07:19,920 –> 01:07:23,039
know what it does
1615
01:07:21,119 –> 01:07:24,400
on a bass level and if it if i’m even
1616
01:07:23,039 –> 01:07:25,839
remotely right this is going to be very
1617
01:07:24,400 –> 01:07:28,000
interesting
1618
01:07:25,839 –> 01:07:29,440
all right so i’m going to read the like
1619
01:07:28,000 –> 01:07:30,400
the basic version of it and i’m going to
1620
01:07:29,440 –> 01:07:32,640
read like the
1621
01:07:30,400 –> 01:07:33,760
the way i am using it because it is
1622
01:07:32,640 –> 01:07:35,520
allowed that way
1623
01:07:33,760 –> 01:07:37,839
okay fine go ahead all right so you
1624
01:07:35,520 –> 01:07:39,760
create a 10 foot radius 20 foot tall
1625
01:07:37,839 –> 01:07:42,160
cylinder of magical energy
1626
01:07:39,760 –> 01:07:44,000
center on a point on the ground that you
1627
01:07:42,160 –> 01:07:44,480
can see within range glowing runes
1628
01:07:44,000 –> 01:07:45,839
appear
1629
01:07:44,480 –> 01:07:49,119
wherever the surface intersects the
1630
01:07:45,839 –> 01:07:50,720
floor or other surface
1631
01:07:49,119 –> 01:07:52,240
when you cast a spell you can elect to
1632
01:07:50,720 –> 01:07:53,280
cause this magic to operate in the
1633
01:07:52,240 –> 01:07:55,119
reverse direction
1634
01:07:53,280 –> 01:07:57,359
preventing the creature of the specified
1635
01:07:55,119 –> 01:07:59,280
type from leaving the cylinder
1636
01:07:57,359 –> 01:08:00,640
and protecting targets outside of what
1637
01:07:59,280 –> 01:08:02,240
i’m doing
1638
01:08:00,640 –> 01:08:04,640
okay that is not the spell i thought it
1639
01:08:02,240 –> 01:08:06,720
was but that is still very interesting
1640
01:08:04,640 –> 01:08:08,640
so the creature can’t willingly and um
1641
01:08:06,720 –> 01:08:11,200
enter or in this case exit
1642
01:08:08,640 –> 01:08:12,880
the cylinder by non-magical means if the
1643
01:08:11,200 –> 01:08:14,559
creature tries to use teleportation or
1644
01:08:12,880 –> 01:08:16,239
inter-planar travel to do so
1645
01:08:14,559 –> 01:08:18,000
it must first succeed on a charisma
1646
01:08:16,239 –> 01:08:19,520
savings room the creature has
1647
01:08:18,000 –> 01:08:20,799
disadvantage on attack rolls against
1648
01:08:19,520 –> 01:08:22,560
targets within the cylinder there’s no
1649
01:08:20,799 –> 01:08:24,719
one in the cylinder
1650
01:08:22,560 –> 01:08:27,279
the target within the cylinder can’t be
1651
01:08:24,719 –> 01:08:29,199
charmed or i guess without the cylinder
1652
01:08:27,279 –> 01:08:30,799
can’t be charmed frightened or possessed
1653
01:08:29,199 –> 01:08:32,719
by the creature
1654
01:08:30,799 –> 01:08:35,120
dang if only i had given her some means
1655
01:08:32,719 –> 01:08:37,839
of interplanetary travel
1656
01:08:35,120 –> 01:08:39,520
that’s my savings bro no i’m well i
1657
01:08:37,839 –> 01:08:41,759
don’t control her
1658
01:08:39,520 –> 01:08:45,120
thank you for putting me in that barrier
1659
01:08:41,759 –> 01:08:47,600
good sir i do not wish to harm you
1660
01:08:45,120 –> 01:08:48,480
but i don’t really have a choice saith
1661
01:08:47,600 –> 01:08:51,279
may not agree
1662
01:08:48,480 –> 01:08:52,159
since by her perception that was her
1663
01:08:51,279 –> 01:08:55,520
grandfather
1664
01:08:52,159 –> 01:08:57,199
that did it that’s fair it’s a big old
1665
01:08:55,520 –> 01:08:59,440
bear it says [ __ ] you it killed your
1666
01:08:57,199 –> 01:09:01,920
parents
1667
01:08:59,440 –> 01:09:04,480
and also a giant drug of a penis on it
1668
01:09:01,920 –> 01:09:06,319
yeah that’s definitely what
1669
01:09:04,480 –> 01:09:07,839
a devil-worshiping cult would put on
1670
01:09:06,319 –> 01:09:10,239
their magic barrier
1671
01:09:07,839 –> 01:09:10,880
i mean you feel like imagery you know
1672
01:09:10,239 –> 01:09:14,000
what i’m
1673
01:09:10,880 –> 01:09:15,920
i’m i’m controlling the uh illusory
1674
01:09:14,000 –> 01:09:18,839
images of them to some degree so yeah i
1675
01:09:15,920 –> 01:09:21,520
do and that’s absolutely not what safe
1676
01:09:18,839 –> 01:09:24,239
perceives saved by your perception it is
1677
01:09:21,520 –> 01:09:27,759
far more demonic you see
1678
01:09:24,239 –> 01:09:31,920
black and blue stone
1679
01:09:27,759 –> 01:09:33,839
crystals emerge as a blue flame
1680
01:09:31,920 –> 01:09:36,239
wreaths around you and that is how you
1681
01:09:33,839 –> 01:09:39,520
perceive the barrier as
1682
01:09:36,239 –> 01:09:40,799
your grandfather says you need to stay
1683
01:09:39,520 –> 01:09:44,159
where you are
1684
01:09:40,799 –> 01:09:46,159
while we get rid of you you couldn’t get
1685
01:09:44,159 –> 01:09:48,159
rid of me 30 years ago you’re not gonna
1686
01:09:46,159 –> 01:09:51,600
get rid of me now
1687
01:09:48,159 –> 01:09:55,760
i’m stronger than i was then
1688
01:09:51,600 –> 01:10:00,880
and just as ugly it is now your turn
1689
01:09:55,760 –> 01:10:01,600
can i roll a perception check to see if
1690
01:10:00,880 –> 01:10:04,000
there’s anything
1691
01:10:01,600 –> 01:10:05,840
fishy with what’s going on around me
1692
01:10:04,000 –> 01:10:07,440
i’ll say insight that’s that’s more the
1693
01:10:05,840 –> 01:10:10,239
applicable stat
1694
01:10:07,440 –> 01:10:12,159
that’s the stat sorry no it’s okay i
1695
01:10:10,239 –> 01:10:13,760
just i have a plus nine to perception
1696
01:10:12,159 –> 01:10:14,960
no i know i have your stats pulled up in
1697
01:10:13,760 –> 01:10:16,159
front of me i have all y’all stats
1698
01:10:14,960 –> 01:10:16,480
pulled up before because again i thought
1699
01:10:16,159 –> 01:10:18,880
my
1700
01:10:16,480 –> 01:10:21,199
grooves would last a little longer it’s
1701
01:10:18,880 –> 01:10:23,199
only a nine that’s not gonna work
1702
01:10:21,199 –> 01:10:25,120
nope as far as you know azmodius has
1703
01:10:23,199 –> 01:10:26,880
just entered your mind and has brought
1704
01:10:25,120 –> 01:10:27,840
about your grandparents in order to help
1705
01:10:26,880 –> 01:10:29,440
erase you
1706
01:10:27,840 –> 01:10:32,000
from your own mind allowing him to
1707
01:10:29,440 –> 01:10:34,080
solidify his hold on your body
1708
01:10:32,000 –> 01:10:36,480
which he openly stated before so no new
1709
01:10:34,080 –> 01:10:37,840
info all right um so i’m gonna use my
1710
01:10:36,480 –> 01:10:40,800
ring of the ram
1711
01:10:37,840 –> 01:10:42,400
on um my quote unquote grandmother to
1712
01:10:40,800 –> 01:10:48,080
push her away from
1713
01:10:42,400 –> 01:10:50,080
my grandfather read me the language of
1714
01:10:48,080 –> 01:10:51,760
you can use an action to expend one of
1715
01:10:50,080 –> 01:10:54,159
three charges to attack
1716
01:10:51,760 –> 01:10:55,199
one creature you can see within 60 feet
1717
01:10:54,159 –> 01:10:59,040
of you
1718
01:10:55,199 –> 01:11:02,080
the ring produces a spectral ram’s head
1719
01:10:59,040 –> 01:11:04,400
and makes it uh makes an attack roll
1720
01:11:02,080 –> 01:11:06,080
with a plus seven bonus
1721
01:11:04,400 –> 01:11:08,400
on a hip five feet away from you
1722
01:11:06,080 –> 01:11:11,520
alternatively you can expend
1723
01:11:08,400 –> 01:11:13,600
uh one two three of the rings charges as
1724
01:11:11,520 –> 01:11:15,440
an action to try to break an object you
1725
01:11:13,600 –> 01:11:18,239
can see within 60 feet
1726
01:11:15,440 –> 01:11:20,239
of you that isn’t being worn or carried
1727
01:11:18,239 –> 01:11:22,320
the ring makes a strength check with a
1728
01:11:20,239 –> 01:11:23,520
plus 5 bonus for each charge that you
1729
01:11:22,320 –> 01:11:25,920
spend
1730
01:11:23,520 –> 01:11:29,120
is a ram able to leave the circle yeah
1731
01:11:25,920 –> 01:11:31,360
that’s what i was trying to figure out
1732
01:11:29,120 –> 01:11:32,239
it’s a spectral ram’s head so it’s like
1733
01:11:31,360 –> 01:11:35,199
a ghost
1734
01:11:32,239 –> 01:11:36,239
no no i i realize i’m just trying to
1735
01:11:35,199 –> 01:11:37,600
make sure i do this
1736
01:11:36,239 –> 01:11:39,040
fairly i’m trying to make sure i do this
1737
01:11:37,600 –> 01:11:40,320
as fairly as possible because i don’t
1738
01:11:39,040 –> 01:11:42,480
just want to ignore
1739
01:11:40,320 –> 01:11:43,840
the circle which is a very good move
1740
01:11:42,480 –> 01:11:44,960
thank you
1741
01:11:43,840 –> 01:11:47,360
so you said you’re using the first
1742
01:11:44,960 –> 01:11:50,480
option just in reverse right yes
1743
01:11:47,360 –> 01:11:50,880
i was talking to drew oh yes well i mean
1744
01:11:50,480 –> 01:11:52,480
no
1745
01:11:50,880 –> 01:11:54,400
the the options aren’t options they’re
1746
01:11:52,480 –> 01:11:56,960
all stipulations of the circle
1747
01:11:54,400 –> 01:11:57,760
oh they all okay i’m sorry it’s just
1748
01:11:56,960 –> 01:12:00,239
reversed
1749
01:11:57,760 –> 01:12:02,800
like instead of it being like you can’t
1750
01:12:00,239 –> 01:12:05,920
um get us inside this circle you can’t
1751
01:12:02,800 –> 01:12:08,880
[ __ ] it with us outside of the circle
1752
01:12:05,920 –> 01:12:10,320
for all those options wait a second if
1753
01:12:08,880 –> 01:12:12,000
so this would
1754
01:12:10,320 –> 01:12:14,640
it looks like by the rules of it should
1755
01:12:12,000 –> 01:12:18,000
have disadvantage on that attack roll
1756
01:12:14,640 –> 01:12:21,440
i’m cool going outside of the cylinder
1757
01:12:18,000 –> 01:12:23,199
real quick i have also noticed
1758
01:12:21,440 –> 01:12:24,719
one other thing about it that i feel
1759
01:12:23,199 –> 01:12:26,719
like drew you
1760
01:12:24,719 –> 01:12:28,000
immediately went over and you super
1761
01:12:26,719 –> 01:12:31,040
should not have because it’s
1762
01:12:28,000 –> 01:12:32,719
hella important what the last
1763
01:12:31,040 –> 01:12:34,560
stipulation targets within the cylinder
1764
01:12:32,719 –> 01:12:36,080
can’t be charmed frightened or possessed
1765
01:12:34,560 –> 01:12:37,440
by the creature and you choose one of
1766
01:12:36,080 –> 01:12:40,239
the specific kinds
1767
01:12:37,440 –> 01:12:41,679
of which fiends is one well it says one
1768
01:12:40,239 –> 01:12:43,440
or more
1769
01:12:41,679 –> 01:12:45,360
of the creatures it doesn’t give you and
1770
01:12:43,440 –> 01:12:47,040
it doesn’t say how you pick however many
1771
01:12:45,360 –> 01:12:49,920
of those there are
1772
01:12:47,040 –> 01:12:51,600
here’s how i will elect to do this
1773
01:12:49,920 –> 01:12:53,520
because i think this is really tasty and
1774
01:12:51,600 –> 01:12:55,040
i like this
1775
01:12:53,520 –> 01:12:57,440
you may do the attack it will still have
1776
01:12:55,040 –> 01:12:59,040
disadvantage however once you
1777
01:12:57,440 –> 01:13:00,960
you have to make contact with the
1778
01:12:59,040 –> 01:13:01,520
barrier in order to go like get the
1779
01:13:00,960 –> 01:13:04,159
attack
1780
01:13:01,520 –> 01:13:05,920
through it okay just based on the way
1781
01:13:04,159 –> 01:13:09,600
the ring of the rain would work
1782
01:13:05,920 –> 01:13:10,560
so i will say you make a wisdom-saving
1783
01:13:09,600 –> 01:13:12,640
throw
1784
01:13:10,560 –> 01:13:13,760
as you do that to try and overcome the
1785
01:13:12,640 –> 01:13:18,239
possession
1786
01:13:13,760 –> 01:13:22,159
let’s see hey i helped thank you
1787
01:13:18,239 –> 01:13:24,480
buddy hamburger helper
1788
01:13:22,159 –> 01:13:26,000
it is not going to be an easy dc just
1789
01:13:24,480 –> 01:13:28,080
fair warning
1790
01:13:26,000 –> 01:13:29,360
no that’s totally fair and my wisdom’s
1791
01:13:28,080 –> 01:13:32,880
not my highest uh
1792
01:13:29,360 –> 01:13:35,679
stat modifier you’re the only one okay
1793
01:13:32,880 –> 01:13:37,679
okay but what if i rolled a 19 so it’s a
1794
01:13:35,679 –> 01:13:39,360
non-natural 20.
1795
01:13:37,679 –> 01:13:40,719
here here’s how we’re going because i
1796
01:13:39,360 –> 01:13:42,000
hadn’t gotten to this point yet i swear
1797
01:13:40,719 –> 01:13:42,560
i’m not just making this up out of like
1798
01:13:42,000 –> 01:13:44,640
soldiering
1799
01:13:42,560 –> 01:13:46,960
that i swear to god this is i was going
1800
01:13:44,640 –> 01:13:49,360
to say this regardless forever
1801
01:13:46,960 –> 01:13:51,040
i will treat instances like that like
1802
01:13:49,360 –> 01:13:52,800
death saving throws so
1803
01:13:51,040 –> 01:13:55,120
first like either successes or failure
1804
01:13:52,800 –> 01:13:58,480
so three and that one was a success
1805
01:13:55,120 –> 01:14:00,159
okay so you have one in there you are
1806
01:13:58,480 –> 01:14:03,199
starting to be able to push
1807
01:14:00,159 –> 01:14:04,159
back like it doesn’t impact the barriers
1808
01:14:03,199 –> 01:14:07,199
present
1809
01:14:04,159 –> 01:14:10,480
but you are still you you’re feeling
1810
01:14:07,199 –> 01:14:13,600
like you can you’re feeling some give
1811
01:14:10,480 –> 01:14:16,640
okay and as the visage of asmodeus
1812
01:14:13,600 –> 01:14:17,760
has a slight flinch like he felt it and
1813
01:14:16,640 –> 01:14:20,719
he did not like it
1814
01:14:17,760 –> 01:14:22,159
uh roy your attack with disadvantage can
1815
01:14:20,719 –> 01:14:25,280
i say like while we’re doing that
1816
01:14:22,159 –> 01:14:25,520
can we see anything that like might key
1817
01:14:25,280 –> 01:14:28,719
us
1818
01:14:25,520 –> 01:14:31,679
off to that on the outside i will say
1819
01:14:28,719 –> 01:14:33,920
all three of you roll me a perception
1820
01:14:31,679 –> 01:14:35,520
check to notice that
1821
01:14:33,920 –> 01:14:37,280
and by all three of you i mean you two
1822
01:14:35,520 –> 01:14:41,360
plus me
1823
01:14:37,280 –> 01:14:42,880
- yeah you notice i got a 14.
1824
01:14:41,360 –> 01:14:44,800
i will say because it’s only the first
1825
01:14:42,880 –> 01:14:45,520
one when tara is the only one who
1826
01:14:44,800 –> 01:14:48,239
noticed that
1827
01:14:45,520 –> 01:14:50,080
thus far you noticed a reaction when she
1828
01:14:48,239 –> 01:14:54,880
punched into the barrier like it
1829
01:14:50,080 –> 01:14:57,760
almost caused pain okay
1830
01:14:54,880 –> 01:14:58,880
anyway uh safe where’d you roll i rolled
1831
01:14:57,760 –> 01:15:00,159
a two
1832
01:14:58,880 –> 01:15:01,679
yeah i don’t really matter i was gonna
1833
01:15:00,159 –> 01:15:03,280
ask who you’re aiming at it misses
1834
01:15:01,679 –> 01:15:05,120
completely it misses
1835
01:15:03,280 –> 01:15:06,719
like with a two i will almost say it
1836
01:15:05,120 –> 01:15:09,600
like slams against
1837
01:15:06,719 –> 01:15:10,800
the wall and does not even break through
1838
01:15:09,600 –> 01:15:13,840
is that everything for you
1839
01:15:10,800 –> 01:15:17,679
yes okay
1840
01:15:13,840 –> 01:15:20,880
i believe that brings it back to wintera
1841
01:15:17,679 –> 01:15:23,840
okay noticing the pain
1842
01:15:20,880 –> 01:15:25,600
when she made contact with the wall i
1843
01:15:23,840 –> 01:15:27,600
want one of the jock birds to try to
1844
01:15:25,600 –> 01:15:29,520
slam her back into it
1845
01:15:27,600 –> 01:15:32,159
okay so she she tells one of the
1846
01:15:29,520 –> 01:15:35,679
droppers push her into the wall
1847
01:15:32,159 –> 01:15:38,159
and the other one can attack okay so
1848
01:15:35,679 –> 01:15:38,960
one of them will just roll standard the
1849
01:15:38,159 –> 01:15:42,400
other one
1850
01:15:38,960 –> 01:15:44,080
will make an opposed grapple check
1851
01:15:42,400 –> 01:15:45,520
uh which wait how do you want that to go
1852
01:15:44,080 –> 01:15:48,159
like what order
1853
01:15:45,520 –> 01:15:48,640
i’ll attack first and then the gravel
1854
01:15:48,159 –> 01:15:50,320
okay
1855
01:15:48,640 –> 01:15:52,159
if if you break a certain damage
1856
01:15:50,320 –> 01:15:53,679
threshold i will say that you can have
1857
01:15:52,159 –> 01:15:58,480
advantage on your string check
1858
01:15:53,679 –> 01:15:58,480
okay uh that one misses that one
1859
01:15:58,880 –> 01:16:04,719
wedge roll 18. that hits
1860
01:16:02,320 –> 01:16:06,640
okay so that was the second attack uh so
1861
01:16:04,719 –> 01:16:09,840
that was the 10 magical slashing
1862
01:16:06,640 –> 01:16:11,040
i will say that was not enough to have
1863
01:16:09,840 –> 01:16:14,960
advantage on the roll
1864
01:16:11,040 –> 01:16:19,040
i had set that to 15 damage uh so
1865
01:16:14,960 –> 01:16:22,400
uh go ahead and make a opposed
1866
01:16:19,040 –> 01:16:24,880
grapple check you roll strength
1867
01:16:22,400 –> 01:16:25,760
uh say if you roll strength or dexterity
1868
01:16:24,880 –> 01:16:28,880
whichever one
1869
01:16:25,760 –> 01:16:30,880
is higher i don’t think that’s going to
1870
01:16:28,880 –> 01:16:33,360
matter
1871
01:16:30,880 –> 01:16:35,730
oh i don’t think that’s better it’s not
1872
01:16:33,360 –> 01:16:37,360
going to matter
1873
01:16:35,730 –> 01:16:39,199
[Music]
1874
01:16:37,360 –> 01:16:40,640
is a stronger jock bird and it got an
1875
01:16:39,199 –> 01:16:42,880
actual plotty
1876
01:16:40,640 –> 01:16:44,560
i’m sorry so for those of you listening
1877
01:16:42,880 –> 01:16:51,120
at home
1878
01:16:44,560 –> 01:16:51,120
the rule is jockbird always wins
1879
01:16:51,679 –> 01:16:56,080
and the actual rule is that ties do go
1880
01:16:54,400 –> 01:16:56,560
to attackers so no matter what safe
1881
01:16:56,080 –> 01:16:59,840
roles
1882
01:16:56,560 –> 01:17:03,280
it will take so yeah you are able
1883
01:16:59,840 –> 01:17:05,280
to push saith into the wall saith roll
1884
01:17:03,280 –> 01:17:08,239
me another wisdom-saving throw
1885
01:17:05,280 –> 01:17:10,239
with advantage actually i’d like to use
1886
01:17:08,239 –> 01:17:13,320
pendleton as a reaction
1887
01:17:10,239 –> 01:17:15,600
okay oh okay
1888
01:17:13,320 –> 01:17:17,040
[Music]
1889
01:17:15,600 –> 01:17:18,450
thank you for the advantage because i
1890
01:17:17,040 –> 01:17:22,080
just rolled the natural 20.
1891
01:17:18,450 –> 01:17:25,199
[Laughter]
1892
01:17:22,080 –> 01:17:30,239
as you do that you hear
1893
01:17:25,199 –> 01:17:30,239
pendleton in your head say you need that
1894
01:17:33,679 –> 01:17:40,560
and as you do that both of them do
1895
01:17:37,199 –> 01:17:43,920
and that is enough of a blunt force
1896
01:17:40,560 –> 01:17:46,560
save it breaks through to you and you
1897
01:17:43,920 –> 01:17:49,760
instantly realize what is going on
1898
01:17:46,560 –> 01:17:53,600
and with a blood curling scream you
1899
01:17:49,760 –> 01:17:59,840
break free and as modius vanishes
1900
01:17:53,600 –> 01:17:59,840
into flames as he fades he says
1901
01:18:16,159 –> 01:18:21,280
all right take a throat legend good
1902
01:18:18,640 –> 01:18:24,320
bahama lord almighty get
1903
01:18:21,280 –> 01:18:26,080
out of here i already done told you my
1904
01:18:24,320 –> 01:18:29,760
friends were gonna mess you the [ __ ]
1905
01:18:26,080 –> 01:18:33,360
up even if they had to kill me for it
1906
01:18:29,760 –> 01:18:35,440
you come back and we will abso [ __ ]
1907
01:18:33,360 –> 01:18:37,760
lutely defeat you
1908
01:18:35,440 –> 01:18:39,520
i’m not afraid of you as modius i never
1909
01:18:37,760 –> 01:18:42,960
was
1910
01:18:39,520 –> 01:18:47,040
as as modius fades with your
1911
01:18:42,960 –> 01:18:55,679
final declaration of defiance
1912
01:18:47,040 –> 01:18:58,719
he says
1913
01:18:55,679 –> 01:18:59,199
and with that from the outside you all
1914
01:18:58,719 –> 01:19:02,719
see
1915
01:18:59,199 –> 01:19:05,920
the blue flames once again engulf safe
1916
01:19:02,719 –> 01:19:09,360
and as the flames fade
1917
01:19:05,920 –> 01:19:13,440
she is back in her normal form and she
1918
01:19:09,360 –> 01:19:16,000
immediately collapses unconscious
1919
01:19:13,440 –> 01:19:17,199
can i roll to try to catch her how far
1920
01:19:16,000 –> 01:19:19,600
away are you
1921
01:19:17,199 –> 01:19:20,840
i don’t know i can’t be more than 10
1922
01:19:19,600 –> 01:19:22,239
feet away because i was doing the
1923
01:19:20,840 –> 01:19:25,840
barrier
1924
01:19:22,239 –> 01:19:28,400
back safe 19.
1925
01:19:25,840 –> 01:19:29,600
as she is about to collapse onto the
1926
01:19:28,400 –> 01:19:32,320
floor arlo
1927
01:19:29,600 –> 01:19:33,120
you scoop one arm in under her and
1928
01:19:32,320 –> 01:19:36,560
manage
1929
01:19:33,120 –> 01:19:40,960
to catch her that
1930
01:19:36,560 –> 01:19:40,960
is where we shall pause our tale for now
1931
01:19:45,520 –> 01:19:49,040
hello everyone jordan here we have a few
1932
01:19:48,000 –> 01:19:50,800
plugs shout out
1933
01:19:49,040 –> 01:19:52,719
as well as a few bloopers that didn’t
1934
01:19:50,800 –> 01:19:55,199
quite make it into the episode proper
1935
01:19:52,719 –> 01:19:56,480
so make sure you listen to the very end
1936
01:19:55,199 –> 01:19:59,679
if you want to support the show
1937
01:19:56,480 –> 01:20:01,600
follow us on our patreon at patreon.com
1938
01:19:59,679 –> 01:20:03,360
agents of damned we post all our
1939
01:20:01,600 –> 01:20:04,159
episodes there a whole week before they
1940
01:20:03,360 –> 01:20:06,239
hit itunes
1941
01:20:04,159 –> 01:20:07,280
spotify or any of the podcast platforms
1942
01:20:06,239 –> 01:20:09,440
you can find us on
1943
01:20:07,280 –> 01:20:10,639
we also have a special after show called
1944
01:20:09,440 –> 01:20:12,480
peek behind the screen
1945
01:20:10,639 –> 01:20:14,480
where we talk more in depth about the
1946
01:20:12,480 –> 01:20:16,080
episode what we think will happen next
1947
01:20:14,480 –> 01:20:18,080
or whatever the hell else we feel like
1948
01:20:16,080 –> 01:20:20,320
talking about you can also
1949
01:20:18,080 –> 01:20:21,280
find us on facebook and instagram at
1950
01:20:20,320 –> 01:20:24,080
agents of damned
1951
01:20:21,280 –> 01:20:25,440
and on twitter at agentsomd you can also
1952
01:20:24,080 –> 01:20:28,400
follow our personal twitters
1953
01:20:25,440 –> 01:20:28,960
me at pokechap christina greekachu and
1954
01:20:28,400 –> 01:20:33,040
katie
1955
01:20:28,960 –> 01:20:36,080
at missymystery myssy mystery
1956
01:20:33,040 –> 01:20:38,120
drew is not on twitter we also have a
1957
01:20:36,080 –> 01:20:40,280
website
1958
01:20:38,120 –> 01:20:42,480
agentsofdam.wordpress.com or
1959
01:20:40,280 –> 01:20:43,840
agentsoftdamp.com where you can also
1960
01:20:42,480 –> 01:20:45,840
find all our episodes
1961
01:20:43,840 –> 01:20:48,719
along with full transcriptions of each
1962
01:20:45,840 –> 01:20:50,719
episode and personal bios of the cast
1963
01:20:48,719 –> 01:20:51,920
additionally we also have merch now you
1964
01:20:50,719 –> 01:20:53,440
can find a wide selection of our
1965
01:20:51,920 –> 01:20:56,880
merchandise available over at t
1966
01:20:53,440 –> 01:20:58,880
public dot com slash user aod
1967
01:20:56,880 –> 01:21:00,320
or just follow the link on our website
1968
01:20:58,880 –> 01:21:02,159
if you want to talk to us or our
1969
01:21:00,320 –> 01:21:02,800
community at large we have a discord
1970
01:21:02,159 –> 01:21:06,560
server at
1971
01:21:02,800 –> 01:21:08,480
aod capital a lowercase o uppercase d
1972
01:21:06,560 –> 01:21:10,639
where you can chat discuss theories and
1973
01:21:08,480 –> 01:21:11,520
submit fan art and suggestions for the
1974
01:21:10,639 –> 01:21:14,480
show
1975
01:21:11,520 –> 01:21:16,639
we do ask that you keep it pg lest we
1976
01:21:14,480 –> 01:21:19,679
unleash our unholy wrath
1977
01:21:16,639 –> 01:21:22,480
upon you don’t forget to leave a review
1978
01:21:19,679 –> 01:21:24,960
and share the show with a friend until
1979
01:21:22,480 –> 01:21:24,960
next time
1980
01:21:26,840 –> 01:21:29,840
bye
1981
01:22:03,350 –> 01:22:08,630
[Music]
1982
01:22:10,080 –> 01:22:14,400
tabletop titties is a weekly tabletop
1983
01:22:12,159 –> 01:22:16,320
role-playing podcast run entirely by
1984
01:22:14,400 –> 01:22:19,040
people of marginalized genders
1985
01:22:16,320 –> 01:22:19,920
queer feminist hilarious and most
1986
01:22:19,040 –> 01:22:22,560
importantly
1987
01:22:19,920 –> 01:22:23,280
fun our entire first season is already
1988
01:22:22,560 –> 01:22:26,000
out now
1989
01:22:23,280 –> 01:22:27,920
on all podcast platforms and features
1990
01:22:26,000 –> 01:22:28,560
guests like b dave walters josephine
1991
01:22:27,920 –> 01:22:31,360
mcadam
1992
01:22:28,560 –> 01:22:31,920
and nora ibrahim join us on our d d 5e
1993
01:22:31,360 –> 01:22:34,080
adventure
1994
01:22:31,920 –> 01:22:35,920
run by dungeon goddess charlene bear
1995
01:22:34,080 –> 01:22:37,440
where we played an entirely homebrewed
1996
01:22:35,920 –> 01:22:40,159
battle royale campaign
1997
01:22:37,440 –> 01:22:41,920
the wildwell trials season 2 follows the
1998
01:22:40,159 –> 01:22:44,480
same characters you know and love
1999
01:22:41,920 –> 01:22:46,480
as they play hit point press’s hilarious
2000
01:22:44,480 –> 01:22:49,199
horror carnival extravaganza
2001
01:22:46,480 –> 01:22:49,600
hecna and don’t worry we don’t just do d
2002
01:22:49,199 –> 01:22:51,120
and d
2003
01:22:49,600 –> 01:22:53,440
we also have a world of darkness
2004
01:22:51,120 –> 01:22:55,520
chronicle titties by night a vampire the
2005
01:22:53,440 –> 01:22:57,840
masquerade v5 campaign
2006
01:22:55,520 –> 01:23:00,320
story told by kelly wright this show
2007
01:22:57,840 –> 01:23:02,800
follows a vampire cotery of supernatural
2008
01:23:00,320 –> 01:23:05,040
investigators in victorian london
2009
01:23:02,800 –> 01:23:07,440
all our shows have professional actors
2010
01:23:05,040 –> 01:23:09,679
intricate editing and story lines that
2011
01:23:07,440 –> 01:23:11,840
keep you coming back for more
2012
01:23:09,679 –> 01:23:12,880
catch us live on twitch.tv slash
2013
01:23:11,840 –> 01:23:15,199
tabletop titties
2014
01:23:12,880 –> 01:23:17,199
or as an edited podcasts wherever
2015
01:23:15,199 –> 01:23:19,840
podcasts are found for more information
2016
01:23:17,199 –> 01:23:21,679
visit our website at
2017
01:23:19,840 –> 01:23:23,360
and whenever we say tabletop titties
2018
01:23:21,679 –> 01:23:24,380
that’s with double d’s if you know what
2019
01:23:23,360 –> 01:23:28,400
we mean
2020
01:23:24,380 –> 01:23:30,080
[Music]
2021
01:23:28,400 –> 01:23:31,520
i sincerely forgot about the booty
2022
01:23:30,080 –> 01:23:32,239
riddlers and now i can’t think of
2023
01:23:31,520 –> 01:23:34,400
anything
2024
01:23:32,239 –> 01:23:35,760
but the trauma of experiencing the booty
2025
01:23:34,400 –> 01:23:38,239
riddlers i know
2026
01:23:35,760 –> 01:23:39,679
you forgot about say snap 20 boogie roll
2027
01:23:38,239 –> 01:23:43,920
how could you
2028
01:23:39,679 –> 01:23:48,000
oh god the best booty
2029
01:23:43,920 –> 01:23:51,840
so safe is gonna saunter up to the
2030
01:23:48,000 –> 01:23:52,800
uh scroll okay and i’m just gonna take a
2031
01:23:51,840 –> 01:23:55,360
look at it
2032
01:23:52,800 –> 01:23:56,080
it says the same thing i said earlier uh
2033
01:23:55,360 –> 01:24:00,800
yeah
2034
01:23:56,080 –> 01:24:02,639
i just want to look at it some more okay
2035
01:24:00,800 –> 01:24:04,320
mostly because i definitely might not
2036
01:24:02,639 –> 01:24:05,920
have been paying attention
2037
01:24:04,320 –> 01:24:07,520
you’re allowed to take a long [ __ ]
2038
01:24:05,920 –> 01:24:09,580
harass before you do the next
2039
01:24:07,520 –> 01:24:12,560
trial
2040
01:24:09,580 –> 01:24:14,880
[Laughter]
2041
01:24:12,560 –> 01:24:16,080
i’m just giving y’all some down time so
2042
01:24:14,880 –> 01:24:20,239
you can digest
2043
01:24:16,080 –> 01:24:21,199
the sooner [ __ ] thank you i appreciate
2044
01:24:20,239 –> 01:24:24,159
it
2045
01:24:21,199 –> 01:24:24,560
you can delete that entire exchange oh
2046
01:24:24,159 –> 01:24:27,679
no
2047
01:24:24,560 –> 01:24:30,159
absolutely not no no no no that’s that’s
2048
01:24:27,679 –> 01:24:34,400
a blooper
2049
01:24:30,159 –> 01:24:38,000
oh boy nugget how dare you i’m sorry
2050
01:24:34,400 –> 01:24:42,400
there’s a lot going on lately
2051
01:24:38,000 –> 01:24:45,440
don’t give me excuses no shut up
2052
01:24:42,400 –> 01:24:47,440
staggy’s turn to talk please don’t refer
2053
01:24:45,440 –> 01:24:50,960
to yourself as daddy i
2054
01:24:47,440 –> 01:24:54,000
i i ca
2055
01:24:50,960 –> 01:24:58,719
no go ahead come on daddy spin us your
2056
01:24:54,000 –> 01:24:58,719
fantasy tale daddy our
2057
01:25:11,600 –> 01:25:15,040
i’ve been flirting with him with every
2058
01:25:13,040 –> 01:25:16,880
gay character in my arsenal i’ve spent
2059
01:25:15,040 –> 01:25:19,590
my goal from day one
2060
01:25:16,880 –> 01:25:21,280
it’s fine as long as i’m the top
2061
01:25:19,590 –> 01:25:24,840
[Music]
2062
01:25:21,280 –> 01:25:26,800
don’t you air me you know our dynamic
2063
01:25:24,840 –> 01:25:30,719
[ __ ]
2064
01:25:26,800 –> 01:25:33,280
yeah we both struggle for power anyway
2065
01:25:30,719 –> 01:25:35,199
ignoring our hypothetical sex lives oh
2066
01:25:33,280 –> 01:25:38,080
boy
2067
01:25:35,199 –> 01:25:40,000
this is a thing and i thought our
2068
01:25:38,080 –> 01:25:43,040
halloween special was horny anyway
2069
01:25:40,000 –> 01:25:46,000
oh god i wish
2070
01:25:43,040 –> 01:25:47,360
my doctor gave me a lollipop with every
2071
01:25:46,000 –> 01:25:49,360
doctor’s note
2072
01:25:47,360 –> 01:25:50,960
well maybe like whatever happened to
2073
01:25:49,360 –> 01:25:52,320
that like you remember like when like
2074
01:25:50,960 –> 01:25:54,639
your doctors be like and you were a
2075
01:25:52,320 –> 01:25:55,600
brave boy today so here’s a lollipop me
2076
01:25:54,639 –> 01:25:57,360
like [ __ ] yeah
2077
01:25:55,600 –> 01:25:59,120
yeah that’s called your pediatrician
2078
01:25:57,360 –> 01:26:02,080
your kid doctor
2079
01:25:59,120 –> 01:26:04,000
yeah but like why did that have to stop
2080
01:26:02,080 –> 01:26:05,600
adults like don’t like sugar no we
2081
01:26:04,000 –> 01:26:07,760
didn’t like [ __ ] grow out of that
2082
01:26:05,600 –> 01:26:09,120
i would like a lollipop like he doesn’t
2083
01:26:07,760 –> 01:26:10,719
have to be like you were a brave boy
2084
01:26:09,120 –> 01:26:12,159
but you’d be like all right uh you know
2085
01:26:10,719 –> 01:26:13,600
you finished your uh checkup and uh
2086
01:26:12,159 –> 01:26:16,000
here’s your lollipop sir i’ll be like
2087
01:26:13,600 –> 01:26:19,920
hell yeah my lollipop
2088
01:26:16,000 –> 01:26:19,920
that’d be nice wouldn’t that be nice
2089
01:26:20,719 –> 01:26:25,440
all right take a throat legend jesus
2090
01:26:23,520 –> 01:26:30,400
christ get out of here
2091
01:26:25,440 –> 01:26:30,400
sorry no wait uh muhammad
2092
01:26:30,480 –> 01:26:34,239
like from really far away i think you
2093
01:26:32,960 –> 01:26:37,840
mean muhammad
2094
01:26:34,239 –> 01:26:37,840
who the [ __ ] is jesus
Agents of DAMNED 