Episode 6: In the Eyes of the People

The Agents have their next assignment, which sees them heading to the magical town of Silverymoon. Can they solve the mystery of this political debacle while managing to keep their hands clean?

Transcription

In the Eyes of the People

[[Theme music plays]]

[Jordan]:  “Hello everyone and welcome back to Agents of DAMNED.  Our let’s play DnD podcast featuring myself, Jordan Roman, your sometimes benevolent, often malevolent dungeon master.  And I am of course joined by my fellow players:”

[Caitie]: “Hi guys, I’m Caitie and I play Saithe!”

[Christina]:  “Hey guys, I’m Christina and I play Winterra.”

[Drew]:  “And I’m Drew and I play the good doctor Arlo Agon.”

[Jordan]:  “So this is normally the part where I would attempt to try and find some sloppy transition into how something magical and fantastical happened last time, however I’ve had something actually brought to my attention that I feel is magical and fantastical that I wanted to bring up.  So you guys – not you guys the players my fellow podcastees – but you guys the listeners – please go look at our twitter feed.  And just, just take in the majesty that is our twitter handle. 

[[Christina giggles knowingly]]

[Jordan]:  “Because that is the most magically unintended thing I’ve seen since ‘ooze babies.’”

[Caitie]:  “Oh god, what is it?”

[Christina]:  “Go look!”

[Jordan]:  “Our twitter handle is ‘AgentsofD.’”

[Caitie]:  “Ayyyye”

[[Drew and Caitie both laugh]]

[Caitie]:  “Yeeees.”

[Jordan]:  “Isn’t that the best?”

[Caitie]:  “That is hilarious!”

[Jordan]:  “I know!”

[Caitie]:  “Agents of the D”

[Jordan]:  “You guys keep throwing the word ‘the’ in there, there’s not ‘the’ in there, it’s just ‘Agents of DAMNED,’ or in this case ‘ofD.’”

[Caitie]:  “Eh, you never corrected us in the beginning so now it’s just stuck.”

[Jordan]:  “Well that’s y’alls fault.  Anyway! How about a recap of the entire last mission that you guys have managed to wrap up before we get started into this new one?”  

[Caitie]:  “Let’s do it fam.”

[Drew]:  “Yeeep.”

[[Adventuring music plays]]

[Jordan]:  “Okay!  So last time the Agents encountered Elama in the treasure room of the Thornhold fortress.  She seemed surprised to see them instead of Milo, but was even more surprised to hear that he had been injured by a magical explosion.  After a brief discourse, the agents realized that Elama had no prior knowledge of the magical traps or the fact that Milo had been targeted.  Elama asked the Agents to take Milo out of Neverwinter to keep him safe.  However, they refused claiming that protecting the city was more important than one man. In response, Elama triggered a trap, closing the door and sealing the room.  Elama then told the agents what she knew about the man in black armor.  A man they now knew to be called – Ash.  The agents tried to reason with Elama to help them defeat Ash, but she was consumed by fear and convinced that beating him was all but impossible.  Elama filled the room with smoke and went into hiding but was quickly discovered and detained by the Agents. Despite this, Elama triggered one final trap, ending her own life with a well placed poison dart.  They delivered the body to Bardon, as well as a letter found in Milo’s office.  Bardon agreed to see it delivered to Milo, but said they had best leave Neverwinter immediately.  After returning to DAMNED HQ they met with three other teams:  Divine Shield, Second Chance, and Friday Night Fun Pals – before being sent to Raiann’s office for debriefing.     

However, they found that she was less than happy with their performance, citing a letter of complaint she had received from Bardon.  After reprimanding the Agents and having an intense verbal standoff with Arlo, Raiann sent the Agents to receive supplementary training with some of the agency’s veterans.  After speaking with Aelar, Arlo returned to Raiann to apologize for lashing out. The two reconciled and decided to start over, with a professional relationship.  Nearing the end of their time off, Saithe was visited by a figure from her past, who revealed himself to be Asmodeus.  He offered Saithe the boones of her grandparents, as well as a small black cat before disappearing into a black mist. And now, we resume our tale.

[[Music stops]]

[Jordan]:  “Saithe, you are still in this room – Asmodeus has just poofed away, and you’re just sitting there with this cat in your lap.  You don’t fully know exactly what this thing is capable of but you do sense a very powerful magic coming from it.  Especially from the three gems on its collar.  And you hear a voice in your head that says-”

[Asmodeus]:  “If ever you should need my power, draw from the boones and you shall receive my dark blessing.”

[Saithe]:  “Well that answers that question, I was just about to ask you if you talked.”

[Jordan]:  “That was NOT the cat.”  

[Caitie]:  “Oh.”

[Jordan]:  “That voice was just kind of in your head and you knew it was Asmodeus’ voice.”

[Caitie]:  “Oh fair enough, okay.”

[Saithe]:  “Well…can you talk then?”

[Jordan]:  “It just kind of like nuzzles up against you, it does not say anything.”

[Saithe]:  “I’m okay with this.”

[Jordan]:  “Do you alert your sleeping companions or do you just kind of shrug it off and go back to sleep?”

[Caitie]:  “It doesn’t seem like relevant information.”

[[Christina laughs and Drew chuckles]]

[Jordan]:  “I’m sorry, hold on a sec. Now I’m not one to try and influence your actions here, nor am I saying you should reconsider.  But do you really consider the fact that you were just visited by the ruler of the nine hells and bestowed a cat as well as several demonic powers to be ‘irrelevant information’?”

[Caitie]:  “Yeah of course, why not?”

[Jordan]:  “Alright fuck it!  Saithe goes back to sleep.”

[[All laugh]]

[Drew]:  “And it never came up again.”  

[[Upbeat tempo music plays]]

[Jordan]:  “Morning comes, everyone roll…just give me a raw luck check.”  

[Christina]:  “Uh, that’s a 20 on the die of course.” 

[Drew]:  “I got an 11.”

[Caitie]:  “Uh…well shit I got a 5.”

[Jordan]:  “Oh well, that’s interesting.  Winterra, you’re the first one to wake up.” 

[Christina]:  Chuckles  “Okay, cool.  I am wide awake like off the bat, like,”

[Winterra]:  “This is such a great-”  Sniffs the air “-cat?  Why do I smell a cat?”

[[Mordecai barks in the background – sorry guys, see the dog tax at the end for the inconvenience!!]]

[Drew]:  “Oh, pause for a sec.”  

[Jordan]:  “I smell cat and I hear dog!”

[[All laugh]]

[Caitie]:  “My cat is broken!”

[Christina]:  “So I’m like,”

[Winterra]:  “Why do I smell a cat, that’s so strange…”

[Christina]:  “And I’m gonna look around and kind of confusedly see if there’s a cat in the room – do I notice the cat yet?”   

[Jordan]:  “Yeah no, you follow the smell and you walk over to Saithe’s bed and sure enough she is kind of just cuddled up with this small black cat with this weird looking collar that has three gems on it.”

[Winterra]:  “Huh.”

[Christina]:  “So they’re both still asleep?”  

[Jordan]:  “They’re still asleep, she rolled garbage.”

[Christina]:  “Okay…I don’t know how to wake up Saithe without risking her trying to slit my throat.”      

[[Jordan snorts]]             

[Caitie]:  “That’s a fair point.”

[Christina]:  “And I feel like if I’m just staring at her, that would be still creepy.”  Giggles  “So I’m just going to kind of squint at the cat and just,”

[Winterra]:  “I don’t understand, do we even have cats at the headquarters?  Do they just wander around?”

[Christina]:  “And I’m just gonna go, um- gonna go wake up Arlo like-”

[Winterra]:  “Arlo…Arlo get up! Hey, psst!”

[Arlo]:  “Hey, huh, wh-what’s going on?”

[Winterra]:  Whispers  “Hey, has there always been a cat in this room?”

[Arlo]:  “Um.  I want to say no.  Why?  Why would there be a cat?” 

[Winterra]:  “Look, there’s a cat sleeping with Saithe.”

[Arlo]:  “Huh.  That is…that is peculiar.  To say the least.”

[Winterra]:  “I’ve never noticed cats in the headquarters, they don’t just wander around right?”

[Arlo]:  “I – I would assume with how regulatory this place is that there’s a strict no pets policy.”

[Jordan]:  “I will also point out for the two of you that your headquarters is located in a pocket dimension located on a gem on the back of a dragon turtle that swims in the ocean.”

[Christina]:  “I didn’t say that Terra was smart.”

[Drew]:  “Oh shit yeah.”

[Winterra]:  “Hm, that’s weird.  I don’t want to wake her up because I’m afraid that she’ll try to kill me, because I feel like she’s done that once a week…at best.”

[Arlo]:  “Hey I have a plan.  Okay so  it’s gonna take some, some laser focus, some pinpoint precision, but if we pull this off it just might work… are you ready?”

[Winterra]:  “Yes.”

[Drew]:  “Alright so Arlo gets up out of his bed and like gets near enough to Saithe’s bed that you know he’s like within talking distance but not within any of her striking distance like he doesn’t get- like he kind of sizes her up and he’s like I’m not gonna get within reach of her arms or legs-”

[Jordan]:  “Or tail.”

[Drew]:  “And he takes in a deep deep breath.  And he goes-”

[Arlo]:  “SAITHE WAKE UP THERE’S A CAT ON YOU.”

[[Christina laughs and Jordan snickers]]

[Jordan]:  “Saithe you wake up.”

[Saithe]:  “There better be a good reason for this.”

[Arlo]:  “Uh- there is a cat on you.”

[Saithe]:  “Yeah?  He’s always been here.”

[Winterra]:  “What?”

[Arlo]:  “What, no he hasn’t.”

[Saithe]:  “Y’all are crazy.”

[Jordan]:  Amused “Roll deception with disadvantage.”  

[Caitie]:  “12.”

[Jordan]:  “Um, yeah no, they are not buying it.”

[[Caitie laughs]]

[Arlo]:  “Saithe you definitely did not have that cat. I’d ‘ve noticed that cat as it is…unsettling for some reason.”

[Saithe]:  “Don’t you worry about Modi!  He’s a good boy!” 

[Arlo]:  “His name’s Modi?” 

[Saithe]:  “Modi, that’s right!”

[Caitie]:  “She’s just gonna scritch him behind the ears.”   

[Jordan]:  “He purrs.”     

[Christina]:  “Terra is going to get closer to the cat, cause she can talk with cats, so – she can talk with animals in general that are beasts-”

[Jordan]:  “Mhm.”

[Christina]:  “-like of a cat size.  So she’s going to go up to it and go-”

[Winterra]:  “Are you a good boy?”  

[Jordan]:  “It nods its head to the side, but it does not respond.”

[Winterra]:  “Huh. Are you- are you just shy?”

[Jordan]:  “It starts grooming itself.”        

[Winterra]:  “Uh-huh…”

[Christina]:  “Terra kind of looks back at Saithe and gives her like an incredulous eyebrow up look like-”

[Winterra]:  “I don’t think this is a normal cat…”

[Saithe]:  “I don’t think you’re a normal person!”  

[Winterra]:  “I mean that’s a fair statement.  I am literally a bear person.” 

[Saithe]:  “Well Modi, let’s go get some breakfast!” 

[Arlo]:  “Hey, you- you can’t just go to break- you have the cat, a cat that defies all explanation and possibility!”

[Jordan]:  “And so Saithe walks down the hallway over to the meal hall with Arlo following behind firing off a barrage of unending questions.”   

[[Drum heavy music plays]]

[Jordan]:  “Well now that that scene has ended, now feels like as good as a time as any to mention the Agents are now level 5!”    

[Caitie]:  “Bah-duh-duh-duh!”

[Drew]:  “Duh duh duh duh duh duh, duh duh duh!”

[Jordan]:  “We did go into a pretty in depth discussion on that one over on our peek behind the screen from last week so if you guys want to just real quick want to go over what you guys gained out of your levels then go ahead and do that and then we can proceed to plot.”

[Caitie]:  “I’m a wizard now!”

[Jordan]:  “You are not, don’t lie – that’s a class.”  

[[Caitie snickers]]

[Drew]:  “Yer a wizard Saithe!”

[[Christina and Caitie both laugh]]

[Jordan]:  “No, Saithe is actually multiclassed into a warlock so she is 3 levels rogue, 2 levels warlock.”

[Caitie]:  “I’m just that awesome.” 

[Jordan]:  “Do you two want to talk about what you guys did or can we move on?”

[Christina]:  “Oh yeah, so I can warcast now which is pretty awesome. And I can do a lot of new cool spells like finally being able to conjure animals!”

[Drew]:  “I took some stat boosts so I will no longer be sucking negatives in charisma checks and stuff, and to even out my wisdom score.  Um, I’m now level 5 cleric which means I’ve got access to a slew of new spells which are going to be super fun and dope, and might even be a little bit dumb sometimes.”

[Jordan]:  “I expect nothing less with you guys.” 

[Caitie]:  “We’re gonna have a good time.”

[Drew]:  “Oh I do have access to revivify so we can use that like as a segway into the things that Jordan wanted to talk about bringing people back to life.”

[Jordan]:  “Oh yeah.  I’ll be real quick on this one.  If they ever need to use a spell like revivify to bring someone back from dead-dead, like no death saving throws, they failed all of those their character is gone they’ve got to roll a new one, those do require material components- I otherwise normally don’t care but I need to make this have stakes so that is the one kind of spell they cannot just do without material components.  So just have whatever it calls for or just equivalent gold amount, whatever that is. I am trusting you guys not to cheat me on that one.

So you guys are now in the cafeteria, you guys are enjoying your breakfast, just same as its always been, usual arrangement, eggs-”

[Caitie]:  “Oh, oh oh!  Does cappuccino make me a coffee?”

[Jordan]:  “Who the fuck is cappuccino?” 

[Caitie]:  “D- oh, mmmm…Espresso!”

[Drew]:  “Espresso!”

[Jordan]:  “There you go!  Do you go up and ask for one because they don’t just give them shits out.”

[Caitie]:  “Hell yeah I’m gonna go ask for a coffee from my little dude.”

[Jordan]:  “Alright, so you head on over to Orilo who you know is Espresso’s caretaker.”

[Orilo]:  “Ah, hello Saithe.  Can I help you with anything else?”

[Saithe]:  “No Orilo, I would just like some coffee please.”

[Orilo]:  “Ah, very well.”

[Jordan]:  “And he just presents you with a cup.”

[Saithe]:  “I would like it with Espresso please.”

[Orilo]:  “Ahh, I see.  Pep in your step today.  I understand.”

[Saithe]:  “Yes please.”  

[Orilo]:  “Oh, well the espresso does actually cost a little bit extra I do hate to say it. Do you have a spare 10 gold?”

[Saithe]:  “Yes, absolutely.”

[Jordan]:  “Alright, you exchange that and he rustles on his shoulder and he’s like,”

[Orilo]:  “Alright little friend, time to do your job.”  

[Jordan]:  “And so as you saw in Raiann’s office a few weeks back, a little brown dragon just shimmies his way out of the bag, down his arm, and spits in your drink.”

[Caitie]:  “Yay!”

[Jordan]:  “And then he crawls back up into Orilo’s satchel and just kind of re-nestles himself.”

[Caitie]:  “So cute!  Aww, so kawaii!!  Kawaii-desu!”

[[Jordan chuckles]]

[Drew]:  “Weeb.”

[[Christina laughs]]

[Christina]:  “Speaking of gold and money, how do we get paid from working as an agent?”

[Jordan]:  “Ah, yes.”

[Drew]:  “Oh shit.  I forgot about that.”

[Jordan]:  “I was going to get to that, don’t worry.  For the last job each of you got 2000 gold.”

[Caitie]:  “Ayyye.”       

[Drew]:  “Damn!”

[Caitie]:  “Nice.”

[Jordan]:  “Yeah no, despite-”

[Drew]:  “Ya boy going shopping.”

[Jordan]:  “Despite what Raiann viewed as a less than optimal performance, you guys did still do the job. So you get paid for it.  So Saithe, I assume you do drink the coffee while you’re in here, you didn’t just want to see your good buddy.”    

[Caitie]:  “Yeah no, of course she drinks the coffee.” 

[Jordan]:  “As you drink this, it’s definitely stronger than most other co- than any other coffee you’ve had. But it doesn’t taste bitter, it still goes down very smoothly.  And you feel energized in a way you’ve never felt before.  For this first day, so once you guys get sent out on your mission – that starts your first day, you are under the effect of the ‘haste’ spell.”

[Caitie]:  “Nice.”

[Jordan]:  “Now this will-”

[Christina]:  Concerned “Ooh.”

[Jordan]:  “Uh-huh! Now there’s a catch.  It lasts until your first short or long rest, but if you take a short rest first you suffer a point of exhaustion.”

[Caitie]: “Okay.”

[Jordan]:  “And you will continue to gain additional points of exhaustion for each short rest you take before your next long rest.  Only a long rest can cure those points of exhaustion.”

[Caitie]:  “Okay!”

[Jordan]:  “Knowing this, does anyone else want to get a cup of coffee?”

[Drew]:  “Hm.  I mean like, in character Arlo’s coming down the mess hall with Saithe like still asking a barrage of questions about the cat.  And he kind of stops when he sees Orilo and he’s like-”

[Arlo]  “Orilo, help me out on this one.  Like did- like how would a cat get in here?  Like explain to me if you woke up and there was a cat, how the cat would get in there.”

[Orilo]:  “Well someone could have brought it in, but as far as wandering in that’s quite literally impossible.”

[Arlo]:  “Okay so I’m not being crazy when like, you wake up and there’s a cat and then Saithe is like – eh you know it’s a cat.”   

[Orilo]:  “Well Saithe, did you bring the cat in?”    

[Saithe]:  “He’s always been here!”

[Arlo]:  “He has definitely not ALWAYS been here.”   

[Orilo]:  “I have to admit I don’t remember you owning a cat until recently.  Or ever, honestly.”

[Arlo]:  “She didn’t, she’s lyin’,her head is filthy with lies!”

[[Christina chuckles]]

[Saithe]:  “Is it?” 

[Arlo]:  “Alright, sorry, lost my cool there a bit. It’s a bit frustratin’.  Haven’t had my breakfast yet. Y’all, y’all got pancakes, you got flapjacks?”

[Orilo]:  “Oh, of course.”  

[Jordan]:  “And he whips out a fat stack of cakes.”

[Arlo]:  “Hell yeah, Orilo you’re the man”

[Drew]:  “And he goes for a high five.”

[Jordan]:  “Orilo definitely meets you.  It hurts a bit.”

[Drew]:  “Arlo shakes his hand a little bit but tries to hide that it hurt.”  

[Jordan]:  “What about Winterra?  Does Winterra now want a cup of coffee?”

[Christina]:  “Not coffee, but you know how in videos of nature documentaries when bears are looking for food they have that stalking look?” 

[Jordan]:  “Have you been stalking the cafeteria every time you came in here for a meal?”

[[Drew laughs]]

[Christina]:  Chuckles  “She just has that look, yeah.  Like she kind of like walks in and has a lumbering like ‘give me food’ look.  And that’s always how she is whenever she’s really hungry, especially first thing in the morning.  And so she walks in and is like,”

[Winterra]:  tired sounding voice  “I would like a fish please.”

[Orilo]:  “Of course.”

[Jordan]:  “And he prepares you a nova lox, extra lox.”

[[Christina giggles]]

[Christina]:  “She like scarfs it down and is like,”

[Winterra]:  Mimicking talking while eating “Thank you.”

[Orilo]:  “O-of course.  Always a pleasure to see you enjoy my food.”  

[Jordan]:  “So as you guys are enjoying your meal and as Arlo continues to berate Saithe with questions you guys hear an announcement over the intercom.”

[Raiann]:  “Will the Agents please report to my office for debriefing.”

[Jordan]:  “And it cuts off.”

[Caitie]:  “Saithe sighs heavily.”

[Drew]:  “Arlo like scooby doo style takes the stack of pancakes and then just shoves them in his mouth.”

[[Christina laugh]]

[Caitie]:  “I’m just gonna put a whole apple in my mouth.” 

[Jordan]:  “You guys have…can y’all dislocate your fucking jaws?” 

[Caitie]:  Laughs  “Yes.” 

[Jordan]:  “She runs down the hall with the apple still in her mouth.”

[Caitie]:  “A dry piece of toast.”  

[Jordan]:  “No no.  You said apple.  You get to do anime but wrong.”

[Caitie]:  “Anime gone wrong.  I love it.”    

[[Music changes to the uptempo strings music]]

[Jordan]:  “Alright, so you guys head on over to Raiann’s office and as you go in there you actually see that there is some other people in there with her.  Specifically, team ‘Second Chance’ who you met upon your return the first time – er, the last time I suppose.  Just a reminder, they consist of Rhelynn – a silver dragonborn, Forngal – a shifter, and an albino tiefling that refers to himself as 7.  And Raiann sees you all coming in and is like-”

[Raiann]:  “Ah, yes please, have a seat.”

[Drew]:  “Arlo takes his seat and kind of tips his hat.”

[Christina]:  “Winterra sits down and does it very quickly, afraid that she’s about to get yelled at again.”         

[Caitie]:  “Aww.”

[Jordan]:  Amused “The fear effect has long since worn off.”  

[Christina]:  “No but she remembers.”

[Jordan]:  “Fair.”

[Christina]:  “She’s not actually afraid-afraid, but in the back of her mind that’s a possibility so she wants to prevent it from happening.”   

[Caitie]:  “Awwwww.”    

[Jordan]:  “Aw, I feel bad now.”

[Caitie]:  “Poor baby.”

[Jordan]:  “So you all sit down and  she says,”

[Raiann]:  “So I trust that your supplementary training has been going well, yes?”  

[Saithe]:  “Yes ma’am!”      

[Raiann]:  “Excellent.”

[Arlo]:  “It has been going quite well.” 

[Raiann]:  “Well, you’ll have an excellent opportunity to put your skills to the test.  For now, I actually have a rather unusual job for you.  Very much different from the last one.  Tell me, are any of you familiar with the town of ‘Silverymoon?’” 

[Jordan]:  “Everyone roll me a history check on that one, Winterra you get advantage.”

[Drew]:  “12.”

[Christina]:  “14 and a 3, so 14!”

[[Jordan snickers]]

[Drew]: “So I feel like with a 12 Arlo’s like,”

[Arlo]:  “Ah Silverymoon that’s that one town there with the whatchacallit.”

[Drew]:  “And that’s all he can add to the situation.”

[[Christina laughs followed by Drew]]

[Caitie]:  “It’s a, I got a 15.”

[Jordan]:  “Okay so, Arlo as you stated you pretend to know what it is but you’re not familiar with ‘Silverymoon’ it’s not near any place you’ve ever been.  Winterra, it sounds vaguely familiar to you but you can’t quite place it.  It’s like, it sounds like a place that you’ve heard of but you just…like it’s on the tip of your tongue but you just can’t place it.  Saithe, you have heard of Silverymoon.  You don’t know too-too much about it though, all you know is that it is a forested or a more open in nature type village that has a strong emphasis on magic and supposedly has ties with the feywild.”

[Caitie]:  “Mmkay.”                          

[Drew]:  “Oh god.”

[Christina]:  “Exciting.”

[Drew]:  “That’s out of character, in character Arlo’s fine.  Out of character – fuck.”   

[Jordan]:  “Well in character Arlo doesn’t know that yet.”

[Christina]:  “You know when someone’s like kind of trying to remember something and they’re looking kind of up near the ceiling and they’re looking back and forth and kind of like a look of quizzity, like inquisity on their faces?  That’s like what Terra’s doing, she’s like-”

[Winterra]:  “I feel like I’ve heard of that place before.”

[Saithe]:  “That’s where the fey live, isn’t it?”

[Raiann]:  “Not quite, it’s places that…the place has ties with the feywild supposedly.  It’s a very magically oriented place.  Winterra I think I know why you may be so unsure of why you’ve heard of it.  If I’m correct I believe it’s actually near your home forest.”

[Jordan]:  “And as she says that it suddenly clicks.  That’s actually the town-”

[Christina]:  “Winterra snaps.”

[Winterra]: “Oh yeah!”

[Jordan]:  Chuckles “She snaps and goes crazy, kills everyone.”

[[All laugh]]                  

[Jordan]:  “But yes, you actually are familiar with Silverymoon because it is just north of your home ‘The Midnight Woods.’  A place that you have definitely heard tales of supposedly on certain nights that there’s portals that lead to the feywild.  But as far as you know they’re just stories, you’ve never actually seen one.  But you have actually had some people from Silverymoon come by to gather supplies, just things for like material components for spells, things for crafting artifacts, things of that nature.  So you are familiar with the place and after you’ve heard that it does – you do remember – it’s a nice place, you’ve heard good things.”

[Christina]:  “Mmm.  Yeah, she like snaps and she is like,”           

[Winterra]:  “Oh yeah, that’s right, I have heard of that place!  That’s why, okay.” 

[Raiann]:  “Well I’m going to be sending you all there for your next mission.  You see – this one is a little unorthodox and outside of our normal jurisdiction.  The current, or I suppose I should say former mayor of Silverymoon, Alustriel Silverhand, an extremely powerful wizard, has passed away recently.”

[Arlo]:  “He sounds quite illustrious.”  

[Raiann]:  “Yes.  Well, she’s been with the town for quite some time, several centuries.  She passed away of old age recently, very peacefully from my understanding.  However, that has left the town with a bit of a predicament.  They currently find themselves without a leader, so they decided to do the logical course of action. Hold an election.  Now, as I said – normally this is outside of our jurisdiction, we’re not allowed to involve ourselves in local politics or politics in any form really.  Unless it has any direct correlation with a potential cataclysm.  And- as has come up in recent development, this might just be such an instance.  There are currently three forerunners in this mayoral election.  Two of them do not present an issue.  The first of those is Niavara Yaeldrin – she was Miss Alustriel’s former apprentice.  She herself tries to hold onto the ancient traditions of the village and does hold those traditions in very high regard.  The other one is a young gnome by the name of Seebo Leffery. He’s the head of a group there known as ‘The Magical Improvement of Quality and Life.’  He is more focused on moving forward using magic.  He thinks that focusing on tradition can be more of a hindrance than a help.  So as you can imagine the two are very much polar opposites.  But as I said, those two by themselves are not a problem.  The problem is the third candidate – Granaphor. Granaphor believes in equality amongst all races.  And now I do not say that to mean I disagree, or even that I have an issue with such a concept.  However, when I say all races, I even mean the more monstrous ones, so not just the gathering that we have here as an example but throw in orcs, ogres, trolls, things of that nature.  It can be a bit extreme and the most concerning part is that a beholder has decided to take part in an election.”

[Arlo]:  “Ooooh.  Okay.  For a second there I was kind of like, well I mean maybe you know maybe we should hear the guy out.  And then the beholder.  The beholder part is concerning.”

[Raiann]:  “Yes.  That was my exact inclination.  As I’m sure you all know, beholders are not normally social creatures.  The fact that this one has decided to attempt the good nature and graces of Silverymoon in order to become their elected representative is concerning.  What’s more concerning, is he’s gaining headway.”

[Arlo]:  “Haha, headway, cause he’s a head.”

[Raiann]:  “Please try and stay focused doctor.  Now, as I’m sure you can imagine, it is not exactly within our or the world’s best interest to have such a deadly creature simply mingling around unattended. So, here is what your assignment is.  You and Second Chance are to both go to the town of Silverymoon and conduct an investigation on the nature of Granaphor.  I need you to find out whether or not he has ill intentions planned and whether this mayoral candidacy has anything else in the works. Whether it’s just a cover for something else who knows.  That is what I need you two to figure out.”

[Saithe]:  “What’s our directive if he is, or if he has bad intentions?”

[Raiann]:  “You are to report back to me immediately.  And we will figure things out from there.  HOWEVER.  You are under no circumstances to do anything that would compromise the nature of this election. As I said, we are not allowed to interfere with politics.  While this might be a problem, it could also simply be us sticking our noses in where it doesn’t belong and that is a level of bad press we simply cannot afford.  So, try to do this…carefully.”

[Arlo]:  “Would it be then beneficial for us to not identify ourselves as Agents while we’re there? Kind of an undercover type dealio?”

[Raiann]:  “It shouldn’t be an issue if you identify yourselves as agents as long as you do so under the guise of what this is – an investigation.  Nothing more, nothing less.  Do not do anything to provoke him, do not do anything that might cause some form of calamity or large scale disaster to unfold. Simply find out what his intentions are, if he truly does mean well, and report back.”

[Arlo]:  “Hm.  We’ve gotta make sure this beholder is beholden to the law.” 

[Saithe]:  “Oh my god Arlo please.”       

[Arlo]: “Yup.  I just said that.  I regret nothing.”

[Raiann]:  “And I regret so…so much.”

[Drew]:  “Arlo just gives her a wink and some finger guns.”

[Raiann]:  Ignoring him  “There is one other problem.  The final count of the election…is in seven days.  So you have until then to figure this out.  That’s why I am sending both of you.  Do you have any questions for me?”

[Arlo]:  “I think we’ve covered our bases pretty well, anyone else have anything they wanted to throw in there?  What about you Second Chance guys, you guys got any questions?”

[Jordan]:  “Rai- …I almost said it wrong… Rhelynn is the first one to chime in and says-”

[Rhelynn]:  “We’ve actually already been briefed on this.  We fully understand the situation.”

[Raiann]:  “Well, if everyone understands everything, then head on over to any of the shops that you might need in order to prepare yourselves and then rendezvous with Oudart and head out to Silverymoon as quickly as possible. You are all dismissed.”   

[[Music stops]]

[Jordan]:  “So you all head out, but before you all make it she actually calls out really quick-”

[Raiann]:  “Doctor- a moment please.”    

[Arlo]:  “Uh…yes boss lady?”

[Jordan]:  “You come back in, everyone else has left so it is just the two of you in there.”

[Drew]:  “Oh my, teacher holding Arlo after class.”

[Jordan]:  “Shut up.”    

[Drew]:  “Whatever will happen…”

[Caitie]:  “Oh god stop.”  

[Jordan]:  “Please.”

[Drew]:  “Never.”

[Raiann]:  “Doctor I understand that after the events of…your first mission that we needed to have a bit of a discussion as to the nature of how both of us handle ourselves.  However despite all of that there are a few things I do need to clarify. The actions that you all displayed while in Neverwinter are still a poor showing of what is expected of those with the agency.  I understand that we have since come to – worked past that now. You all have your training, you understand what is expected of you.  And you understand the severity of this particular situation should things go awry or not be handled correctly, yes?” 

[Drew]:  “Yeah, I understand fully.”

[Raiann]:  “Good.  The only thing that concerns me is that there are times when…tensions can get high. In situations like this it is not uncommon for people to lose their cool and to find themselves reacting sheerly on instinct.”

[Arlo]:  “Like with that damned cat.”

[Raiann]:  “I was wondering about that what’s- when did she get a cat?”

[Arlo]:  “See I’ve asked her the same question she keeps insisting it was like always here, it very clearly wasn’t, she’s – she’s ducking the issue, it bugs me…it bugs me to no end.”

[Raiann]:  “I’ll speak with her on that one after you all return, this is slightly more urgent than her- the taking of a pet. However, as I was saying…when people lose themselves to their emotions and their basic instincts, they need someone who can pull in the reigns and guide them back.”

[[Harp music plays]]

[Raiann]:  “And I believe as far as the Agents are concerned, you are that person.”

[Drew]:  “Arlo takes his hat off and like holds it in his hands like over his chest and he’s like-”

[Arlo]:  “Ma’am, are you sayin’ what I think you’re sayin’?”

[Raiann]:  “Doctor Arlo Agon, I am hereby officially naming you the captain of the team known as The Agents of DAMNED.”               

[Drew]:  “Arlo looks very serious and he’s like-”

[Arlo]:  “I am absolutely honored for the opportunity and I promise I won’t let you down.”

[Drew]:  “But while he’s been saying this very heartfelt thing the whole time his – involuntarily his fist has been doing that, that hell yeah fist pump thing.”

[Raiann]:  “Do you know why I have chosen you above your peers?”

[Arlo]:  “Um…process of elimination?”

[Raiann]:  “In a manner of speaking I suppose… You remember the letter I received from Bardon, yes?”

[Arlo]:  “Ah…that does ring a bell.”

[Raiann]:  “Well, in that letter he had very few good things to say about any of you.  The closest he ever got to that was more passiveness and a disregard towards Winterra who he claimed did more not bad as opposed to good.  However, that letter was sent out prior to you all escorting the shipment.  I’ve been in contact with him since then trying to persuade him that our agency is still necessary and that we should still be permitted within city limits.  And since then I’ve learned a few things.  One such thing was your reaction to Milo’s incident with the explosion. 

 While you were not the first to react you were the first to take appropriate action.  You leapt into the fray and saw to it that he was tended to.  Not only that, but shortly afterward you went to ensure that Bardon himself was fine.  All while bearing your mission in mind.  And while that is all certainly commendable, the one thing that I think surprised me the most was when you came back to me and apologized for your actions during your debriefing.  You made your opinions known and they were heard; however, for someone to…lash out as you did, but still be able to take a step back and realize the big picture, that to me, with everything else tells me that you, more than Saithe, more than Winterra, have a compassion for others and an understanding on what needs to be done.  That initiative, that care for others, makes some of the finest qualities I’ve ever seen for a leader.  Now know this – while I am making you the leader of the Agents, that does not mean you can boss them around and tell them what to do.  They are still your equal.  You are merely there to guide them and ensure that everything is done as it is needed to be.  You are their guiding light – ensuring that everything is handled correctly.  Can I trust you with this?”

[Arlo]:  “I swear to Bahamut almighty that I will not let you down.”

[Raiann]:  “That’s good to hear.  After all, my trust is not easily earned, but it is easily lost.  Ensure that I do not regret this decision doctor.  And may Bahamut guide your way.” 

[[Music ends jumping to upbeat adventuring music]]

[Jordan]:  “Arlo exits the office with Raiann and rejoins with Winterra and Saithe.  Second Chance has already gone off. They said they were going to take care of their shopping and preparations independently and they would meet up with you guys in the dispatch room with Oudart.  So for the time being it is just you three – was there any shopping or stuff you guys needed to get done?”

[Arlo]:  “We for sure need to stop by the..what have you…the armory and such.”

[Jordan]:  “Alright, so you guys head on over to the armory with Aelar, Morgran, and Nissa.  As per usual, they are all kind of working there and just sort of absentmindedly at their tasks not really noticing you guys.”

[Arlo]:  “Knock knock.”

[Jordan]:  “Aelar looks up-”

[Aelar]:  “Oh, hello love.”

[Arlo]:  “Hey there Aelar, how’s it hangin’?”                         

[Aelar]:  “Oh, much better now.”  

[Arlo]:  “I…what…I – I don’t know what that would mean and I’m afraid to ask.” 

[Jordan]:  “He winks.”

[Arlo]:  “Oh, that was a boner joke…”

[Saithe]:  “I feel uncomfortable.”

[Aelar]:  “Oh, don’t worry.  It’s just me and Arlo having a little bit of fun.  Oh!  Though Saithe dear, I do actually have that thing that we spoke about earlier.”

[Jordan]:  “And he kind of reaches under his little workstation area and pulls out a small black mask.”

[Saithe]:  “Oh, it’s perfect! I appreciate you for not over glamming it up!”

[Jordan]:  “Yeah, despite Aelar’s normal tendency on these things, this is actually a plain black mask that only covers the lower part of the face so the nose and eyes and all that stuff is still fully visible, it just covers the mouth.”

[Aelar]:  “Well I know you’re not a fan of my usual decorum and standards…and also as a stealthy person yourself I imagine you would like to keep the gaudiness as you so distastefully put it, to a minimum.”

[Saithe]:  “Yes, absolutely.  That and I’m trying to um… garner less attention on myself.  This big old smile doesn’t really do that.”

[Aelar]:  “It is a little…not subtle.”

[Saithe]:  “Yeah…”

[Arlo]:  “It is also deeply unsettling.”

[Saithe]:  “Which is wha-”

[Aelar]:  “I was trying to avoid that-”

[Saithe]:  “Which is what this is for!  Now I can hide in plain sight!”

[Jordan]:  “You guys actually hear Morgran speak over from the forge.”

[Morgan]:  “I ‘unno, I didn’t think it was that big a deal.” 

[Saithe]:  “Thank you Morgran!”

[Morgan]:  “You got it little lady!”

[Saithe]:  “Although, with-”

[Morgran]:  “Oh, by the way – Arlo-”

[Saithe]:  “With your name, which is ’Morgran’ I can see why you wouldn’t mind it!”  

[Morgran]:  “HAH!  That’s a good one, I like that.”

[Saithe]:  “Ha ha ha!”

[Arlo]:  “Haha, see this guy gets it.  Everyone knows that puns are the highest form of comedy.”

[Morgran]:  “Absolutely.  That is why I, Morgran Silveraxe, and definitely not the person voicing him believe.”  

[[Caitie and Drew laugh, Christina chuckles]]

[Morgran]:  “Fourth wall jokes aside- Arlo, I also got that thing the director told me to get set up for ya.  Think fast.”

[Jordan]:  “And he reaches under his forge and tosses you a set of nunchucks.”

[Drew]:  “Arlo kind of fumbles it.”

[Jordan]:  “What’d you get?”  

[Drew]:  “A 7.”

[Jordan]:  “I’ll say with a 7 what actually happens is you manage to catch one half of it but you forget it’s attached to a chain and the other half smacks you in the head.”  

[Caitie]:  “Hah!”

[Arlo]:  “Ah, bitch!  I mean, uh, thanks, sorry!”

[Morgran]:  “Hey, use whatever fucking language you want I don’t care!”

[Jordan]:  “Aelar just groans-”

[Aelar]:  “Please stop. So is there anything we can help you with aside from the pick up?” 

[Saithe]:  “I noticed you have a cloak of elvenkind!” 

[Aelar]:  “Ah, yes.  Were you by chance interested in that?”

[Saithe]:  “I am!  Very!” 

[Aelar]:  “Well for one cloak of elvenkind that will net you 150 gold.”

[Saithe]:  “No problem!”  

[Jordan]:  “Alright, you have yourself a cloak of elvenkind. Oh…real quick for the people at home so they know what this wonderful little thing is about, while you wear this cloak with its hood up, wisdom -or perception- checks made to see you have disadvantage and you have advantage on all dexterity stealth checks made while you hide as the cloak’s color shifts to camouflage you.  And then pulling the hood up or down requires an action.”

[Caitie]:  “Basically, I’ll be sneaky!”

[Jordan]:  “Uh, what do you want the – what’s the default color on the robe – er the cloak when you put it on?  Because I imagine it would attune to you.”  

[Caitie]:  “Green.”

[Jordan]:  “Like a dark green or a leafy green?”

[Caitie]:  “Do you remember that picture I posted in steam – not steam, I don’t know why I said steam-”

[Jordan]:  Laughs “Yes that you posted to your steam!”

[Caitie]:  -I posted it to my steam.  I have been mowing the lawn since 6am. Give me a break.”

[Drew]:  “You made a whole video game and it’s just a picture of Saithe.”

[Jordan]:  Laughs more “We made a game that is just a picture of Saithe!”

[Caitie]:  “Yes.  I posted a picture of Saithe wearing the cloak in um…discord.”

[Jordan]:  “Oh is that what that was for.  I just thought that was you having fun.”

[Caitie]:  “No it was me just having fun, but she’s wearing the cloak in it.”

[Jordan]:  “Okay, so it’s more of a dark green then.”

[Caitie]:  “Yeah.”

[Jordan]:  “Okay! Alright, anyone else got anything?”

[Christina]:  “So…in game is everything that’s available just on like…like a menu kind of thing or is this kind of stuff that we just find out about?”

[Jordan]:  “Uh, well you guys have been there for at least a month now, and I imagine you guys have gone back and forth between the various places, some probably more than others so you have an idea on what they have and you – if you want to flavor it as such you can say you requested something like how Saithe requested the mask and how Arlo had the nunchucks requested for him since he is now Raiann’s pupil.”

[Christina]:  “Mm.  Okay!  So Terra is going to go up and she – I forget who it is she would need to talk to about this but she’s going to request a shield. Um…”

[Jordan]:  “That would be Morgran.”

[Christina]:  “Okay.  So she goes up to Morgran, she’s like-”

[Winterra]:  “Hey! Um, so I have a cool idea, and I need a shield for it.  But I was hoping to have it be a sentinel shield.”

[Morgran]:  “Ah, you want one of them.  Alrighty, I think we can work with that.”

[Christina]:  “And would Morgran also handle enchanting any other magic weapons or is that someone else?” 

[Jordan]:  “Oh well technically that would be Nissa, but since they are a husband wife combo, sentinel shields are just something that he would innately have.”

[Christina]:  “Well this is for something else that she wants to do as well.”

[Jordan]:  “Oooh, okay.  So you want to further enchant the sentinel shield?”

[Christina]:  “Ah, no not the sentinel shield, but the scimitar that she carries.”

[Jordan]:  “Oooooh!  Okay, okay, okay.  So you want a sentinel shield and to enchant your scimitar.”    

[Chirstina]:  “Yes please.”

[Jordan]:  “Okay, I gotcha.” 

[Christina]:  “I would like to make an annoying weapon of warning.”  Giggles  “Hey, hey listen, hey, hey there’s something there, hey!” 

[Jordan]:  “Oh.  My actual god.”

[Christina]:  “Or or, and here’s another idea, you can just randomly put in pop references like ‘Hamilton’ with Washington where he goes, ‘I want to give you a word of warning’ it just randomly in the middle of the night starts singing at us.”     

[Caitie]:  “Oh my god.”

[Jordan]:  “While I like that idea, that would require me to be a lot more in tune with pop culture references to be able to do that.”

[[Christina chuckles]]

[Jordan]:  “So I like the idea but my own limitations force me to say no on that particular flavor.”

[Christina]:  Laughs  “Any kind of flavor, that was just my idea as far as how a weapon of warning would work.”

[Caitie]:  “Um-”

[Jordan]:  “I think I have an idea on what I want to do for that.  I’ll leave that a surprise for later though.”    

[[Christina giggles]]

[Drew]:  “Wait a weapon of warning that just sounds like Christopher Walken.”

[[Jordan laughs]]

[Drew]:  Doing a Christopher Walken impression “Like hey, you may want to watch out around this a corner here, there’s a-”

[Christina]:  “Or just screams.  So in the middle of the night everyone just is woken up by ‘Ahhhhhhhhhh!’”  

[Caitie]:  “Do a melee attack!”

[Drew]:  Chuckles  “So it just goes, Ahh!  Ahh!”

[Caitie]:  “Or a cow bell!”

[Jordan]:  “Oh my god. Uh, so the sentinel shield itself is 500 which Morgran explains,”

[Christina]:  “Mhm.”

[Jordan]:  “It’s very crass, just trust me on that one.  I don’t feel like doing his voice, it hurts my throat.  So for Sentinel Shield 500 and Weapon of Warning 150 gold is how I had that set.”

[Christina]:  “Yep!”   

[Jordan]:  “Okay!  So just so that everyone at home can know what these things are – the sentinel shield, while holding this shield you have advantage on initiative rolls and perception checks, and it is emblazoned with the symbol of an eye.  And then the weapon of warning…in this case for a scimitar – while the weapon is on your person you have advantage on initiative…you have two things with advantage on initiative, I’ll have to think about how that on how much I want to do that one-”

[Christina]:  “The initiative part isn’t what I was wanting to double up on either, so it’s fine if it’s just regular advantage. I was actually just, I saw that it gives warning and I immediately thought of the funny ways it could possibly give us warning.”

[Jordan]:  “Hey, fair enough.”

[Caitie]:  “Hey, listen!”

[Jordan]:  “In addition, you and any of your companions within 30 feet of you can’t be surprised except when incapacitated by something other than nonmagical sleep.  The weapon magically awakens you and your companions within range if any of you are sleeping naturally when combat begins.  So I can’t sneak up on you guys now while you’re camping.”

[Caitie]:  “Hah!”

[Drew]:  “Yay!”    

[Jordan]:  “Darn.”

[Drew]:  “Eat a dick Jordan!”    

[Caitie]:  “Suck it!”

[Jordan]:  “Now I’ve got to throw out my, like all of my session noise because that was all literally all I was going to do.  Just all of that.”

[[Christina snickers]]

[Caitie]:  “Just gone completely.”

[Jordan]:  “Just fuck you the camping trip.”

[Caitie]:  “Womp womp womp womp.  Hey by the way!  Can I also-”

[Drew]:  “Isn’t every camping trip ‘fuck you’ the camping trip?”

[Jordan]:  “Uh, yes but you know.”

[Caitie]:  “Can I also get the gloves of thievery and the boots of elvenkind?”

[Jordan]:  “That would be another 450 gold.  Please keep track of your money. I obviously do not have the means to keep track of all of that.”

[Caitie]:  “I’m doing it, no worries.”  

[Christina]:  “Mhm.”

[Jordan]:  “Good I am trusting you guys not to be abusive on this.”

[Caitie]:  “No promises.”

[Jordan]:  “Boots of elvenkind…while you wear these boots your steps make no sound regardless of the surface you are moving across. You also have advantage on dexterity stealth checks that rely on moving stealthfully.”

[Caitie]:  “Yep!”

[Jordan]:  “So really just doubling down on that stealth so I’m really not going to be able to do a whole lot…I’m going to have to readjust a couple things for some other stuff.”

[[Caitie laughs]]

[Jordan]:  “No because now one of the boones you could have gotten from your cat pact was advantage on stealth rolls.”

[Caitie]:  “Hah!  Yes!”

[Jordan]:  “So that is now worthless.”

[Caitie]:  “First of all, let me just say looking at my now level 5 character sheet, my advantage in stealth checks is plus 9!”    

[Jordan]:  “Oh yeah no.  If you ever get caught it’s because you’ve fucked up horribly.”

[Caitie]:  “Yeah I-”

[Jordan]:  “Or the other person has the eyes of a god.”

[Caitie]:  “I would have to roll like a critical failure in order for someone to notice me at this point.  Because now I have the cloak of elvenkind which gives me advantage, I have the boots of elvenkind which give me advantage, and now I have the plus 9 for a level 5 so…  I’m…I’m just sneaky!”

[Jordan]:  “I would also like to remind you guys at this point something that didn’t really come up in the first arc of this little campaign, but it is something I am going to be a little more attentive to going forward, I didn’t care as much the first time because none of the instances it came up was that important. The only time that nat1’s and nat20’s matter are for attack rolls.  Otherwise you still add your skill modifier so a nat20 is not a guaranteed success and and nat1 is not a guaranteed failure for things like skill checks.”

[Caitie]:  “Okay that makes sense.”

[Jordan]:  “But as for the gloves of thievery, these gloves are invisible while worn and while wearing them-”

[Drew]:  “Wait, what?”

[Jordan]:  “Yeah.”

[Drew]:  “Nice!”

[Jordan]:  “While wearing them you gain a plus 5 bonus to any dexterity or sleight of hand checks and dexterity checks made to pick locks.  I will also go ahead and make an executive ruling that because of how it works this plus five will also go towards anytime you decide to use the dagger of thieves.”

[Caitie]:  “Ayyyye.”

[Drew]:  “Hell yeah.”

[Jordan]:  “You are the thieviest thief to ever thief.” 

[Drew]:  “Oh my god, we’re going to have so many stolen goods.” 

[Jordan]:  “You better pray to god no one has good perception in this.”   

[Drew]:  “We’re going to effectively become like a cartel for selling fenced items.”

[Jordan]:  “You guys work for the government, please don’t.”

[[Christina giggles]]

[Caitie]:  “Does anybody need this stolen government weapon?”

[Jordan]:  “Is there anything else you guys need?  Please…”

[Drew]:  “Oh um I wanted to get a cloak of protection and a bag of holding from here.  And I also wanted to upgrade my hammer but we’ll handle that after the first two.”

[Caitie]:  “If you’re going to get a bag of holding we’re probably only going to need one.”

[Jordan]:  “Well you guys can handle that one later because the bag of holding is going to be at the general store, not here.”

[Caitie]:  “Ah, fair enough.”

[Drew]:  “Ahhhh. Alright.”                                                           

[Jordan]:  “So we’ll save that for my favorite stop.  But yeah, a cloak of protection is something you would need to get from Aelar.  And that would net you 100 gold.”   

[Arlo]:  “Alright, done and done.  Aelar, always a pleasure doing business wit ‘ya.” 

[Aelar]:  “Agreed.”

[Drew]: “And I wanted to enchant my hammer.” 

[Jordan]:  “Alright, so you go up to Nissa-”

[Nissa]:  “Oh, what were you thinking?”

[Drew]:  “So I take out the hammer and I’m like,”

[Arlo]:  “Oh, I just wanted to get a basic enchantment on this, just make it into a plus 1, and I’m gonna give you the hammer and you know pay you the money so you can enchant it…”

[Drew]:  “And he holds the hammer out with both hands.”

[Nissa]:  “Oh wow, this is very excellently made.  Is this dwarvish?”

[Arlo]:  “Uh, it is actually.  It was ah…mmm..we’ll call it a hand me down.”

[Nissa]:  “Oh, well I will be sure to take exceptionally good care of this.”

[Jordan]:  “So she, with all the care in the world, takes the hammer-”

[Drew]:  “I think like when she grabs it there’s like a moment where she grabs it and Arlo straight up doesn’t let go of it.”

[Christina]:  “Awww.”

[Drew]:  “And is like,”

[Arlo]: “I…um… I just- uh-”

[Drew]:  “And he one finger at a time lets go of it.”

[Arlo]:  “Okay, it is fine and it will be fine.”

[Nissa]:  “It’s okay dear, I’ve been doing this for a very very long time.  Probably since before you were even born.”   

[Caitie]:  “Rolls a critical fail.”   

[Drew]:  Laughs “Fuck no.”

[Jordan]:  “She trips and it shatters like glass.”

[Christina]:  “Oh no!”

[[Caitie laughs and Drew laughs harder]]

[Jordan]:  “Believe it or not I don’t have them roll skill checks to do this shit, it’s just what they do.”

[[Caitie and Drew are still laughing]]

[Jordan]:  “Motherfucker, no that’d be awful.”

[Drew]:  “I do think that Arlo is literally like watching her enchant the hammer like if you’ve ever seen a teenager who’s had their phone taken away, you can visibly see it.” 

[Jordan]:  “I could’ve drawn several parallels for that one but thank you for the most dad one you could’ve given us.”       

[Drew]:  “Well I’ve got that dad energy now.”

[Jordan]:  “Alright yeah, so that one’s going to be 500 gold for you to get a plus 1 hammer.”

[Drew]:  “Schwayze.”

[Jordan]:  “Alright, um – so is that everything you guys needed out of the armory?”

[[Christina and Caitie affirm in unison]]

[Jordan]:  “Alright!  Well since your next stop involves a bag of holding, you know where it’s time to goooo!”

[[Music changes from upbeat adventuring music to bagpipe music]]

[Drew]:  “I think they take a second to sure themselves up and is like,”

[Arlo]:  “Alright guys so – we wanted to get that bag of holding and I also need to get some HP potions just in case so…we have to…”  Through gritted teeth “Go. See. Rick.”

[Saithe]:  “They’re not as bad as we originally thought! Trust me!”

[Arlo]: “Oh yeah, you and Rick have been hanging out.   Um…how is…he and that?”

[Saithe]:  “Hm!  Pretty good I guess!  Surviving, thriving!”  

[Arlo]:  “Like…I’ve been meaning to ask you, like- have you been okay?”

[Saithe]:  “Oh, yeah!  Absolutely!  They’re the ones that taught me to hide in plain sight!”

[Caitie]:  “She says as she’s putting the mask over her glaring smile.”

[Winterra]:  “They’re?..Like Little Rick is helping too?”

[Saithe]:  “Yeah actually!  You would be surprised but he’s actually pretty good at fighting!”  

[Winterra]:  “Hm!”

[Arlo]:  “Huh.”

[Saithe]:  “I’ve never been knocked down by a bird before.”

[Winterra]:  “They can certainly be very stealthy.”        

[Caitie]:  “Saithe wants to try to sneak into the store without him noticing her. I’m gonna put up the hood!”

[Jordan]:  “Oooh, alright!  Roll me a stealth check!”

[Caitie]:  “With advantage bitches!  27.”

[Drew]:  “God. Damn.”

[Jordan]:  “I have a feeling I’m kind of wasting my time but I do need to see how well-”

[[Caitie is laughing in the background]]

[Drew]:  “Jordan you have allowed this shit, this is your life now.”

[Jordan]:  “I’m aware.  I just need to see if Slavenly can somehow, some way notice this.  Oh!  Actually he’s got pretty decent perception. Actually, who am I kidding, even if I roll a fucking nat20 based on my own rules he can’t see you.”  

[Caitie]:  “Hah!”

[Jordan]:  “So it Saithe the only one going in there right now or is everyone else following too?”

[Caitie]:  “Okay, before they do that I want to sneak up and scare Little Rick.”

[Jordan]:  “Oooooh.”

[Drew]:  “That’s adorable!”

[Jordan]:  “Oh, you’re doing it to Little Rick then I – hold on let me just see what his perception is.”

[Caitie]:  “Okay, but- but I would do it to big Rick, but big Rick is a big blob hanging around in the ceiling and I figured Little Rick would probably be an easier target.”  

[Jordan]:  Chuckles  “To be fair, it’s not like either one of them can really – oh, oh shit no he actually has like baller ass perception.  Hold on!”

[Caitie]:  “Get it Little Rick!”

[Jordan]:  “Holy shit.  Okay.  So you do not initially see Little Rick there, however you’ve also been in the shop enough times and seen their little spiel often enough to know that Little Rick always hides behind the counter.  You see Rick Slavenly in there, and as of right now Rick Slavenly has not started his greeting.”

[Caitie]:  “Which means he hasn’t seen me yet!” 

[Jordan]:  “Rick Slavenly has not- how do you approach? Also, I will just go ahead and say, as you see Rick Slavenly there, he is just standing unnervingly still.” 

[Caitie]:  “Well he’s a dead body!”

[Jordan]:  “Technically speaking he’s just the projection of a dead body but yeah no, he’s just like basically a mannequin.”

[Caitie]:  “I’m just gonna like tiptoe…through the window…by the window…sorry, um-yeah she’s just gonna, she’s wearing those new boots y’know so she’s got no sound going on, she’s just going to tiptoe up to the counter and keep low, keep her head down, hood up, and try to sneak behind it.”

[Jordan]:  “Alright, you work your way around and you see Little Rick playing with a deck of cards. He has not noticed you.”

[Drew]:  “Ooooooooh!”

[Caitie]:  “Hm!  I’m gonna scare him!”

[Jordan]:  “Alright, you sneak up behind him and- how do you scare him?”

[Caitie]:  “I’m just gonna go-”

[Saithe]:  “Hi Little Rick!” 

[Jordan]:  “Both he and Rick Slavenly almost simultaneously just go,”

[Rick]:  “AAAGH!”

[Little Rick]:   “AAAGH!”

[[Drew and Caitie laugh]]

[Jordan]:  “And Little Rick jumps up real high, like you spooked him!  I’m debating giving him psychic damage.”

[Saithe]:  “Ha, ha, ha!”

[Drew]:  “Does he grab onto the ceiling like a cat?  Like a cartoon cat?”

[Jordan]:  “He grabs onto like a nearby shelf full of like vials and various other things and he’s just like catching his breath, and he just looks over and he sees you and says-”

[Little Rick]:  “Very good!” 

[Saithe]:  “Ha, ha, ha, ha!  I guess our training went pretty well!”

[Little Rick]:  “Indeed!” 

[Jordan]:  “And then Rick Slavenly chimes in with-”

[Rick]:  “What the hell is going on!”

[Saithe]:  “Hi Rick!  I learned how to hide in plain sight!”

[Rick]:  “I’ll say you did! You did a bit more than that!”

[[Caitie laughs and Christina giggles]]

[Rick]:  “I mean good job but lord almighty!  If I had a heart I don’t think it’d be tickin right now!”  

[Saithe]:  “Ha, ha, ha, ha!  Worth it!”              

[Jordan]:  “Have Arlo and Winterra since entered?” 

[Christina]:  “I think so.”

[Drew]:  “I think we entered after we heard the screams and stuff.”

[Christina]: “Right.”

[Jordan]:  “Oh, so then you heard his comment about not having a heart.” 

[Arlo]: “Wait Rick, do you not have a heart?”

[Rick]:  “Oh my g-!  What is with you people today?!”

[[Christina laughs]]

[Rick]:  “Also no, of course I don’t.  Why would I?”

[Winterra]:  “What!?”

[Arlo]:   “Um, I-”

[Saithe]:  “Oh!  I never told them!”

[Winterra]:  “I’m confused…”

[Rick]:  “Wait, I didn’t tell you guys either- well actually I guess that makes sense…”

[Winterra]:  “Tell us what?”

[Arlo]:  “I am confused.”

[Rick]: “Take a step back for me please.” 

[Jordan]:  “As you guys step back, as with Saithe you see this large red mass drop from the ceiling and land in front of you two.  This thing is roughly the size of both of you.  Like if you had not stepped back it would have engulfed you both.  And then you hear Rick Slavenly say,”

[Rick]:  “Winterra, Arlo meet me.  Me, meet Arlo and Winterra.  Hah, it’s a little joke I have I tease.”

[Drew]:  “Yeah I think Arlo reacts similarly in that his initial reaction is like,”

[Arlo]:  “Ahh, ahh! What the fuck!?  Oh, okay…that is…okay, we’re good.”

[Christina]:  “So Winterra even though she was expecting something like innately lets out a low growl and then has to stop herself like-”

[Winterra]:  “No, no it’s fine.”   

[Arlo]:  “So um…Saithe you knew um… that Rick was an, um – I’m gonna do a little inspection here I’m gonna say you’re an Oblex Rick?”

[Rick]:  “Why yes!  Wow, I’m impressed that you knew that.”

[Arlo]:  “Medical knowledge son. But uh, Saithe were you going to let us know at any point?”

[Saithe]:  “It didn’t seem like relevant information!”

[Arlo]:  “Um…alright…sure Saithe.” 

[Rick]:  “So can we help you guys or did you just, Saithe did you just want to have fun with Little Rick?” 

[Winterra]:  “Uh-huh…”

[Saithe]:  “Well there is that, but yes we did come here to shop around!” 

[Rick]:  “Oh excellent!  Whose wares did you need to partake in?”

[Saithe]: “Arlo?”

[Drew]:  “Okay so Arlo kind of comes in and he’s like-”

[Arlo]:  “Um, well.  I wanted to uh- I heard you guys had a bag of holding here and I also needed a couple of just some standard health potions, probably about 4 of ‘em.”

[Rick]:  “Ah, excellent!”   

[Jordan]:  “And you see Little Rick also, like he doesn’t immediately jump down, he kind of like scurries up the shelf a little bit that he’s on, reaches like deep, deep in there, grabs something and then jumps back down and he is in fact holding a bag of holding.”

[Arlo]:  “Ah, so this is on of them there bag of holdings, I’ve always heard about one of these things, but I’ve never seen one in person. I hear this thing can hold damn near anything, can’t it?”

[Little Rick]:  “Yeees.  That’ll be 200 gold.”

[Arlo]:  “Here you are my good man.”

[Jordan]:  “Alright he gives you that. Now I feel like this is sort of beating a dead horse here but we’ve been doing it for all the other stuff so I would be remiss not to read the specifics of the bag of holding ‘cause there is some dumb shenanigans y’all can do with it.  This bag has an interior space considerably larger than its outside dimensions.  Roughly two feet in diameter at the mouth and four feet deep.  The bag can hold up to 500 pounds, not exceeding a volume of 64 cubic feet.  The bag weighs 15 pounds regardless of its contents.  Retrieving an item from the bag requires an action. If the bag is overloaded, pierced, or torn, it ruptures and is destroyed and its contents are scattered in the astral plane.  If the bag is turned inside out its contents spill forth unharmed but the bag must be put right before it can be used again.  Breathing creatures inside the bag can survive equal to a number of minutes of 10 divided by the number of creatures, minimum 1 minute.  After which they begin to suffocate.”

[Drew]:  “Hey, uh Jordan?”

[Jordan]:  “Yes?”

[Drew]: “Do oozes breathe?”              

[Jordan]:  “No.”

[Drew]:  “I’m gonna put a pin in that for a later idea.” 

[Jordan]:  “I’m super uncomfortable with it but okay.”

[Drew]:  “No, nah it’ll be fine don’t worry about it!”      

[Jordan]:  “Um, real quick, while Rick Slavenly is procuring your – you said 4 potions, right?” 

[Drew]:  “Yep!” 

[Jordan]:  “Okay, so.  While you do that, roll me a quick perception check.”

[Drew]:  “A 14.”

[Jordan]:  “You notice that there’s a small tag on the bottom of the bag of holding that has  aset of initials on it.”

[[Christina laughs]]  

[Drew]:  “What are the initials?”   

[Jordan]:  “It’s W and S.”               

[Drew]:  “Alright, so I notice the W and S at the bottom of the bag and I guess Arlo would ask Rick like-”

[Arlo]:  “Uh, hey Rick?  What’s with the whole monogram thing over on the bottom of the bag?”

[Jordan]:  “He shrugs his shoulders and dips back behind the counter.  At this point Rick Slavenly comes back and says-”      

[Rick]:  “Here’s your 4 potions, that’ll be 200 gold.” 

[Arlo]:  “I’ll pay that to you gladly my friend. Um hey, quick question about this bag.  There’s some initials on it, what’s up with that?”     

[Rick]:  “Oh, I have honestly no idea.  Little Rick is his own supplier, and honestly I have no idea where he gets these things. But it’s good for business.”

[Arlo]:  “Huh.  Well I’m gonna stop asking questions when I come here.”

[Jordan]:  “Um, Winterra, actually really quick since you are the one holding it, would you like to roll a quick perception check on the alchemy jug you guys never used?”  

[Drew]:  “Oh god.”        

[Jordan]:  “There are also initials on the bottom of the jug.”

[Christina]:  “Oh.  Interesting.”

[Jordan]:  “That read M.S.” 

[Christina]:  “That could be an interesting thought for the item I was about to ask for.”  

[Jordan]:  “Okay, good.  What did you want to buy?”

[Christina]:  “The periapt of wound closure…”

[Jordan]:  “Oooh, okay.”

[Christina]:  “…and the ring of mind shielding.”  

[Jordan]:  “Oooh, very cool.  Okay, while you wear this pendant you stabilize whenever you are dying at the start of your turn, in addition whenever you roll a hit die to regain hit points, double the number of hit points it restores.  That’s for the periapt of wound closure.  The ring of mind shielding… while wearing this ring you are immune to magic that allows others to read your thoughts, determine if you are lying, or your alignment, or know your creature type. Creatures can telepathically communicate with you only if you allow it.  You can use an action to cause the ring to become invisible until you use another action to make it visible, until you remove the ring, or until you die.  If you die while wearing the ring, your soul enters it, unless it already houses a soul-”

[Christina]:  “Mhm!”

[Drew]:  “Um!!!”

[Christina]:  “Yep, that’s what I was concerned about.”

[Drew]:  “Um!!! Um!!!”

[Jordan]:  “You can remain in the ring or depart for the afterlife.  As long as your soul is in the ring you can telepathically communicate with any creature wearing it.  A wearer can’t prevent this telepathic communication.” 

[Caitie]:  “Nice.”

[Christina]:  “Yep.  So when I put it on do I hear a ghost?  Do we have a new ghost friend?”

[Jordan]:  “Have you paid for it first?  Because those things aren’t just free.”  

[Christina]:  “No, I know.  I do.”

[Jordan]:  “Alright, so you give him the 700 gold for it and as you put on the ring..”

[Ghost]:  “What…who- who is this!?  What is going on??  Where am I???”

[Christina]:  “Yep.  Yeah, uh-huh.  Mhm.”

[Drew]:  “Oh god.”

[Caitie]:  “Oh no.”             

[Christina]:  “We’ve got a ghost…”

[Winterra]:  “Wait, wait.  Why is there..why am I – who am I hearing, who are you?” 

[Ghost]:  “Ah yes, I am-”

[Jordan]:  “Give me a minute to think of a name because I had not anticipated this…”

[[Christina laughs]]

[Jordan]:  “As per usual, you fuckers have caught me off guard.”   

[[Caitie joins Christina in laughing]]

[Jordan]:  “Uh…oh shit!  I know exactly who I want to use for this one!  Okay!”  

[Ghost]:  “My name is uh…Pindleton.  I am a great great warrior from where was it…I’m not sure why but I am having trouble remembering things.  Who are you and why can’t I feel my toes?”

[Winterra]:  “Ah…”

[Christina]:  “So this is telepathically right?”

[Jordan]:  “It is telepathically..wait, are you speaking out loud?”  

[Christina]:  Laughs  “Um, no.  She’s doing it telepathically, she’s thinking.  I think she’ll probably be able to feel the difference.”

[Jordan]:  “So you’re just staring off into the void after you’ve put on this ring.” 

[Christina]:  “Basically.  Like making weird faces every so often. Um…but she responds back to the guy, she’s like-”

[Winterra]:  Telepathically “Well my name is Terra… um…I started hearing you after I put on this ring… uh…”

[Pindleton]:  “Ring, what ring?”

[Winterra]:  Telepathically  “Uh, well it’s a ring of mind shielding…I’m…”            

[Pindleton]:  “Wait, the one with the purple gem?”

[Christina]:  “She looks down.”

[Jordan]:  “It does have a purple gem.”

[Winterra]:  Telepathically “Yeah, that one.” 

[Pindleton]:  “That’s my ring!  Why are you wearing my ring, give it back!”  

[Winterra]:  “Oh…I just bought it at a store…I don’t…I don’t think…err…”

[Christina]:  “Can I roll insight to see if she would know if he’s dead?”

[Jordan]:  “Uh…yeah.”

[Christina]:  “Okay…that’s an…11?”

[Jordan]:  “You assume it’s some sort of spirit attached to the ring, and just given the context of how this guy is talking it would not be a major leap in logic to assume it’s a departed spirit.” 

[Christina]:  “Uh-huh.  So she responds back then, she goes-”

[Winterra]:  Telepathically “I don’t think you um…have  a physical body anymore… I think that your spirit is in the ring um…”

[Pindleton]:  “Oh.  Oh no.  You’re saying I’m dead?!”

[Winterra]:  Telepathically  “Um…that would be my best guess.”

[Pindleton]:  “Oh no!!!”

[Jordan]:  “And you just hear sobbing from inside the ring before it kind of just fades away.”          

[Saithe]:  “Winterra?  Are you okay over there?”  

[Christina]:  “Terra just kind of looks down at the ring and puts her hands on her head and she’s just like-”

[Winterra]:  “We have a new friend travelling with us I think.  I can’t get rid of him.  Why is he in the ring?” 

[Arlo]:  “I’m sorry.  He’s in the what?”

[Winterra]:  “I put the ring on, and now there’s a guy who I can hear… and I couldn’t hear him before.   So its not – not normal.  Ummm…”

[Saithe]:  “I think they call that schizophrenia!”   

[[Jordan snickers]]

[Winterra]:  “Ehhhh….I don’t.  I don’t know about that.  But I know that I didn’t hear this guy before and um…I think he’s a dead guy, um…so I think he’s trapped in the ring?” 

[Arlo]:  “Now Winterra.  Are you sure this voice only started when you put the ring on or are have you heard the voice before?  And has the voice told you to do anything or hurt any people or…what’s going on?  Talk to me buddy.”

[Christina]:  “She snorts at you and she goes-”

[Winterra]:  “No!  I just told you I didn’t hear voices before this is new!!” 

[Arlo]:  “Alright, alright.  I gotta check. Um…”

[Saithe]:  “Just making sure.  No need to get testy.”  

[Caitie]:  “Meanwhile Saithe puts a stone of good luck, a bag of dust of sneezing and choking, and a ring of featherfall on the counter.”

[Jordan]:  “I’m just going to toss this one out there real fast, your cat does that.”

[Caitie]:  “…Nevermind.”

[Jordan]:  “So you don’t need the ring unless you’re just feeling charitable towards one of your more gravity prone allies.”

[Caitie]:  “A bag of dust of sneezing and choking-”

[Jordan]:  “Okay.”

[Caitie]:  “And a stone of good luck.”           

[Jordan]:  “Okay – so the dust of sneezing and choking.  Found in a small container this powder resembles very fine sand, it appears to be dust of disappearance and an identify spell reveals it to be such.  There is enough of it for one use.  When you use an action to throw a handful of the dust into the air, each creature that needs to breathe within 30 feet of you must succeed on a DC15 con saving throw or become unable to breathe while sneezing uncontrollably.  A creature affected in this way is incapacitated and suffocating.  As long as it is conscious a creature can repeat the saving throw at the end of its turns ending the effect on a success. A lesser restoration spell can also end the effect on a creature. And then the stone of good luck…this polished agate is on your person, you gain a plus one bonus to ability checks and saving throws.”

[Drew]:  “Can we take a second to appreciate that Saithe essentially now has pocket sand?”

[Caitie]:  “Pocket sand!”

[Jordan]:  “Oh no, that’s fully what that shit is.  Also-”

[Caitie]:  “I’m excited to use said pocket sand.”

[Jordan]:  “I imagine you guys are excited to use a lot of this stuff.  Is that everything that you guys wanted to buy?”

[Caitie]:  “Yes!  I’m good!”

[Jordan]:  “Alright, so as you guys head out the usual exit, Saithe at least for you – you’re intimately familiar with this-”

[Rick]:  “Have a nice day!  And don’t forget to come back to Rick Slavenly’s Corporeal Oozes!”

[[Music stops]]

[Jordan]:  “So at this point you guys have the option to either go to the grand archives and try and find out some information about  Silverymoon, beholders, what have you – or you can just make your way over to the departure area and head on out to Silverymoon.”

[Christina]:  “Mmm.  I think some research would probably be a good idea.  Especially to try to like, y’know, increase anything we might know about beholders if we don’t know – I mean I know Arlo knows a decent amount from previous conversation, or at least what they are but-”

[Drew]:  “I don’t know how much Arlo knows intimately of beholders.  I think I was out of character knowledge I was saying to give Caitie an idea of-”

[Jordan]:  “Why don’t we just go ahead and give me an intelligence check and we’ll see how much each of you is familiar with beholders.”

[Caitie]:  “21!”

[Jordan]:  “Jeesus fuck…”

[Drew]:  “Oh damn, that’s a 19 homie.”

[Christina]:  “Uh, 17!”

[Jordan]:  “Yeah, y’all know about beholders.”

[Christina]:  “Okay.”

[Jordan]:  “Which if any of you guys do not know about beholders IRL, I’ll just go ahead and say that what you guys would know is that beholders are not social creatures, they are extremely vain, believing themselves to be the top of the evolutionary pyramid.  They are the apex creature. And anything else is insignificant dust compared to them.  They also have an extremely unstable mindset and sometimes can even develop split personalities and even like actual separate bodies for said split personalities.”

[Christina]:  “Hm.”

[Jordan]:  “On top of that you also know they have several eye beams that range from stunning, to petrifications, to straight up disintegration.  But one of their more deadly ones is actually their antimagic ray which comes out of their main eye and anything looking within that, all magical effects are immediately negated.”

[Caitie]:  “Ooph.”

[Jordan]:  “That includes all the magic items y’all bought.”

[Christina]:  “Mhm.”

[Drew]:  “Oh boy.”

[Caitie]:  “So..”

[Drew]:  “I did not know that one.”

[Jordan]:  “Oh yeah no.  It is COMPLETE antimagic.  It negates ALL magic.  However, that also includes its various death rays.  So it is arguably a safe place to be, just not if you want to cast spells because the thing still can you know, bite at you.”

[Caitie]:  “So basically what you’re saying is we don’t want to fight this thing at all costs.”

[Jordan]:  “Oh super not.”

[Drew]:  “Oh no, not even a little bit, no.”

[Jordan]:  “So is there anything – again like, do you still want to go down to the archives, like look up anything else?  Or are you guys good with your knowledge of beholders?”     

[Caitie]:  “I feel pretty confident.”

[[Harp music plays]]                       

[Jordan]:  “So you guys head on over to the dispatch area where Second Chance is there waiting for you along with Oudart who comes up to meet you guys.”

[Oudart]:  “Oh hey guys!  You guys ready to head on out and take care of this crazy beholder shit?” 

[Saithe]:  “Always!”

[Oudart]:  “Fuck yeah!”

[Arlo]:  “Ready as we can be buddy, ready as we can be.”  

[Oudart]:  “Alright, well you guys can all go ahead and step onto that circle right there, and I”ll send you off!”  

[Arlo]:  “Oh Oudart, I’ve been meaning to ask you, how’d the clarinet recital go?”

[Oudart]:  “I’ve told you to stop patronizing me about that.”

[Arlo]:  “What?  I thought you were good!”

[Oudart]:  “I don’t play the fucking clarinet you piece of shit, get on the damn teleportation circle before I send you somewhere else.”

[[Christina and Drew laugh]]

[Drew]:  “Okay that’s fine, you could yes and me a little bit but whatever…  I just get on the circle.” 

[Jordan]:  “Alright, so you all step onto the teleportation circle and a bright light envelops you all and you are whisked away to the town of Silverymoon.”

[[Different harp music plays]]

[Jordan]:  “When you arrive there you see the town is fairly forested.  It’s not like a lot of – it’s definitely not like Neverwinter.  It’s maybe about as far removed from Neverwinter as you can get.  There are trees abound, everything is made of primitive stone and woodworking things, but still made well.  There is just all manner of wildlife around, there’s various animals and things and you can definitely see that there’s a lot of creatures that have more close ties to the fey around.  There’s a lot of elves, a lot of gnomes, things of that nature.  One other thing that you guys notice upon landing immediately that strikes you as odd… There seems to be a sizable population of yuan-ti in the area.”

[Drew]:  “Mmmmmmmmm.”

[Jordan]:  “Everyone give me a quick intelligence check to see how much you know about yuan-ti.”

[Christina]:  “7.”

[Drew]:  “That’s a 16.”

[Caitie]:  “13.”

[Jordan]:  “Alright so, Winterra and Saithe you guys aren’t terribly familiar.  Saithe you’ve at least heard of them but you’re not like intimately familiar with yuan-ti.  Arlo, you’ve heard more stories of them.  You don’t have like a deep deep intimate knowledge on them but you do know that they – similar to beholders – are extremely vain creatures that believe themselves to be the apex predator.  However, unlike beholders they are emotionless creatures that are extremely manipulative.  And they’re known to try to bend – to pull the strings from behind the scenes in order to get what they want.  And also, are not typically sociable creatures so the fact that there is this many in a town is bizarre, to say the least.”

[Christina]:  “Hm.”

[Drew]:  “Um, Arlo kind of leans over to his compatriots and is just like-”

[Arlo]:  “There’s a lot of yuan-ti out here and it’s pretty unusual to see them gathered around regular folk like this.  I’d advise us to steer clear of them if we can.  They’re usually pretty tricky at best.  At worst they can be tricky and also stabby.”

[Jordan]:  “Rhelynn actually chimes in and says-”

[Rhelynn]:  “That’s very tr- I’ve actually had to deal with their kind before.  They can be very, very dangerous.  If we can avoid them, it’s probably best that we do so.”

[Winterra]:  “Do…do you think they may be gathered in so many if it’s not normal for them to do so because of what’s going on with the elections?”

[Rhelynn]:  “It’s entirely possible, but I don’t see why they would involve themselves with the politics of a local town especially if they’re not part of its populace.”

[Arlo]:  “Well I mean if the platform that our beholder subject is running on is more equality for monstrous races, then if this does end up being on the up and up then this might just be some like minded yuan-ti.  We want to be careful, but we also don’t want to count them out just y’know, based on our past experiences.”

[Rhelynn]:  “This is a fair point.  So in my experience, it’s unusual for the director to ask us to – for multiple teams to go on a single mission – I assume mostly ‘cause of the time constraints.  So to that end I say it might be best for us to father information independently with each team going out and checking on various leads.  And then we reconvene at the end of the night and talk about what we’ve learned and we can figure out if everything is on the up and up, does that sound good to you guys?”

[Winterra]:  “Yeah, where should we meet back up with you?”

[Rhelynn]:  “Uh, well…”

[Jordan]:  “And then you hear the tiefling who you know has been referred to as 7 speak up and says-”

[7]:  “There is an inn in this town. It would be ideal for us to headquarters there.  It is likely to be a hotspot for gatherings of anyone involved in this election so I believe it would be advantageous for us to position ourselves there.”

[Caitie]:  “Alright, so what does this town consist of? Like we have the inn of course, it’s a small town so I assume there’s probably like a couple of small houses, maybe like a general store, um-”

[Jordan]:  “Okay so, as far as far as what is actually in the town itself, Rhelynn gives you a run down since that was some of the prep work that they did was getting some information on the town itself.  Since this is such a magical town there are a few places that focus on the various types of magics.  One such place is the grand archives that documents the history of Silverymoon and well as information on the various schools of magic, and houses several magical relics.  This is also typically where you would be most likely to find one of the mayoral candidates, Niavara Yaeldrin – the elven apprentice to the previous mayor of the town.  There is also a research area for the creation of magical items and new magical techniques that is headed by one of the other mayoral candidates, Seebo Leafry – a gnome who is an expert artificer.  There is also the hotel which has various residents coming in and out, inspecting the election, things like that.  There is a town square where you can find various shops of magical items, things of that nature, as well as a church that houses some alters – the main ones being for Mystra – the goddess of magic, and Mielikki – goddess of the forests, and Winterra this would be the goddess that you would be most likely to associate yourself with.  Past that, the only other thing of note that you know is not even in the town but as was mentioned by Raiann when she was debriefing you guys, Winterra’s old home – The Midnight Woods – is located due south of the town, maybe like an hour or two walk.”

[Drew]:  “Arlo looks over and is like-”

[Arlo]:  Gasps “Winterra can we take time on this mission to meet your parents?”

[Winterra]:  “Mmmmm.  If time allows it I suppose we can see if it works out to go that way but we want to focus on the mission first.”

[Arlo]:  “I mean of course we’re gonna focus on the mission first.  I’m just sayin’ like after.”

[Winterra]:  “…I mean like yeah, we can meet my family if it works out that way, I suppose.  My father isn’t always the most open person to be meeting, uh… lots of new people, but you know…” Nervous chuckle “…we can see how it goes…”

[Jordan]:  “You actually hear the other shifter from Second Chance speak up and say-”

[Forngal]:  “Oh! Your forest is just around here?  Awesome!”

[Winterra]:  “Yeah, it is!  Not too far.” 

[Forngal]:  “Oh, where I come from is way waaaay to the south.  But more swampy and stuff like that.”

[Winterra]:  “Hm”

[Fornal]:  “Is yours swampy?”

[Winterra]:  “Umm…I mean we have a river that runs through the forest but not quite, I wouldn’t really describe it as ‘swampy.’  Very deciduous in nature.”

[Forngal]:  “Nice, niiice.”

[Jordan]:  “And Rhelynn kind of chimes in like-”

[Rhelynn]:  “Getting back on topic, we can investigate either of the candidates or we can try and track down Granaphor and get some more direct results, while not provoking him!  I’m sure I don’t need to tell you all that beholders are exceptionally dangerous.”

[Winterra]:  “Mhm.”

[Rhelynn]:  “Especially one in a heavily populated area where there could be several casualties if things go wrong.”

[Arlo]:  “I actually have an idea on how we can maybe sort of at least get sort of a vibe check on this guy.”

[Rhelynn]:  “I’m all ears?”

[Arlo]:  “Well his platform is you know, more inclusion for the monstrous races and that’s his statement on that matter.  So it would make sense if we ah- had a couple members of our party who are traditionally a little more shunned in smaller towns go over kind of maybe as you know, go in undercover, say they’re interviewers or something. Try to get a story about him and what he’s, you know the platform he’s running on, or you know what business he has while he’s here.”

[Rhelynn]:  “That’s an…interesting idea.  I hadn’t thought of that angle.  Did you have anyone in-”

[Jordan]:  “And as she starts saying that she kind of looks over to Saithe and 7.”  

[Arlo]:  “Yeah, I mean I wasn’t gonna like volunteer them, but definitely…definitely that.”

[Rhelynn]:  “I feel like you sort of indirectly did.”

[Saithe]:  “I can’t help but feel like this situation’s a little bit racist.”

[Jordan]:  “Uh, Rhelynn immediately just turns away and kind of like pretends she didn’t hear that.”   

[[Drew and Christina chuckle]]

[Arlo]:  “Hey, it’s not like a- not like a whole you know tiefling, blah sort of thing.  But!  We can’t deny how we are perceived by others.”

[Saithe]:  “I mean.  I’m not saying you’re wrong.”

[Jordan]:  “But at the same time.”  

[Arlo]:  “Besides, look at me!  I’m a freaking dragon man!  And granted, people are usually kind of like ‘cool a dragon man!’   But like, you know sometimes they’re like ‘aw what the heck, what’s going on with you, why don’t you have a tail?’  Honestly I feel like that’s a very insensitive question.  You know how many times people ask me why I don’t have a tail?”

[Rhelynn]:  “I know!  It’s just…seriously we’re not literal dragons…”

[Arlo]:  “I know right!  Everyone’s like…like…what the hell!”

[Rhelynn]:  “It’s just argh!”

[Jordan]:  “And she manages to straighten up and is like-”

[Rhelynn]:  “On topic, on topic.”

[Saithe]:  “I mean…I guess…if we can find out more information…yeah!” 

[Rhelynn]:  “Alright, so would you guys like to take the lead on finding out about Granaphor while we look into the other candidates or maybe even just the town’s perception on this beholder?”

[Saithe]:  “Absolutely!  May as well.”  

[Rhelynn]: “Alright, well-”

[Saithe]:  “If I die, I die.” 

[Winterra]:  “Ah!”

[Rhelynn]:  “Let’s try and avoid that please!”

[Arlo]:  “Well I figure if we could do it like so…since we’re in a larger group and we tend to work in teams of three anyhow, we could kind of group it down into groups of three.  We’d maybe want 7 and Saithe going for the interview and maybe someone else for a pass sort of thing going with ‘em.  Then the rest of us can go check out the other candidates.  That way, if anything does go down, we’ve still got full active squads ready.”

[Rhelynn]:  “So what you’re-”

[Christina]:  Chuckles  “If we go with that plan I have an idea…”

[Jordan]:  “So Rhelynn speaks up and says,”

[Rhelynn]:  “So what you’re suggesting is instead of just dividing ourselves into the teams that already exist, we should pair up and combine the teams?”

[Arlo]:  “I mean there’s gotta be a reason they sent all of us.  We’ve gotta use all the resources at our disposal.”  

[Rhelynn]:  “That is a fair point…we do also  still have a whole week to figure this out.  I figure at the very least we could try and get reconnaissance first before we try and take immediate action.”

[Arlo]:  “Oh, it’s not intended action!  It is just that, reconnaissance.”

[Rhelynn]:  “Well…”

[Arlo]:  “We’re just making sure that if reconnaissance goes wrong we still got active squads ready.”

[Rhelynn]:  “Alright well who did you have in mind for doing what?  You’ve already mentioned who you want to speak with Granaphor but that still leaves everyone else.”

[Arlo]:  “Let’s say…you and me can go and talk to our artificer candidate and then everyone else can go talk to the other candidate.”

[Rhelynn]: “I think that’s as good an idea as any.  Let’s go ahead and get it done then!  I suppose we’ll reconvene here in say…a few hours?”

[Arlo]:  “Alright, sounds like a plan!”

[Rhelynn]:  “Excellent!”

[Arlo]:  “Everybody good with that?”

[Saithe]:  “Let’s do it!”

[Jordan]:  “So you guys all split off and as you do, Arlo you feel a tap on the back of your ankle.”

[Drew]:  “I look down.”  

[Jordan]:  “As you do you see a small pufferfish standing on legs, holding a flyer for one Big Betty’s  Wandering Tavern!  And that is where we shall pause our tale for now!”  

[Caitie]:  “I love it!”

[Christina]:  “I love Big Betty’s.”

[Jordan]:  “I do too.  And I love all of you for listening to our wonderful, wonderful podcast thank you all so much!  Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, check us out on Patreon, we’ve got our aftershow there ‘Peek Behind the Screen’ and we also tend to release episodes a week early now that we’ve gotten things back under control we should be able to stick to that more regularly than we did at the beginning. Things just got kind of out of hand, we’re still new at this trying to figure everything out so… thank you for your patience with that one but we got it now! Hopefully it stays… “

[Caitie]:  “Indeed!  We’ll do better!”

[Jordan]:  “We will do better.  And we got plugs still, sorry part hasn’t been fixed and it probably never will!  So if you guys need a graphic artist, for any of your graphically artistic needs, whatever those are I don’t know I’m not a graphic artist, I don’t know what that shit is!  Check out Black Feather Graphics, they are a freelance graphic artist who helped us out with the show, they made our logo and they’ve helped me out with other projects and plenty of other people out with their own projects – they’re fantastic at what they do – if you want to see their work for yourself just head on over to blackfeathergraphics.com and check out what they got.

Anyone in the Charlotte area who just has a hankering for some cheesecake especially during these times where we cannot just go out and can’t go out to our cheesecake factories and all that stuff, because stupid beer virus or whatever the hell…I’m sorry that was a dumb joke, um”

[Drew]:  “…the beer virus.”  

[Caitie]:  “Oh my god.  Fam, come on.”

[Drew]:  “Minus twenty Jordan points.” 

[Caitie]:  “Boooo.”

[Jordan]:  “I’m sorry, we had a display for that like of Coronas at work and it was the first thing I thought of, of ‘wow that’s a terrible idea.’ I realize there’s no correlation but still. Um. but anyway yeah!  Getting back to the point, ‘Just Cheesecakes by Tina Rose’ find them on Facebook, they do quality cheesecakes, whatever kind you want, they’re very easy to work with they can deliver to you just again, the Charlotte area.”

[Drew]:  “Oh they do delivery?”

[Jordan]:  “Well they kind of have to.”

[Drew]:  “I mean yeah that makes more sense.  I mean I dunno they could do carryout, I didn’t know they did delivery.”

[Jordan]:  “Yeah no, that’s-”

[Drew]:  “This is legitimately not trying to do a commercial, like commercialized thing but like imagine the fucking height of luxury of sitting at your home and you’re like ‘I want cheesecake’ and then you call them and you’re like ‘Bring me a cheesecake’ and then they bring you a cheesecake, that’s dope!”

[Caitie]:  “Stop saying the word ‘cheesecake’ lord almighty!”

[Jordan]:  “Cheesecake, cheesecake, cheesecake.”

[Drew]:  “Ch-ch-ch-cheesecake!”

[Jordan]:  “Find them on Facebook at ‘Just Cheesecakes by Tina Rose.’  Alright, Andrew you’re up do your thing.”

[Drew]:  “Oh yeah!  Also check out Kinetic Concepts Personal Training.  Check out our instagram at ‘KineticConceptFitness.’  If you are looking to shed a little bit of weight while we’ve got some extra time on our hands, while you’re stuck at home, give us a call.  We can get you scientifically proven and catered to you workouts and we can do so virtually so you don’t have to risk getting sick! We have also started doing group sessions, and group exercise sessions! Meaning you can save yourself a bit of money, it’d be much less personalized but you can you know, get together with a group of friends with an online conference call and get that social aspect that we’re all missing while we’re all stuck at home and get a good sweat going as well.  Remember that’s ‘Kinetic Concepts Fitness Personal Training’ check us out on instagram, twitter, and facebook!”

[Jordan]:  “And just so you guys know, like what he’s offering with that whole scientific thing, fully fully works like as one of his clients on that one I can vouch he’s given me like every nerd’s personal fantasy – I have abs now!  You know how awesome that feels?  Being a nerd with abs?  That’s amazing!”

[Drew]:  “I have like actively been proud of the amount of progress you’ve made.  Like that moment of clarity where you were sparring with everybody in a row and like you were tiring out multiple people I was like ‘Yeah, that’s my boy! I did that!’”

[Jordan]:  “Yeah, the science works, I’m proof of that!  So it’s not just fancy words.  No, it’s real! This guy can get you some, he can get you right.  But that’s going to do it for us this week, next episode will be up in two weeks, and we got our aftershow up last week, so until then…bye!”

[Caitie]:  “Bye guys!”

[Christina]:  “Bye guys!”

[Drew]:  “Bye!!!  Tweet about the show!”

Dog Tax, as Promised!

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